[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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twitchquotes: BuddhaBar แ…š KevinTurtle แ…šแ…š แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š แ…šแ…š แ…šแ…š แ…šแ…š TooSpicy แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š แ…š WholeWheat แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š PogChamp แ…šแ…š Kappa แ…šแ…š SriHead แ…šแ…š แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š DansGame แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š cmonBruh แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š แ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…šแ…š DatSheffy แ…š WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Sloth

โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ปโ ฟโขฟโกฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ ‰โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ „โข โ „โ „โข€โ „โ „โกฌโ ›โขฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโกฟโ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ …โ „โ …โ „โ โ „โ „โ „โ โ คโ „โ ›โขฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โฃ€โ „โฃ€โฃ โฃ€โ „โขˆโฃ‘โฃขโฃคโก„โ ”โ ซโขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโกโ ‚โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃคโฃคโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฎโฃ”โ ‚โก™โฃฟโฃฟ โกฟโ „โ „โฃ โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃˆโฃฟ โ ‡โ „โข โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโกฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกงโฃผ โ „โ „โ ฝโ ฟโ Ÿโ ‹โ โ ™โ „โข โฃฟโกฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก โขŒโฃงโ „โ ˆโ ›โ ‰โ ›โ โก‹โขน โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃพโกฟโ ‘โ šโ ‹โ ›โ ›โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃคโก„โข€โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ ˆโ „โขธ โฃ„โ „โ „โ „โขฐโฃพโ Ÿโ ‹โ ›โ ›โ ‚โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ’โ ‚โ ›โกฟโขŸโ ปโ ƒโ „โขผโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ คโ โขธ โฃฟโก„โ „โข€โขโข“โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ  โ  โ ถโขบโฃฟโฃฏโฃตโฃฆโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ „โขธ โฃฟโฃฟโก€โ „โ ˆโ „โ „โ „โ  โขพโฃทโฃ„โข„โฃ€โกˆโก€โ  โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโขโฃ€โฃพ โฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โข€โ ˆโ ˆโ ™โ ‘โ —โ ™โ ™โ ›โ „โ ˆโ นโ ปโขฟโกปโฃฟโ ฟโขฟโฃโก‘โขซโฃพโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‘โ โ šโฃจโฃคโฃพโฃฟโฃฟ
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WSB Buy $COCK

Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING. $COCK IS RISING TODAY. Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK. ๐Ÿ’ŽโœŠ your ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ $COCK to the ๐ŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Canadian man brofisting the local Greek population

twitchquotes: Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the casualitis. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.
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October 2014
Kripp

Iron Man

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
September 2021
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