[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Billy the Puppet (from Saw)

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–โ– โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
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September 2021

I just spotted an inconsistency

twitchquotes: Wait a minute. I just spotted an inconsistency. Could this be the work of the CIA? Look closely... below the stream. "10,000 viewers". What the heck? There's only 7 million people in the world, how could there possibly be 10 million viewers right now?
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November 2014
Kripp

PogChamp

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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November 2014

Trollge face v2

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โ žโ ‰โข‰โ ฉโขโก™โ ›โ ‹โฃ‰โ ‰โ โข‰โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃ‰โ ฉโข‰โ ‰โ ›โ ฒโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โกดโ โ €โ ‚โก โ ‘โ €โ €โ €โ ‚โ €โ €โ €โ €โ  โ €โ €โ โ โขŠโ €โ „โ ˆโขฆโ €โ €โ € โ €โฃ โกพโ โ €โ €โ „โฃดโกชโ ฝโฃฟโก“โขฆโ €โ €โก€โ €โฃ โข–โฃปโฃฟโฃ’โฃฆโ €โก€โข€โฃˆโขฆโก€โ € โฃฐโ ‘โขฐโ ‹โขฉโก™โ ’โ ฆโ –โ ‹โ €โ ˆโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ €โ ˜โ ฆโ คโ ดโ ’โกŸโ ฒโกŒโ ›โฃ† โขนโกฐโกธโ ˆโขปโฃˆโ “โกฆโขคโฃ€โก€โขพโ ฉโ คโ €โ €โ คโ Œโกณโ โฃ’โฃ โฃคโ –โข‹โกŸโ ’โกโก„โกŸ โ €โ ™โข†โ €โ €โ ปโก™โกฟโขฆโฃ„โฃนโ ™โ ’โขฒโ ฆโ ดโก–โ ’โ šโฃโฃโฃคโฃพโขšโกโ โ €โฃจโ žโ € โ €โ €โ ˆโขงโ €โ €โ ™โขงโก€โ ˆโกŸโ ›โ ทโกพโฃถโฃพโฃทโ พโ ›โขปโ ‰โข€โกฝโ ‹โ €โ €โฃฐโ ƒโ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‘โขคโก โข‚โ Œโก›โ ฆโ คโฃ„โฃ‡โฃ€โฃ€โฃธโฃ€โกคโ ผโ šโก‰โข„โ  โฃ โ žโ โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ “โ ฎโฃ”โกโ ฆโ €โฃคโ คโ คโฃคโ „โ ฐโ Œโฃ‚โกฌโ –โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ’โ คโขคโฃ€โฃ€โกคโ ดโ ’โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
ascii art
July 2021

Anyone here frawum arizona?

twitchquotes: Anyone here frawum arizona ? KKona Ay recently done caught my ferst alligataw KKona gosh darn it. that there thing done had ovuurr 3 meters in lenght KKona gawd damn rascal kkona
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April 2020
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