I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants
Welcome back to Watchmojo.com, where we tell you our Top 5 picks for why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants.
Pornhub is a website for watching stuff that your parents don't like. However, this concept may be based on an episode of the animated series Spongebob Squarepants where the titular main character is watching a video of a flesh-colored anenome dancing, while Gary walks in, and so Spongebob quickly grabs the television's remote and changes the channel immediately.
Plankton has once said a phrase while speaking about Spongebob, which is "You will be mine". Many fans suggest that Spongebob (who can't be gay because he is fucking genderless smh) is a homosexual, and while saying this he is referring to his brain, which is, in texture, much like a woman's reproductive organs.
In the episode of the Spongebob Squarepants series "Face Freeze", one scene shows Spongebob and Patrick's head looking like male and female external genitalia, and later they sleep in the same tent. Later on, Sandy pulls out her dirty, sharp hands and rubs on Spongebob's face, which may have inspired most videos in Pornhub's "lesbian" category. If you count the scene beforehand, this may also be one of the heterosexual "blowjobs".
Another scene of Plankton includes him speaking about the Krabby Patty's secret sauce, he utters, while sweating behind iron bars and inside Spongebob's head, "yes, Yes, YES! COME TO PAPA!". Another one, from the movie, is when he says "Daddy yes!". These may have inspired either BDSM, incest porn, or some hentai. Also, Patrick licks his ass.
Many Pornhub videos have used fake Spongebobs as character. Sometimes gay, straight, or even hentai. Especially a video where the opening is horrendously remade version of the Spongebob Squarepants intro theme, and the main character is a black man with a yellow painted face, who decides to refer to himself as "Spongeknob Squarenuts".
And now, time for our honorable mentions!!!!!
a) in the season 5 episode, "Spy Buddies", Patrick constantly uses his butt laser. This inspired Squirting.
b) Squidward mentions that Mr. Krabs' "weiner thing" will "blow up in his face. This enspired Cumming.
c) Squidward has also used a vacuum cleaner to suck on his penis. This inspired Vibrators and Fleshlights.
d) Spongebob uses both animation and live action in episodes, much like Pornhub has live-action and hentai.
WHO let the dogs out
twitchquotes:
BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
twitch chat
Coronavirus
COVID
Menacing
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠿⣫⣥⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠾⢿⢟⣵⣾⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⡇⠙⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⢩⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⡿⣫⣾⠆⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣠⣎⣠⣴⣶⠎⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠿⠛⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠉⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Tiffany's chandelier
twitchquotes:
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
