[Copypasta] Blue Lives Matter (Smurfs)

blue people don't exist. this is offensive. i have never in my life met a blue person. SMURFS ARENT REAL GUYS. IM TIRED OF SEEING THIS BLUE LIVES MATTER, SMURFS ARE NOT REAL THERE ARE NO BLUE PEOPLE. and even if they were real, they do not matter. i hate smurfs. theyre ugly and short. i could step on them. they have big noses. i just want to pick them up and bite their heads like laffy taffy. DO NOT STAN BLUE LIVES
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Rank 25 Casual

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮Hey Vegeta, what does the scouter say about Kripp's powerlevel? Its over Rank 25 CASUAL!!! ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

AngelThump v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠙⢿⡿⠛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⣶⣦⡈⠃⡠⡺⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠀⢠⣾⣿⣆⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢠⠸⠟⠈⠛⠛⠛⠸⠿⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣧⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠿⠟⢋⣠⣾⣿⣿⢿⣻⣇⢸⡀⠀⢸⣦⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠙ ⣀⠚⠛⠛⣽⡿⠃⠛⣠⣤⡀⠃⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⣙⣘⠛⠗⢉⣁⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣤⣁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

Rexxar diary GvG

twitchquotes: ʀᴇxxᴀʀ ᴅɪᴀʀʏ ɢᴠɢ ᴅᴀʏ 1: ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʀᴏʙᴏᴛ ɴᴏᴡ. ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏɴғᴜsᴇ. ᴛʀᴀᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ʜɪᴛ ғᴀᴄᴇ? ɪ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴛ1 ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴛᴀᴋᴇʀ ᴄᴏɪɴ ʟᴇᴘᴇʀ ɢɴᴏᴍᴇ? ɢᴠɢ ᴅᴀʏ 2: ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ, ʙʀᴀɪɴ ʜᴜʀᴛ. ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴏʟᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ. ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴜsᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪᴛ ғᴀᴄᴇ. ᴀᴍ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜʀᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ʀᴏʙᴏᴛ. ɢᴠɢ ᴅᴀʏ 3: ᴍᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴡɪɴɴɪɴɢ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Trollge emote smiling

⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⠿⢰⣿⣶⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡄⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠉⣉⣉⣩⣥⡶⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⡀⠀⢠⣿⠟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣤⣤⣤⢰⣿⡦⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠀⠛⠛⠋⠈⠉⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⡆⣤⣤⣄⡄⢀⣀⣀⢀⣀⢀⡄⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⡋⣿⠏⠛⣃⣤⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣠⣤⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing