[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Reynad please give pube-styling tips

twitchquotes: Hey reynad, ever since I listened to your tips my hair has never been better! But now I need pube-styling tips. Do you trim or straighten it? I was thinking an Abe Lincoln look. what do you think?
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

We don’t have any words

twitchquotes: We don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them. We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – we get it. This isn’t the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
twitch chat
April 2019

YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070

twitchquotes: Did You Know? YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070. The native Dongers sang it to please their God. One day they didn't sing YAYO, a NACHO TORPEDO destroyed their whole culture. Ripperino Dongerino, all you knew was YAYO..
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

End Stream

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⡀⣠⠀⠀⣠⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⢠⣿⡇⢀⣿⠀⣿⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠷⠶⠀⣼⠛⣧⣸⡇⢸⡏⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⠁⣰⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⠷⠶⠂⠸⠃⠀⠘⠃⠘⠿⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣠⣤⣤⣀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⣠⡀ ⠀⢠⡟⠁⣿⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⢠⡟⠈⣿⠂⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⣰⢿⡇⠀⣼⣷⠀⣰⣿⠁ ⠀⠘⠷⣦⡀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⣼⣧⡴⠏⢀⣿⠶⠶⠀⣰⠏⢸⡇⢠⡿⣿⣴⢿⡏⠀ ⢠⡆⠀⣼⠇⠀⣼⠃⠀⢠⡿⠸⣧⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⣰⠟⠛⣻⡇⣼⠇⠿⠃⣿⠁⠀ ⠈⠷⠾⠋⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠸⠃⠀⠿⠀⠿⠶⠶⠰⠟⠀⠀⠻⠀⠟⠀⠀⠘⠏⠀⠀
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing