[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi. Whatever is going on in your kokoro right now, please know that you are kawaii and your story is not a filler. You are loved (◕‿◕✿) KonCha
twitch chat
March 2018

Weebs

CLG needs the DongerKing

twitchquotes: Dear Qtpie. This is MonteCristo. I just want to tell you that we would love to have you on CLG as our new top laner. You have the best ognTSMrototations that I have ever seen and even better mechanicanics than Faker. And your hair will give CLG new strength to win worlds. Please call me. CLG needs the DongerKing.
twitch chat
April 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

AYAYA 3

⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇⡇⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿ ⡟⢸⣿⣿⣭⣭⡭⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣧⣇⠇⢸⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠘⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣻⡿⣿⣿⡟⣿⢸⣿⣿⠇⡆⣝⠿⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⢣⢾⣾⣷⣾⣽⣻⣿⣇⣿⣿⣧⣿⢸⣿⣿⡆⢸⣹⣿⣆⢥⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣛⡓⣉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠿⣹⡏⣿⣿⣧⢸⣧⣿⣿⣨⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⠸⣷⣹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣯⣳⣿⣭⣽⢼⣿⣜⣿⣇⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣿ ⠄⢻⣷⣿⡄⢈⠿⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠲⢯⣿⣒⡾⣼⣷⡹⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿ ⡄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣽⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠳⠽⠿⢠⣿⣿ ⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢄⣹⡿⠃⠄⠄⣰⠎⡈⣾⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣖⣄⣴⣯⣾⢷⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠯⠊⠙⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣴⢾⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢽⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣛⣻⠿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃ ⣿⣿⣿⡎⣷⣽⠻⣇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣵⣿⣟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠱⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⢮⣚⡛⠒⠛⢛⣋⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⠿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣺⢿
October 2018

Weebs

Creepy Clown

⣼⡟⠋⣀⣼⣾⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡘⢹⠄ ⡟⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣇ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄ ⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⠄ ⡄⢸⣯⣥⡴⠒⢊⡁ ⭕ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁ ⭕ ⣆⠈⣁⣈⣿⣿⡴ ⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣆⣤⣾⣬⣭⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖⣀⣀⠄⣼⠄ ⢀⠘⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣴⣿⠏⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄⣼⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⠃⣰⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⣿⠏⣰⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠿⣝⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⠿⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿
March 2019

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY START THE EMERGENCY HELICOPTERS HEY BUILD THE HELICOPTERS, THROW BORON INTO THE REACTOR AND STOP THE DISASTER THE NEW CHERNOBYL COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY
December 2020

Lego City

Text-to-Speech Playing