[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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June 2021

But my heart still isn't as broken as Patron Warrior

twitchquotes: Mʏ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴏғ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ. I ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛs ɢʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴜsᴛᴏᴅʏ ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀs ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀs ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ.
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

Tanner's life continues its downward spiral

twitchquotes: After his shift at McDonald's, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, waiting for Kripp's stream to begin. As soon as Kripp's face appears, he begins one of his tirades, insulting and mocking Kripp, the happily-married, multi-millionaire video game streaming sensation. "That'll show him", Tanner mutters to himself, as his life continues its downward spiral.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Tanner from High School

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠂⠀⠀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣦⣤⣤⣤⠤⠤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣤⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡤⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⢰⡞⠀⠀⢠⠈⠛⣿⠇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⣤⣾⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣷⣤⣤⣶⣶⡿⠟⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠘⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠟⠃⠀ ⢿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢛⣿⣄⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021
xQcOW

Today is the day I copypasta

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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