[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!

twitchquotes: I'm SICK of STREAMERS referring to all us all as "Twitch Chat" as if we're some sort of hivemind. I am NOT a DRONE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
twitch chat
May 2015

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

havenโ€™t done assassins in a while

twitchquotes: "alright, locket I guessโ€ ResidentSleeper โ€œhavenโ€™t done assassins in a whileโ€ ResidentSleeper โ€œguess Iโ€™ll pick up this akaliโ€ ResidentSleeper โ€œoh look, 6 assassinsโ€ ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจHAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom๐Ÿ—ฝloving hoes๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…who put the ๐Ÿ‘in IM๐Ÿ‘MENT๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›looks like donald๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿคฎfinally got caught๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โœˆ๏ธtrying to call daddy ukraine๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ to take out hoe biden๐Ÿง“๐Ÿป๐Ÿ”ฅ but now we need to RIDE๐Ÿ‡CUMgress ๐Ÿ›raw๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘… so they canโ€™t back down๏ธ, send this to๐Ÿ”Ÿof your๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿปwokest๐Ÿ“woes๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŒor say ๐Ÿ‘‹BYE to ur independence๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฉeating that IMPEACHMENT๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธDAY๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธASS ๐Ÿ‘is the only๏ธ ethical๐Ÿ‘Œform of consumption๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹under late capitalism๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ’ถso WEโ€™RE ALL EATING TODAYโ˜ญโ˜ญโ˜ญ๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…
twitch chat
December 2019

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: ๐“›๐“˜๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“พ๐“น ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“ฝ๐“ป๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป 90 ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ'๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ถ๐“ฎ? ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ด ๐“ช๐“ฐ๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ผ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท 69 ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“ผ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ฝ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ. ๐“˜'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ผ๐“ด๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ท๐“๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ, ๐“˜ ๐“ฐ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ฐ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“น๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ผ. ๐“จ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ณ๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ผ๐”€๐“ช๐“ฝ, ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ.
twitch chat
September 2018

Fortnite

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