[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

This message adds zero value to your life

twitchquotes: This message adds zero value to your life. I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I enjoyed typing it out. If you are still reading this, I would just like to tell you that you are wasting your time. If you think anything positive will come out of this final sentence, you are mistaken
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

RNGesus pounds Reynad's sweet, supple orifice relentlessly

twitchquotes: Hello fair maiden Reynad, this is the valiant knight Sir Coppus Pastaronus. I have come to rescue you from the mystical Tower of Salt, where the cruel innkeeper RNGesus has pounded your sweet, supple orifice relentlessly to the beat of Lord Kappa Please no paste.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

cyrSwag

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣻⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠖⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⡶⠦⣤⣄⠠⣤⣨⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠁⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣶⡄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣯⣀⣀⣀⣴⣵⣎⣻⣿⣿⣟⠁⠄⡐⠲⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡁⣟⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡆⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡻⣷⡆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣽⣿⣶⣆⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⢸⣿⡏⠿⣿⣿⢫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠐⠛⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡁⠬⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠈⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⡀⠈⠿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠟⠒⠛⠛⠿⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣻⣿⣽⠏⠄⠈⣿⣥⡀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠘⠃⠄⠄⠄⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀ ⠉⣈⡀⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣾⣷⣦⣀⣀⢀⢀⣀⡀⢀⣿⣿⡿⢿⣁⠄⠄⣠⣠⣿⣯ ⡈⣛⣛⣄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⡾⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2020
cyr

Saying C9 at the end of every round

twitchquotes: Hi guys HeyGuys I'm one of the people who say C9 at the end of every round HeyGuys I admit we know what a C9 is but it's just funny to say all the time <3 That's all (^:
twitch chat
September 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

haven’t done assassins in a while

twitchquotes: "alright, locket I guess” ResidentSleeper “haven’t done assassins in a while” ResidentSleeper “guess I’ll pick up this akali” ResidentSleeper “oh look, 6 assassins” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing