[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I have to print out chat in order to read it

twitchquotes: Hey guys, my monitor isn't working. I have to print out chat in order to read it. The paper and ink are really expensive, so please don't spam! Thank you.
twitch chat
September 2018

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DUST TEST IF YOU TOUCH THE BUTTON

twitchquotes: DUST TEST 🔴 IF YOU TOUCH THE BUTTON , GO TO PRESS THE BUTTON ⎝ monkaS
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June 2017
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Clash Royale chicken emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠛⡲⠤⣀⢰⠋⠉⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠒⠛⠛⡶⠳⠇⠀⠑⣹⠀⠀⡰⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⡔⠑⢄⡠⠐⠒⠣⢤⠊⠑⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢧⣀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⢀⣈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠋⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠠⣀⣀⡀⠔⡁⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠲⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀
November 2021

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Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit ✔ already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔ We're actually scaling ✔ last loss ✔ it's a fast 9 ✔ going eif
July 2022
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Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing