[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020

Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

Feminist deck

twitchquotes: Kripp you should make a feminist deck with double equality and faceless manipulator (because all are equal), double stonetusk boar (because all men are swines) and a lot of beast synergy (because all men are animals). Thanks Kripp
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Imagine using a mid tier character

twitchquotes: Imagine using a mid tier character that needs tons of practice and dedication as you need to memorize every gimp and gimmick and you lose to some smash 4 downsmash down B up B shit
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

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