[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
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More Copypastas

Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020

valorant is not csgo

twitchquotes: Valorant is not csgo Everywhere I go I see things like valorant vs csgo, which is harder, which is better, which is more competitive/fun, and its confusing, yes valorant is a tac shooter, and has similar mechanics, but this is just another example of what people did with overwatch vs tf2 especially on release, it was all pointless because overwatch ISNT tf2 and valorant ISNT csgo regardless of their similar mechanics, valorant requires immensly more teamwork, and has whacky tools csgo has never seen, like stim beacon, sage’s entire kit, cyphers entire kit, sovas entire kit, breach fault line and aftershock, and EVERYONES ultimate, its never been seen before in a tac shooter, valorant isnt better/worse, harder/easier, its different, and always will be
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

CSGO

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

Empirical data suggests this is a QTpie stream

twitchquotes: CarlSmile AH! CarlSmile White shirt! CarlSmile Gray screen! CarlSmile Empirical data suggests this is a QTpie stream.
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

xqcM emote

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠓⠢⠄ ⣺⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠚⠛⠛⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠼⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢀⠤⠶⠖⠺⠿⣶⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⣀⡰⠖⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠸⣉⠄⢀⣃⣠⣶⡾⠋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⣶⣶⣿⡿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄ ⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠈⠛⠻⠿⠟⠋⠈⠄⣼⣥⠄⠄⠈⠋⠉⠉⣽⡿⠿⢛⠇⠄ ⣧⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣠⣤⣾⠃⠄⠄ ⣶⣌⣚⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣫⣴⠆⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣃⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⣼⣿⡋⣾⡇⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⡛⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⣮⡵⢟⡂⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣶⢂⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣷⡝⣿⣿⠯⠭⠶⡽⢗⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⠘⠓⠷⠾⠄⠗⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2019
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing