[Copypasta] Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

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gamer head: on knuckles: cracked gaming goggles: on arms: stretched gamer girl pee: drinked girlfriend: none gay best friend: invited wife: beaten wife: cheated on daughter: abandoned child: destroyed your mom: fucked rockets: launched funding: secured anime: loved Japan: nuked HIV: positive blood: donated American genocide: denied milf: hunted milfs: lewded babies: yeeted emerald splash: deflated society: segregated Israel: destroyed heroin: shot milk: consumed mother: donuted father: robbed identity: hidden traitor: kakyoined Italian drug trade: monopolized masters: awaken Caeser: killed left wing: destroyed lib: owned hog: cranked pants: shid bottom: text top: text Hotel: Trivago Hotel: Mario Duke: Nukem cer: armic balls: crushed balls: ligma the imposter: sus sussy: balls Gucci: gang Delivery: Digiorno Peterbilt: gassed Half: life pog: gers Vaporeon: cool :) edit: spelling
August 2021

Kripp commits sudoku over spilled OJ

twitchquotes: The Kripp goes to grocery store. He sees the OJ and yells : Well met ! An old lady next to him get so startled she drops her OJ. Kripp commits sudoku, overcome by grief. RIP in piece Kripp.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Kripp's the best arena player in the world

twitchquotes: All you idiots pretend like Kripp misplays, but really you know he's the best arena player in the world and that he hasn't made a misplay in the last 6 months, he just gets super unlucky you ignorant fools. You guys are so dumb that you'll probably copy and paste this message too, you morons.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Logan Paul apology script

Dear Internet, Where do I begin... Let's start with this -I'm sorry. This is a first for me. I've never faced criticism like this before, because I've never made a mistake like this before. I'm surrounded by good people and believe I make good decisions, but I'm still a human being. I can be wrong. I didn't do it for views. I get views. I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity. That's never the intention. I intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention and while I thought "if this video saves just ONE life, it'll be worth it," I was misguided by shock and awe, as portrayed in the video. I still am. I do this sh*t every day. I've made a 15 minute TV show EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 460+ days. One may understand that it's easy to get caught up in the moment without fully weighing the possible ramifications. I'm often reminded of how big of a reach I truly have & with great power comes great responsibility... for the first time in my life I'm regretful to say I handled that power incorrectly. It won't happen again. I love everyone. I believe in people. I'm out here. Peace #Logang4Life
March 2021

Kripp after the power outage on December 21, 2013

twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing