[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Toast stares at the screen

twitchquotes: Toast stares at the screen. His vision begins to fade. "My jaws that bite, my claws that catch". This message burns into his brain. As the armor count slowly rises, Toast's sanity begins to fade. "Just another 1000 armor, then I can quit" he tells himself. His viewers are begging him to stop, it's been weeks and weeks at this point, As he finally begins to succumb to his fatigue and eye strain, he realizes this is the end. He utters one final word, as falls face down onto his desk. "...PogChamp.
twitch chat
December 2018
DisguisedToast

Hearthstone

Hey Caleb, I'm Yoshinori Kitase do you remember me

twitchquotes: Hey Caleb, I'm Yoshinori Kitase do you remember me, I'm the director of that game you really enjoy, FFVII. I'm here, sitting in my damn fcking good sofa on the Square Enix headquarter, laughing at your fcking face because you even can't finish Big Shoes category. Still remenber the last E3, the boys haved a lot fun looking your face after we don't enouncement FFVII remake. Stop be a fcking loser and speedrun that fcking Big Shoes category, damn guy.
twitch chat
May 2019
Calebhart42

Scrapper from Mr Bean

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–Œβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–„β–Œβ”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

Hardcare games like Minesweeper

twitchquotes: Kripp we are all very disappointed in you. Playing games because Blizzard will pay you? What are you? A shill now? Remember when you played hardcore games like Hearthstone, Minesweeper, or Diablo 3? Everything changed when you got a girlfriend. I'm starting to wonder if you even drink OJ anymore.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

GlitchCat

β €β €β €β €β €β£΄β ‰β‘™β ³β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£ β €β£šβ‘―β ΄β’¬β£±β‘€β € β €β €β €β €β’°β‘‡β£·β‘Œβ’²β£„β‘‘β’’β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β’ β Ύβ’‹β ”β£¨β£΄β£Ώβ£·β‘Œβ ‡β‘‡β € β €β €β €β €β’Έβ’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£„β’»β£Ώβ£·β£β ·β’€β£€β£€β‘Άβ’‹β£΄β£‘β Ÿβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β‘‡β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀ⒸⒸ⣿⑄⒁⣸⣿⣋β£₯β£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ÿβ‘β šβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β‘‡β € β’€β£ β‘€β €β Ύβ‘˜β ‹β’€β£˜β ‹β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β’­β£­β£­β£­β£β ‰β’©β£­β ‰β ‰β ‚β ™β ›β ƒβ£‡β‘€ β β €β €β’Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘€β €β’Ώβ‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£†β €β’Ώβ£‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’± β£¦β €β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β ˜β£Ώβ €β €β €β‘€β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β €β’»β‘†β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έ β’»β‘„β €β €β ˜β ›β ‰β ‚β €β ™β β €β£Όβ£§β €β €β €β ˆβ €β €β ˆβ ™β €β ˜β “β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘Ÿ ⠀⒳⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑀⣏⠀ β €β €β ›β’Άβ’°β£Άβ’’β£€β£€β£„β ²β£Άβ –β €β£™β£€β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β‘€β£€β£ β£Ύβ Ÿβ‘Œβ € β €β €β €β ˜β’„β ƒβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ —β €β Ύβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ Έβ Ÿβ£‘β£€β‘³β’¦ β €β €β €β €β €β’»β‘†β£™β‘Ώβ’·β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ’‘β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦ β €β €β €β €β €β‘Όβ’β‘Ÿβ£«β£Άβ£β‘™β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β£½β‘–β£‰β£ β£Άβ£Άβ£Œβ ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β €β €β €β’€β ”β’‘β’Žβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⠀⒠⠖⒁⣴⑿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇Ⓓ⣿⣿
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing