[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

i play fortnite everyday, all day

twitchquotes: i play fortnite everyday, all day. without it, i wouldn’t be who i am today. fortnite is by far the best game ever in existence. if you don’t play it, then your obviously some broke, stupid piece of shit who doesn’t have a life. i am level 100 and have bought all the skins available at the moment. stop making fun of fortnite you assholes. i bet that you don’t even have a good skin or pickaxe you sad little cunt. you need to step your game the fuck up or else ill block you on every social media app my parents will allow me to have.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here

twitchquotes: ◥█̆◤ Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here. I would just like to ask if you would build a totemic might deck where you use your totem and make it mighty for 0 mana. Thanks!◥█̆◤
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I’M NOT BEGGING FOR AN ALL ACCESS PASS

twitchquotes: “I’M NOT BEGGING FOR AN ALL ACCESS PASS. I’M SIMPLY ASKING MULTIPLE STRANGERS MANY TIMES TO SPEND $15 ON ME” LUL
twitch chat
May 2019
OverwatchLeague

Anime girl 12

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠖⠚⢉⣩⣭⡭⠛⠓⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⢀⡴⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠁⣠⠋⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣹⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠃⢀⣇⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡑⢄⡀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⢻⡟⡻⢶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠟⡳⢿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⣸⠀⢸⠃⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠈⣿⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⡏⠀⣼⠀⢳⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣀⣀⠔⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀ ⠀⢸⠃⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢶⡇⠀⠀⢰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⢰⠇⡄⠀⠀⠀⡿⢣⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⡞⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀ ⣸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠤⠶⠶⠾⠤⠄⢸⠀⡀⠸⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⡀⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡌⣵⡀⢳⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀ ⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠮⢧⣀⣻⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧ ⣇⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡎⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⢻⠀⠈⠰⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠘⢮⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⡆⠀⠀⠇⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣄⡀⢢⡀
April 2020

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing