[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

All hail Wildturtle!

twitchquotes: OMG Its The Real Wildturtle! The best player in the whole NA Server! We are so blessed to be graced with this stream. All Hail Wildturtle!!! Please copy and paste this to show the great Wildturtle our love!
twitch chat
November 2014
WildTurtle

Commonwealth of Veganism

twitchquotes: We have claimed, for Electoral Vote purposes, the Commonwealth of Veganism (which won’t allow legal meat eaters) the State of Twitch, and the State of Kripparian, each one of which has a BIG Vegan lead. Additionally, we hereby claim the State of Lettuce if, in fact, there was a large number of secretly dumped carrots as has been widely reported!
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

4WeirdBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⣁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡉⠉⠉⠻⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⡉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⡿⠟⠉⣉⣉⣉⠉⠉⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣤⣶⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣯⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠾⠿⠿⠷⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣶⣶⣶⡖⢰⣶⣶⣾⡿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠷⠾⠿⠿⠿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⣶⠖⠄⠒⢶⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡏⡖⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡇⠄⢰⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠛⠁⠇⠄⠄⠻⠙⠟⠃⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡇⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing