[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022

Raid Shadow Legends ad script

twitchquotes: RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legends™️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs.
twitch chat
November 2020

Faeria created a strategy...

twitchquotes: Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Angry emoji

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠓⠿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠞⠋⢁⡀⠤⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠠⢀⠢⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠽⠛⠃⣀⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⠤⠤⠄⠈⠀⠑⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⡁⠁⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⡿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣫⠤⠔⠚⠛⠒⠒⠚⠛⠯⠙⠢⡕⠈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡇⠘⡄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠠⢴⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠚⠦⢀⣀⣧⠤⠔⠒⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡁⢻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠄⣴⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠁⢀⠤⠒⣉⡥⠴⠖⢛⡯⣍⠉⢉⠤⢤⡀⢀⠬⣍⢉⠿⢿⣦⡀⠈⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠠⣡⢴⡟⠓⠦⡀⣰⠃⠀⠈⠳⠁⠀⠀⠻⠃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠷⠓⡀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣾⠣⡾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠀⣀⣼⣆⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢠⠤⠐⠶⠂⠐⠒⠈⢹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢾⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠄⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢰⣠⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⠴⠟⢋⡁⠾⠿⠋⠙⠻⠋⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⣠⠏⠀⡸⠀⠀⢸⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠤⣤⣀⣼⡷⠞⢁⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⣼⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⣤⣀⠀⣰⣡⣴⠖⠻⣕⠀⢺⠻⠊⠁⠀⣠⣾⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⢧⡴⠛⣆⣠⠖⢄⣀⣞⣉⣲⡾⠵⠚⠋⠉⠐⠈⠀⠉⠛⠓⠀⠀⠒⠒⠿⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣉⣩⣥⡄⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠁⠉⠀⢀⣠⣌⣷⣖⣤⣄⣀⠘⠻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣻⣿⣷⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣆⣬⣘⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣛⣿
July 2022

i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing