[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Hi David, this is Akali's daughter

twitchquotes: Hi David, this is Akali's daughter. I noticed you have been picking my mom for your team in gym class. i have been having a really tough time since she left home, and it doesnโ€™t make it easy on me when you reroll and say "i guess we're going assasins.โ€œ I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if your mom left you to go carry an old man. Akali is just a poor single mom that is overworked to death. Why donโ€™t you try being a little more exclusive.
twitch chat
July 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ NOT PRESSING โ€œSELLโ€ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš Iโ€™LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ CANโ€™T STOP. WONโ€™T STOP. GAMESTOP. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš TOMORROW, I THINK Iโ€™LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ Iโ€™LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITโ€™S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND Iโ€™M NOT SELLING, AND Iโ€™M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Warrior vs warrior

twitchquotes: HEH, GREETINGS ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper I can take the hit ResidentSleeper Welcome to the grand tournament ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper I'M OUT OF CARDS
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

GME short squeeze

Lets dumb this down for you apes: - Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar - One ape on the market has 5 banana's - Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference. - Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed - If group of apes stay strong then price will go ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Kawaii Gun

โ€ฆ_โ€ฆ..____________________, , โ€ฆโ€ฆ/ KAWAII GUN `โ€”-___________โ€”โ€”_____] = = = = =(๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง โ€ฆ../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/ โ€ฆ..), โ€”-.(_(__) / โ€ฆ.// (..) ), โ€”โ€”โ€ โ€ฆ//___// ..//___// .//___//
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

Text-to-Speech Playing