[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?

So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners). So, Reddit. AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

NFTs

Why are you rank 9?

twitchquotes: ┌| ◔ ▃ ◔ |┐ UH KRIPP..... why are you rank 9? ┌| ◔ ▃ ◔ |┐
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Scary Reddit alien

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⢀⣄⣤⣀⡀⠄⢼⣿⣿⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠙⠉⠄⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠄⠘⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⢀⣀⣤⣤⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣤⣤⣀⡀⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿ ⡏⠄⣴⣾⠓⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠹⣿⣦⠄⠈ ⡇⠐⢿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⠩⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠍⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⡿⠃⠄ ⣿⡄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⣅⣵⣔⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣢⣑⣐⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⡇⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⢿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠄⠝⣞⠯⣟⡿⣼⠫⡶⠸⠖⠃⠛⠢⠆⠖⢭⢫⣾⣻⣝⢷⠛⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠈⠫⡫⡟⣿⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣯⣟⢗⠝⠁⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠈⢫⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢸⣿⡳⠅⠁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠓⣿⡤⡘⠰⠰⢘⣠⣿⠇⠅⠠⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢀⠑⠝⢽⣙⣘⠵⠏⠃⡀⢡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Bitcoin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧⠀ ⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣥⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠘⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2021

Kripp will come in your room tonight

twitchquotes: hello my name is Kripp, i died to a top deck 10 rounds ago. unless u send this to copy and paste this 10 times, i will come in your room tonight and whine at you. i look like a 35 year old vegan without any luck. i will show up every night you have seven min to post it or else.
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing