[Copypasta] Based

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...

twitchquotes: After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

69 is very funny.

Haha 69. It's funny because 69ing, or doing 69, is sharing oral sex with your partner; in other words, it’s giving and receiving oral sex at the same time. Oral sex is when people use their mouths to stimulate another person’s genitals. Oral sex on a woman is called β€œcunnilingus.” On a man it’s called β€œfellatio.” Anyone β€” girl or guy β€” can give or receive oral sex as long as she or he is comfortable with it and wants to engage in in oral sex. Oral sex cannot cause pregnancy. But it can pass on infections, whether the person is giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Oral sex is generally less risky for these infections than unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is still some risk. Using a barrier can reduce the risks. For safer oral sex, use a condom to cover the penis, or a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus. In reference to the sex position, "69" has become an internet meme, where users will respond to any occurrence of the number with the word "nice" and draw specific attention to it. This means to sarcastically imply that the reference to the sex position was intentional. Because of its association with the sex position and resulting meme, "69" has become known as "the sex number" in certain communities.
January 2022

NSFW

Discord user cracks after seeing the word β€œsus”

oh my god among us isnt FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE ITS BEEN MONTHS MONTHS IM SICK OF THIS SHIT JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE PEOPLE OH MY GOD EVERYTHING ABOUT AMONG US IS UNCOOL LITERALLY EVERYTHING IT SCREAMS β€œIM A VIRGIN” AND GODDAMNIT THAT WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS SHITB ITS NOT FUNNY ITS A DUDE ON METH WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS LIKE WHAT THE HELL BRO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HOLY SHIT HUMANITY IS FUCKed THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE ALL TIME LOW OH MY FYCKING LOOORDDD DUDE @everyone STOP MAKING AMONG US JOKES ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY holy shit fuck anybody who finds among us funny im done with this shit
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Greetings r/atheism

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us. That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth! Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome. Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

You've been gnomed

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October 2018

Classic

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