I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
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Get Jousted
twitchquotes:
╰༼.◕ヮ◕.༽つ¤=[]———— Get Jousted
twitch chat
Reynad
Hearthstone
I fucked the impostor from the hitgame Among Us in my dreams
I fucked the impostor from the hitgame Among Us in my dreams. He was very sus. I can’t stop thinking about his big red schlong destroying my anus until it’s as red as the impostor from the hitgame Among Us. I hope I can ever meet him. I would stroke his chest, give him a big slap on his butt that was hidden behind that hot latex astronaut suit. I want him in my ass, I want him to fill my twitching butthole with everything he got. This is how my wet dreams end every single day, I can’t stop thinking about the impostor of the hitgame Among Us.
Among Us / Amogus
PunOko
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣅⠀⠈⢧⠀⠈⠛⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡶⠟⠀⠀⣈⠓⢤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣀⣴⠶⠿⠿⢷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠶⠛⠃⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠟⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿
⣿⠏⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣡⣄⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿
⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠛⢛⣲⣶⣿⣷⣉⠉⢉⣥⡄⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣿
⡇⢠⡆⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡅⠀⠀⡄⠠⢸⣿
⣧⠸⣇⠀⠀⠘⣤⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠀⠀⢰⠀⢸⣿
⣿⣷⣽⣦⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣶⠾⢟⣥⣾⣿⣧⠀⠂⢀⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠒⢻⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣀⣾⣿⣿
Weebs
Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards
twitchquotes:
Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
Classic
Hearthstone
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?
twitchquotes:
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
Kripp