[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Ben Brode and Firelands Portal

twitchquotes: Ben Brode here! We are happy to announce we have finally solved an issue that has plagued Hearthstone since beta. Despite our best efforts with cards like Flamecannon and Ethereal Conjurer, Mage was still able to lose games in Arena. With the Old Gods we introduced Faceless Summoner, and yet mage's average arena winrate was still only 75%. With the introduction of Firelands Portal, we hope to finally make Mage a viable arena class. 4Head
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

DONGER TO ME

twitchquotes: ⊹⋛⋋( ຈل͜ຈ )⋌⋚⊹ DONGER TO ME, SQWAAK ⊹⋛⋋( ຈل͜ຈ )⋌⋚⊹
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

HAND OVER THE MEMES

twitchquotes: HAND OVER THE MEMES (⌐■_■)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ \ BibleThump / I'M CLEAN ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

3Head emote v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠄⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠐⠀⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣍⣩⣉⣙⡻⢿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠼⠟⠋⢉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⡛⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠁⠒⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡇⠘⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠋⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⢠⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⡇⠀⡿⠃⣴⣶⣿⠛⠋⠉⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⣿⣶⣦⠀⠙⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⠀⠁⠀⠈⢻⣿⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡤⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

I CTRL V THINGS INTO CHAT BECAUSE I AM A MINDLESS RETARD

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ɪ ᴄᴛʀʟ ᴠ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴅʟᴇss ʀᴇᴛᴀʀᴅ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing