[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020

WideHardo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣻⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣡⣤⣬⣿⣿⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⣿⣍⣴⡆⠄⢠⣍⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢡⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⡿⠉⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠓⠄⠠⣶⣶⣶⣿⠇⢸⣿ ⡿⠄⠠⣤⣽⣿⣿⣍⣠⣤⣤⣭⣬⣭⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⡀⠄⣀⡀⣠⣭⡤⠄⣸⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡜⢋⣼⣿⠟⠄⣰⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹
April 2021

Evolution is sorcery made up by communists

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Pie, concerned Christian parent here, my child came asking for 4.99$ because he said he wanted to join the BDC, whatever that is. Please stop filling my kid's head with lies... I already had to tell him that Evolution is sorcery made up by communists
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Bag of bears

twitchquotes: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ Sorry, I dropped my bag of bears ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ
twitch chat
October 2014
Trick2g

Please help me my son is very sick

twitchquotes: forsen1 forsen2 please help me my son is very sick forsenStein forsen3 forsen4
twitch chat
November 2016
Forsen
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