[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Fabulous

⊂_ヽ 　 ＼＼ ＿ 　　 ＼(　•_•) F 　　　 <　⌒ヽ A 　　　/ 　 へ＼ B 　　 /　　/　＼＼ U 　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ L 　　/　/ O 　 /　/| U 　(　(ヽ S 　|　|、＼ 　| 丿 ＼ ⌒) 　| |　　) / `ノ )　　Lﾉ (_／
ascii art
December 2020

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

Evere Time Kripe Bro Fist I Put Balls On Compotur Scren

twitchquotes: Ｅｖｅｒｅ Ｔｉｍ Ｋｒｉｐｅ Ｂｒｏ Ｆｉｓｔ Ｉ Ｐｕｔ Ｂａｌｌｓ Ｏｎ Ｃｏｍｐｏｔｕｒ Ｓｃｒｅｎ． Ｍａｅｋ Ｋｒｉｐｅ Ｌｏｏｋ Ｇａｙ Ｈａｈａ Ｋｒｉｐｅ Ｔｏｕｃｈｂａｌｌｓ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant.

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant. 1) push her (duh) 2) smoke her lineup position so she cant setup the lineup 3) molly her lineup position, as above 4) bodyblock the Snakebite (this one is hilarious) 5) Sage wall to bounce, as above
June 2021

Valorant

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