[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
March 2021

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Am I The Asshole?

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.
December 2020

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How do you think we will conquer Ukraine

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad I'm a military strategist in Mother Russia, how do you think we will conquer Ukraine
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But then came Casualstone

twitchquotes: Know, O Chat, that before the rise of the Succubus, there was an Age undreamed of, where difficult bosses lay spread across the games - World of Warcraft, Diablo 3, Path of Exile. Hither trod Kripparrian, mightiest gamer in the land, to crush the bosses beneath his feet. But then came Casualstone.
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Hearthstone

Momo 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣰⣿⡋⡴⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡖⣄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠂⣴⡿⡃⡜⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠸⢠⠸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⢠⡿⡝⡌⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⡆⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡏⣸⣷⣳⣹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣷⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡡⠦⣄⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣶⣶⣦⡌⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠊⠄⢸⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠒⠚⢛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⢿⣿⣹⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⡶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣡⣾⣿⡕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡅⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠘⢯⣍⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing