[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Cradle both balls

twitch chat
June 2017

KappaPride

I can't believe it's already MLK eve

πŸ’I CAN'T πŸ•Ά BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY πŸ’ƒMπŸ‘L πŸ‘K πŸ‘ πŸ—£ EVE!! TONIGHT πŸŒ› WE WILL GATHER πŸ‘ͺ WITH OUR FAMILIES❀ NOT ONLY TO PRAYπŸ™ TO MLK πŸ‘AND LET HIM KNOWπŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ WHAT GIFTS🎁 WE WOULD 😚LIKE πŸ˜™ TO RECEIVEπŸ† ON MLK DAY 🌞 BUT TO REMEMBER πŸ˜‚ THAT MLK❀ IS THE REAL REASON 🎢 FOR 🎡THE 🎢 SEASONβœ” SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER TRUE MLK FANSπŸ’― OR YOUR BROTHERS πŸ™‹ AND SISTERSπŸ™† WILL BE FOREVER OPPRESSED πŸ˜”
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

Penis

May 2021

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind β˜‘ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing