[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank

twitchquotes: Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...
twitch chat
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

Squidward

─────▄████████████▄──── ───▄▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄─── ───█░░░░█████████░░█▄── ─██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██─ ██░░█████████████░░░░██ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░█ █░░░████░█████░░░░░░░░█ █░░████████████░░░░░░░█ █░░█─██─█─██──██░░░░░░█ ▀▄░█─▀▀─█─▀▀──█░░░░░▄█▀ ─▀██▄▄▄▄█▄────█░░▄▄█▀── ─▄█░░░░░░█▄▄▄▄▀░░█───── ▄█░░░░░░█▀░░░░░░░▀▀█▄── █░░░░░░█▌░▄██████▄░░█── █░░░░░░░███████████░█── █░░░░░░░██░░█░░░██░░█── ▀█░░░░░██░░░░░░██░░█─── ─▀▀▀▀▀█░████████░░█──── ──────▀▄░░░░░░░░░█─────
August 2018

Big butt crewmate

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣻⣯⣽⣟⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡹⢁⣴⣷⣿⣿⣷⣆⣤⡀⠠⢬⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⢸⣿⡖⣄⠹⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣼⠂⢸⣿⣿⣾⠯⢟⠋⠿⣿⡿⣳⡿⣳⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⣿⢡⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣭⣯⡆⢰⣤⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣤⡈⠛⠛⠙⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣤⣤⡉⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢋⣉⣁⣈⣉⣀⣈⣉⣉⣉⣁⡐⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠇⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠛⠿⠋⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠂⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢀⣉⣩⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I love you future self!

twitchquotes: Hey youtube! HeyGuys It's me from the past! Remember when I wrote this and then it happened and now I'm watching this again on YouTube watching my message pass! I love you future self! KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing