[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

amogus made people think I'm racist

My teacher was showing us a video and the narrator was some Indian guy with a heavy accent. My friend was smiling and I smiled back. The teacher caught us and told us not to make fun of people's accents. I did genuinely felt sorry so I tried to be serious. Then my mind started thinking about dumb shit and I was trying to not laugh. I told myself to be serious then my mind fucking thinks "amogus". I couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed loud enough to get everyone's attention. Now everyone thinks I was laughing at the Indian guy and that I'm racist.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

Ruining my twitch chat experience

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my twitch chat experience. I come to the twitch chat for mature conversation about the gameplay, only to be awarded with kappa faces and frankerzs. People who spam said faces need medical attention utmost. The twitch chat is serious business, and the mods should really raise their dongers.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

BatChest

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠚⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠐⠂⠄⠐⠂⠙⠻⢿⠟⠛⠄⠒⠈⠄⠒⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢀⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣧⢀⣀⠄⢀⣆⣠⡀⠄⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⠉⠙⠋⠉⣹⣿⢿⡿⡿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠘⠛⠑⠋⠄⣀⣀⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠈⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢕⠠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄⠛⠯⠥⠒⠁⠄⠄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠄⠐⠄⢤⣤⢴⠚⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⠄⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Emote

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