I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I miss the old Tyler, SoloQ troll Tyler
twitchquotes:
I miss the old Tyler, SoloQ troll Tyler. Not playing other ADCs Tyler, run it down mid Tyler. I hate the new Tyler, the never rude Tyler, family friendly streams Tyler, the too polite Tyler, meta slave Tyler, this is the worst Tyler. I miss the Toxic Tyler, Draven one trick Tyler, 420 burst Tyler. I gotta say, at that time I'd like to feed Tyler.
twitch chat
Tyler1
League of Legends
Kripp invites twitch chat to his wedding
twitchquotes:
★ ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸¸ . …somewhere ° ☾ ° ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ° . * :. . ¸ .☾ . ● ¸ . ★ ° . • ○ ° ★ . * . ☾ ° ¸. …in a parallel universe* ● ¸ ° ☾ °☆ . * ¸. ★ ★ ° . . . ☾ °☆ . * ● ¸ . ★°★ . * . . ¸. * ● ¸ . …KRIPP ° ☾ ★ °● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ○ ° ★. ● . ° ☾ °° . * :. . ¸ . ● ¸ * . …invites twitch chat to his wedding
twitch chat
Kripp
Among Us is love, Among Us is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life."
My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold.
I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees.
I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love.
My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.
Among Us / Amogus
NSFW
Canadian man brofisting the local Greek population
twitchquotes:
Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the casualitis. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.
twitch chat
Kripp
I smoke the weed everyday
twitchquotes:
I smoke the weed everyday, I too am a Marijuana consumer. 420 is my favourite number. By the way, did I mention that I hit that kush good. I'm so high right now, becuase of all the weed I smoke. 420 Blaze it fam, life is good.
twitch chat