[Copypasta] Blue Lives Matter (Smurfs)

blue people don't exist. this is offensive. i have never in my life met a blue person. SMURFS ARENT REAL GUYS. IM TIRED OF SEEING THIS BLUE LIVES MATTER, SMURFS ARE NOT REAL THERE ARE NO BLUE PEOPLE. and even if they were real, they do not matter. i hate smurfs. theyre ugly and short. i could step on them. they have big noses. i just want to pick them up and bite their heads like laffy taffy. DO NOT STAN BLUE LIVES
October 2021
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More Copypastas

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021

Hey chat, take it easy please

twitchquotes: Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you.
twitch chat
May 2015
Tempo Storm

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

Nairo Meta Whore

twitchquotes: NairoMK? more like Nairo Meta Whore (whore with a silent K). all you do is play the most broken characters because they are "meta" what the crap even is the meta. i miss when you used to be loyal to your characters like Zero. Zero is a HARDCORE final fantasy fan and played cloud in tournament despite the nerfs to his favorite character. enjoy your cheap wins until the next patch hits and nerfs your busted characters. us character loyalists will gladly take your top seed. Lucas main BTW.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, it’s an insult to hear “air fryers are as good as frying”. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time I’m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: I’m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: I’ll never stop upvoting and loving you all but… but I’m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an “extra air oven” as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment “you clearly don’t own an air fryer” I’d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isn’t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021
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