I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My name is Van, I'm an artist
twitchquotes:
My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full ♂Master♂ and change my entire house into a dungeon... ♂Dungeon♂Master♂ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
If your girlfriend cheats on you
twitchquotes:
If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
Thanks Nivea!
twitchquotes:
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ GUYS GUYS , just used new Nivea Lotion on my donger and now it looks 10 years youger , THANKS NIVEA ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
imaqtpie
QT's stream ends, so does my life
twitchquotes:
̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\ qt's stream ends, so does my life ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\
̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\ qt's stream ends, so does my life ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world
Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.