I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hello Kripp this is Saul Goodman
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴀᴜʟ ɢᴏᴏᴅᴍᴀɴ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ɪʟʟᴇɢᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ʙᴀsᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ ɢʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀs ᴍʏ ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ғɪʟᴛʜʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴜsᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hey Nairo this is your cat
twitchquotes:
Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub 
twitch chat
NairoMK
sodaG
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⠒⢄⡀⠄⠄⢹⣄⣇⣀⣸⣷⣄⣦⠈⡿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣙⡦⠒⠹⠄⠇⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠘⣀⣠⡞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠞⠛⠉⠉⠋⠄⠿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀
⠄⠄⣴⠟⠉⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠿⠉⠁⢀⣀⠴⠄⡸
⠄⢰⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠄⠄⢀⣴⠞⢻⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠁⠄⠄⡰⠁
⠄⠄⡻⣿⣿⣿⠿⡡⠃⠄⠄⣼⣇⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠊⠄⠄
⢀⠎⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢠⣿⡇⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⡜⠄⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠯⠭⠚⠁⠄⠄⠛⣣⣦⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⢇⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⣿⣯⡟⣾⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠙⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠔⠒⠒⠋⣽⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠉⠒⠤⢄⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⡄⢰⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
sodapoppin
Reddit and Twitter changed their logos
twitchquotes:
My entire life I’ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didn’t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now I’m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.
twitch chat
PepeLaughYou
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⣿⣯⣼⣿⡿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄
⠄⢠⣿⢿⡫⢞⣫⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣭⡲⣝⣟⡥⣚⣭⣥⣶⣶⣬⣭⣟⡳⣼⣻⣧⡀
⠄⣿⠛⣮⠗⠉⠁⠐⠶⠄⠰⠶⠭⢉⣿⣿⣃⠉⠵⠶⠄⠰⠖⠂⠉⠓⢮⣟⠻⡇
⢸⣿⣿⣁⣰⣿⡭⠵⠶⠟⣛⣉⠴⠿⣣⣇⡿⠶⣍⣑⠻⠷⠾⢭⣤⣷⣈⣹⣿⡇
⠄⠻⣿⣟⣻⢯⣍⣛⣛⣿⢭⣐⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣗⣨⢿⣛⣛⣛⣭⡿⣟⣿⡿⠄
⠄⠄⣀⣍⡛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⠄⠄
⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣬⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣭⣶⣿⣦⠄
⠄⣿⡈⠿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣄⣀⣐⡲⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⠉⣿⢻⣿⣿⠄
⢀⣈⣤⣾⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⡭⠭⠤⡘⠸⢸⠃⣿⡇⣿⡇⡿⢇⠜⣠⢧⠞⣽⣿⠄
⣾⡿⢹⣿⡿⠉⣿⣿⡟⡜⣢⣭⡒⢉⢠⢸⡄⣭⡅⠗⣢⠖⣡⡞⣥⣾⣾⠟⠁⠄
⣿⡇⣾⣿⡇⣴⣿⣿⣇⢶⣿⡷⠚⣬⣬⣬⣷⣶⡾⢛⣽⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄
⢟⡇⠿⠿⠇⣛⣭⣭⣍⢰⢆⣺⢨⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠈⠛⠈⠿⠿⣙⣭⣥⣤⣤⣴⣾⡇⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄