[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace youโ€™ve been wielding for the last months. Itโ€™ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and youโ€™ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonightโ€™s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but youโ€™re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Pikachu eyes

โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ–„โ–ˆ โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ–„โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ™€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ™‚โ™€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ โ–ˆ โ™‚โ™€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ™€โ™‚โ™€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ™€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ™‚โ™€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ™€โ™‚โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„
ascii art
September 2018

Pokemon

Kripp's mods put Stalin to shame

twitchquotes: โ˜ญ โ˜ญ โ˜ญ โ˜ญ Nแดsแด›ส€แดแด สแด€ Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, Tสœษชs ษชs Cแดแดส€แด€แด…แด‡ Sแด›แด€สŸษชษด แด„แด€สŸสŸษชษดษข า“ส€แดแด 1952. I แด›สœแดแดœษขสœแด› I แดกแด€s แด…แดษชษดษข แดกแด‡สŸสŸ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส Gส€แด‡แด€แด› Pแดœส€ษขแด‡, ส™แดœแด› สแดแดœส€ แดแดแด…s แด˜แดœแด› แดแด‡ แด›แด sสœแด€แดแด‡. I'แด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด›แด ส€แด‡แด„ส€แดœษชแด› แด›สœแด‡แด แด›แด ส€แดœษด แดส ษขแดœสŸแด€ษขs. Bแด‡แด›แด›แด‡ส€ Rแด‡แด… แด›สœแด€ษด Dแด‡แด€แด… โ˜ญ โ˜ญโ˜ญ โ˜ญ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

It seems you tathered Frump

twitchquotes: Finally, the Kripp thinks, he will be a Papparrian. "I will raise it perfectly, there'll be nothing he can't do it. What a gift!" But doctor says he has bad news. Kripp is scared. He follows. Rania is holding something covered in blankets and crying. Kripp removes the blanket and looks. Trump smirks, "It seems you tathered Frump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

SAVE THE INTERNET

twitchquotes: "SAVE THE INTERNET" refers to the imminent removal of net neutrality, which requires Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to treat the provision of internet service as a UTILITY not a LUXURY, thereby requiring them to provide it FAIRLY to EVERYONE, and not just people/businesses who pay premiums to receive the same service as before. It also restricts them from unfairly throttling speeds and access to specific websites. If net neutrality is abolished, Twitch will be inaccessible to most Americans.
twitch chat
July 2017
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