[Copypasta] Blue Lives Matter (Smurfs)

blue people don't exist. this is offensive. i have never in my life met a blue person. SMURFS ARENT REAL GUYS. IM TIRED OF SEEING THIS BLUE LIVES MATTER, SMURFS ARE NOT REAL THERE ARE NO BLUE PEOPLE. and even if they were real, they do not matter. i hate smurfs. theyre ugly and short. i could step on them. they have big noses. i just want to pick them up and bite their heads like laffy taffy. DO NOT STAN BLUE LIVES
October 2021
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October 2014
Kripp

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian

Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
December 2020

This ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘‰ is money snek

twitchquotes: This ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘‰ is money snek. ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ Upsnek โฌ†โฌ†๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ”œ in 7.123 7โƒฃ 1โƒฃ2โƒฃ3โƒฃ snekonds ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ or you โœ‹โœ‹ will NEVER โŒโŒโŒโŒ get monies ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ again Beware!! โœ‹โœ‹โŒโŒYou๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ don't โŒโŒ have much time!!๐Ÿ•›๐Ÿ•ง๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•œ๐Ÿ•‘๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ• You ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ may never โŒโŒget monies ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ again!!
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April 2019

Emoji Pasta

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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