[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
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Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
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November 2018

Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi. Whatever is going on in your kokoro right now, please know that you are kawaii and your story is not a filler. You are loved (◕‿◕✿) KonCha
twitch chat
March 2018

Weebs

THATS A YEP MOMENT

twitchquotes: THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦 THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL 💦
twitch chat
June 2020

Hey reckful’s brain, reckful’s chat here

twitchquotes: Hey reckful’s brain, reckful’s chat here. The way you make reckful sad all the time is not very cash money of you. I don’t think it’s very considerate of you to make reckful feel this way. He already has a hard time with being bipolar, why are you so mean to reckful? I try to make him happy but you do not make it easy. Reckful is a good guy and doesn’t need you in his head all the time making things harder. Fix your chemical imbalance brain, it will make everyone feel better.
twitch chat
August 2019
Reckful
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