Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
I used to be a real ad
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Chinese characters wave
twitchquotes:
厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半与本二上旦上二本与半卉一十廿卞广下厂厂下广卞廿十一卉半
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Pac-Man projectiles
twitchquotes:
🍒 🍓 🍊 🍎 🍈 ✈️ 🔔 🔑
🍒 🍓 🍊 🍎 🍈 ✈️ 🔔 🔑
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Super Smash Bros
I thought my parents were rap battling
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub
Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. 
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Kripp