[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hey, Forsen Vladimir Putin here

twitchquotes: Hey,Forsen Vladimir Putin here. Just wanted to say that you are the best Russian streamer. Motherland proud of you,boy! You are drinking very nice aswell. Just call me and no riots
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

I think Zarya smells like dandelions

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this.
twitch chat
December 2016

Overwatch

Asmongoldā€™s Defence for Brony Accusation

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
April 2022
Asmongold

S T A Y W O K E

twitchquotes: šŸ‘šŸ‘ƒšŸ‘ S T A Y W O K E
twitch chat
April 2017

You think itā€™s funny to take screenshots of peopleā€™s NFTs, huh?

You think itā€™s funny to take screenshots of peopleā€™s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someoneā€™s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. Youā€™re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I donā€™t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didnā€™t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesnā€™t lie. Even if you try to save it, itā€™s my property. Youā€™re just angry that you couldnā€™t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldnā€™t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. Youā€™re just mad you donā€™t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, youā€™ll be hearing from my lawyers.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

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