Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck youโre masturbating to will see โyou are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure๐๐๐โ will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, Iโd bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Stream snipers
twitchquotes:
One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, โAlright, but catch and release only โ Iโm vegan.โ They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, โGet down!โ. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, โFucking stream snipers.โ
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I saw JPOW at the grocery store
I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no.
He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good.
The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even"
Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on.
It was a pretty weird.
WallStreetBets
Classic
All this mass market pasta is frankly embarrassing
twitchquotes:
All this mass market pasta is frankly embarrassing. Sure its easy to go grab a box of ready to cook ocean man emoji or witch mercy, but easy doesn't make it good. It honestly isn't that hard to make your own damn pasta at home, and with whatever quality ingredients you want. Want some ME SPAM? Just put it in there! Can anyone truly say they've participated in chat if they've never made their own pasta? I say no
twitch chat
She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high
until they're rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em
Hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well!
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore.
Easter emoji pasta
HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ HOES!!! Today is ๐๐Easter!! You know what that means๐ค๐ค๐ค??? Itโs time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK๐ซ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK ๐ซ๐ฆ then itโs time for โช๏ธchurchโช๏ธ!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK๐๐๐๐ because jesus is CUMMING๐ฉ๐๐๐ฆ back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐. Then itโs time for the egg hunt ๐ต๐ต๐ต!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE๐๐ฉ CRACK ๐ซ๐ and CREVICE ๐ค๐๐ for the GRAND PRIZE ๐ค๐ getting that ๐ต๐ธ๐บPASTEL PUSSY๐๐ฃ๐ฎ RODE ๐๐๐ into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ HOES๐๐ซ๐๐ฆ. If u get 5๏ธโฃ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get ๐ back ur a LOADED ๐๐
๐๐ป๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ EASTER BASKET. If you get 2๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED ๐ฑ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆIN UR RABBIT ๐ฐ๐๐ฐHOLE TONIGHT!!!!