[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
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February 2022
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

mizkifS

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⡄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣼⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣠⣴⡾⠟⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⣋⣉⣁⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Thanks Nivea!

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ GUYS GUYS , just used new Nivea Lotion on my donger and now it looks 10 years youger , THANKS NIVEA ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
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October 2014
imaqtpie

Vaporeon but uwu

April 2022

Pokemon

Giant Douche

twitchquotes: If Reynad was a Hearthstone card he'd be a Giant Douche
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March 2014
Reynad
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