[Copypasta] A game? You think getting the juice is a game?

twitchquotes: A game? You think getting the juice is a game? The juice is a lifestlye. A way of being. The juice encapsulates all you are and consumes. Taking one look at you I can tell you have never come near the juice. Maybe think about what you say before you try talking to me again, pussy. LUL
twitch chat
May 2021
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A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say β€œiS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚OMG πŸ˜‚ you’re so FUNNY 🀣 🀣 so quirky πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ πŸ€ͺ so different 🀩absolute crackhead energy πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ comedic genius🧠 πŸ˜‚ I literally can’t ❌ breathe 😭 i’m crying dude 😭😭 that was so hilarious πŸ˜† u really got the whole squad laughing πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦ high IQ comedy 🧠🧠 how’d you come up with that πŸ§πŸ˜‚ really original work πŸ˜‚ never seen πŸ™ˆ or heard πŸ™‰ anything like that before πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ great πŸ‘ job πŸ‘πŸ‘ keep up the funnies πŸ‘‘πŸ€£πŸ‘‘ i love you πŸ’• 😘 you’re my inspiration 🀩🀩🀩 if only i were as funny πŸ˜„ or smart πŸ€“ or cool 😎 as you πŸ˜” but its whatever I’ll continue to watch πŸ‘πŸ‘„πŸ‘ your content πŸŽ₯🀳 because it ❌NEVER EVER❌ fails to make me laugh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thank you πŸ™ for existing πŸ˜‡ and doing what you do ❀️❀️
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

YOLO

twitchquotes: Yα΅’α΅˜ OαΆ°Λ‘ΚΈ Lᢀᡛᡉ OαΆ°αΆœα΅‰
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad
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