[Copypasta] P*****b "Finna Nut" button

Hello. I'm a big fan of P*****b. Thank you for everything you do. So you guys should have a "Finna Nut" button where somewhere on the side near the video you press it when you're about to e*******e, and it takes you to the point of the video where the guy (or girl or person if solo scene) is about to cum. 99% of the time I find myself enjoying a video, then I'm about to burst but I have to take some pleasure of by using my ot her hand to click up to where the cumshot is and it's just so inconvenient. Instead of a button that takes you directly to the cumshot so you can cum along with them.
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper. Ever since I was a child I dreamed of stalking people in the dead of the night, making an erotic hissing noise, and then spewing my particles all over them. People say to me that a person being a monster in a dying Swedish pixel game is impossible and I’m more autistic than a Fortnite default, but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a doctor fill me with gunpowder and implementing green and black pigments into my skin. From now on I want you guys to call me "Creepus Explodus” and respect my right to appear on retarded children's backpacks and sweaters. If you can’t accept me you’re a mob-phobe and need to check your entity privilege. Thank you all for being so understanding.
twitch chat
March 2019

I sexually Identify as

My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks it’s a job

my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”. That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
November 2021

Reddit

MODS

HEY krIpP its BeN BRoDe HerE

twitchquotes: SeemsGood HEY krIpP its BeN BRoDe HerE AnD We HEre at bliZZard All WhAt to THank yOU FoR MakIáng ouR ChILDarEns GaMe POpular by STAYING PJSalt ThaT is Why I Have CoMpIlEd a TeaM of ProGramers To mAke Sure YOUr OPo nENTS Are AlwayS LuCkier ThAn YOu in Arena . ThEse ProGramers Will Make sure to kEEp YoU salty so we can keEp GeTting PAychecks OF My ChildrenS Game SeemsGood
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I want to be Kripp's knee

twitchquotes: When I see Kripp's knee, I want to lick the knee. I want to live in the knee. I want to be the knee. I want to be the knee free. Please no copy pasterino dongerino pooperino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing