blue people don't exist. this is offensive. i have never in my life met a blue person. SMURFS ARENT REAL GUYS. IM TIRED OF SEEING THIS BLUE LIVES MATTER, SMURFS ARE NOT REAL THERE ARE NO BLUE PEOPLE. and even if they were real, they do not matter. i hate smurfs. theyre ugly and short. i could step on them. they have big noses. i just want to pick them up and bite their heads like laffy taffy. DO NOT STAN BLUE LIVES
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Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iāve never heard that joke before, but itās so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereās a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canāt get over this joke. Iām giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidās Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, āI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.ā I will tell my children, and my childrenās children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iām fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iām gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itās gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, āI identify as an attack helicopter.ā Itāll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canāt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iām going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canāt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iām going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatās okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonāt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
You will never be Japanese
You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of natureās perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually itāll be too much to bear - youāll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. Theyāll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
Weebs
I hardly ever watch twitch anymore
twitchquotes:
I hardly ever watch twitch anymore, and itās mostly because of cringe chat. All you do is copy and paste the same things or constantly repeat the same stupid emotes in response to everything. So predictable and annoying
twitch chat
Positive streamers only
twitchquotes:
Hi Mewnfare, it's Cliff, from Blizzard. Heard you were having some issues with matchmaking in our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, due to the notes 'Salt mine Overlord' and 'Hots Suggardaddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only positive streamers can play with a proper matchmaking today. Feel free to submit an appeal to our support team.
twitch chat
mewnfare
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS
twitchquotes:
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME FOR 10DAYS NON STOP 
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME FOR 10DAYS NON STOP
twitch chat