[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Is that insider trading?

If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

xqcSleeper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠛⢉⣡⣴⣶⣶⡶⠿⠛⠛⠉⠳⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⡿⣛⡁⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣤⡀⠉⠁⠉⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡎⢀⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣶⣶⡄⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠂⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣄⠹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣏⡉⠉⠥⣴⣶⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⡟⠙⣿⣿⡟⠋⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⣿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⠿⠛⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀
ascii art
December 2020
xQcOW

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
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