[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'M PIICCKKLEE RIIICKK

twitchquotes: 🥒 IM PIIICKLE 🥒 RIIIIIICK!!! 😂 👌 💯 🥒 IM PIIICKLE 🥒 RIIIIIICK!!! 😂 👌 💯 🥒 IM PIIICKLE 🥒 RIIIIIICK!!! 😂 👌 💯
twitch chat
March 2018

Rick and Morty

Why are we rioting?

twitchquotes: ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ riot ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Surprised face emoji D:

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣉⣩⣤⣬⣉⣉⣉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠙⢻⣷⡆⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣴⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿ ⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻ ⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢛⣋⣉⣉⣉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼ ⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣬⣉⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⠌⠛⢛⣋⣉⣁⣸⣿⡿⠋⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⡈⠙⢿⣿⣟⣈⣉⣩⣥⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣉⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣈⡉⠉⠛⣋⣉⣉⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard

twitchquotes: listen up ok nobody even likes u the only reason i dont ddos u nto oblivion is cuz ur not even worth my bandwif u fkn fgt retard im srs if u say 1 more thing u wont even get to get out of ur seat cuz i wil KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard n shoc ur fingers so bad u will say sry but its too late for that boyo
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing