[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck youโ€™re masturbating to will see โ€œyou are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โ€ will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, Iโ€™d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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A donger with a monocle

twitchquotes: (โ•ญเฒฐ_โŠ™) what, never seen a donger with a monocle? (โ•ญเฒฐ_โŠ™)
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020

Hippo

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ(โ—)โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ€ƒโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

UwU what's this? Nuzzles how are you

twitchquotes: Rawr๐Ÿฒ๐ŸŠ x3๐Ÿ˜‹ nuzzles how are you๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ™‚ pounces on you๐Ÿ˜› youโ€™re๐Ÿ˜ƒ so๐Ÿ˜„ warm๐Ÿค’๐Ÿ˜ˆ o3o๐Ÿ˜ notices๐Ÿ˜ฏ you have a bulge๐Ÿ† o:๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฎ someoneโ€™s happy๐Ÿ˜ƒ ;)๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜œ nuzzles your necky wecky๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜—~ murr~ hehehe๐Ÿ˜Š rubbies๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿคš your bulgy๐Ÿ† wolgy youโ€™re๐Ÿ˜Œ so big๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฎ :oooo rubbies๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿคš more on your bulgy๐Ÿ† wolgy it๐Ÿšซ doesnโ€™t stop๐Ÿ›‘ growing ยท///ยท ๐Ÿ˜kisses๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜˜ you๐Ÿ™‚ and lickies๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

Weebs

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