[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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If Biden wins, I'm moving to Alaska

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Are you going to pay for another pizza?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
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If my Bitcoin and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: If my Bitcoin💲💰 and my girl😍👰 both drowning😱🌊 and I could only save one😤😬 Catch me HODL'ing at my girls funeral😔👻🌹 Cuz its To The Moon or Nothing, kiddo 💰💯🔥😎📈💲
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January 2018

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⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠸⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣠⠠⠄⠄⠸⣽⣿⣷⠄⠄⢀⣴⡆⠄⢀⡀⠄⢀⣤⣔⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⣼⣿⣦⢶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣜⣿⣿⣟⣿⣣⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣾⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣐⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠑⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⡧⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣳⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠏⠍⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿
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COPIUM 40 liters

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⣿⣟⣛⣃⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣶⠿⢿⣆⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀ COPIUM ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇40Liters ⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⡀⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing