[Copypasta] Please abide by the Reddit amendments

Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments: • ⁠Big Chungus is funny • ⁠Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ • ⁠Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes) • ⁠Fortnite is gay (gay = bad) • ⁠Females are dumb while men are cool • ⁠Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company) • ⁠Minecraft is the best game ever made • ⁠No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted))) • ⁠Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong • ⁠Reddit is the best social media Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Salty tofu

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

KAPOW

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⢀⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠀⢠⣾⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢠⣶⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⢀⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣾⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣸⣿⣯⣴⢿⣿⣿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠹⡿⢣⣿⡿⠋⠀⠘⠛⠁⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣿⠀⣾⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣤⣶⣾⣷⣆⠀⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⣰⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⠟⠉⣸⡿⢣⣾⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣠⡴⠟⢡⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⢀⣴⡿⠃⠀⠟⠋⠁⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
October 2020

Tricky the Clown (HellClown)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡇⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠀⢸⠋⣹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠌⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⠒⡒⢾⣦⡀⣀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⡅⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⡈⢿⣷⣽⡿⣣⣿⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠄⠀⠀⠰⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣷⢈⣏⣴⣿⡥⠂⠀⠀⠀⢠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠙⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠃⠀⠊⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣏⣸⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠁⠀⠀⠈⠈⢢⠤⢤⢠⣾⣏⡟⠋⠀⢀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠙⠃⠸⠾⠟⠐⠀⠙⠿⠋⢉⣀⠀⡈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⠉⠒⢮⣦⣠⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣦⢻⣦⠀⣠⣆⠈⠑⢌⠒⠺⠦⠤⠠⠎⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⡄⣿⣦⣬⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠤⠐⠲⠾⢿⣷⣝⣻⣿⠹⡶⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣴⡋⠻⣿⣷⣗⢿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⢿⣿⣶⣿⡿⠿⢷⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣿⣧⢃⠀⠀⠛⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠀⠈⢙⡽⠀⣾⣿⣿⣧⣜⣿ ⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢾⠀⠀⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣩⣾⣿⣿⡽⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣄⣀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

I've been making fake sub names for Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey, my name is Carlton Pasterino. I have something to confess. For the last 3 years I've been making fake sub names for Kripp. He pays me pennies and dimes to come up with 50 new names a day. From Thundercuck to MrRabbit69, I've made over 80% of his subs up for him. I'm tired of working like a child laborer. I'm ready to go back to college and make something of myself. I'm here to let the world know.
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Classic

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing