[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Derp face

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May 2021

Elder God Heavy [TF2 CHEATER]

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⣀⣀⣀⡠⠬⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢻⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡟⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣀⣀⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⢣⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡇⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢅⡒⠃⠀⠓⠒⡲⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡸⠀⠎⠀⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢳⢸⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡱⠀⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⢠⠇⡜⠀⢰⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠷⠊⠉⠲⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⡌⡸⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⢠⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⡰⠖⠤⢤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⠈⠀⠀⠙⠉⣿⠛⢻⠂⠒⣶⠒⠉⣭⣍⠉⠒⠀⠀⠉⠉⢱⠤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⠹⡿⣿⠽⠀⡀⠀⠈⢻⠆⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣻⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠘⣇⠀⣀⣸⠀⠀⠉⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠹⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣛⣿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⢀⠴⠊⣩⢻⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢱⡝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠋⡍⠀⢸⣀⠤⠔⠒⠊⡏⡠⠚⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠈⡏⢢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡠⠷⠾⠥⠤⠤⡄⠀⡜⠀⡇⢠⠁⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠀⠀⡇⠀⡇⡇⠀⠀⠀⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⢀⠤⠒⢁⡠⠊⠘⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠒⠒⢛⠄⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠕⠊⠁⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢠⠋⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠤⡴⠞⠋⣀⠤⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿ ⠾⠤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⢉⡤⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⢡⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠮⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡠⠊⠈⠉⠉⠉⠑⡲⠓⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⡡⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣀⣎⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠐⡆⠀⢀⢜⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠢⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡠⡞⠁⢠⢊⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠒⠤⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠜⠀⡰⡡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⢀⠖⢲⠢⠤⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤ ⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠀⡰⠃⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠐⠒⠢⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⢰⠁⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠒⠒⢲⠀⢀⠎⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⡰⢻⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⢠⠋⢠⠊ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢀⠞⠀⢦⡀⠑⠤⣀⡀⠀⠸⢅⡀⠈⠑⠒⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⡠⠃⢠⠃⠀
May 2021

Now my mom calls us sussy bakas

My 12 year old little sister called my older sister it yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.
June 2021

Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone

twitchquotes: I am Geepsy from Romania. All of my life I have dreamed to play against top players like Dennis and ray nads in Cardstone. My girlfriend Alextrasza sold our farm to achieve my dream. Wish me luck at Dreamhack!
twitch chat
April 2014
PGL
Text-to-Speech Playing