[Copypasta] Please abide by the Reddit amendments

Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments: • ⁠Big Chungus is funny • ⁠Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ • ⁠Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes) • ⁠Fortnite is gay (gay = bad) • ⁠Females are dumb while men are cool • ⁠Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company) • ⁠Minecraft is the best game ever made • ⁠No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted))) • ⁠Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong • ⁠Reddit is the best social media Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator

twitchquotes: You have been reported. I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
twitch chat
December 2018

MODS

Wreck-it Ralph

████████████████████████████████ ██████▓▓▓▓█████▓▓▓▓████▓▓▓▓█████ ████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓▓▓▓███████ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███ █████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█████ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███ █████▓▓▓▓▒▒██░░░░░░██▒▒▓▓▓▓█████ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒██▓▓██▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓███ █▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒────▒▒────▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓█ ███░░▒▒▓▓░░──██░▒██──░░▓▓▒▒░░███ ███░░░░▓▓░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░▓▓░░░░███ ███████░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░███████ ███████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███████ █████░░░░██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██░░░░█████ █████░░████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄████░░█████ █████░░██████████████████░░█████ █████░░██▒▒██▓▓▓▓▓▓██▒▒██░░█████ █████░░██▓█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▓██░░█████ █████░░████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄████░░█████ ███████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███████ █████████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████ ████████████████████████████████
September 2021

Unseen donger is the deadliest

twitchquotes: (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
twitch chat
June 2017

Classic

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing