[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Copypasta-free chat experience

twitchquotes: Attention viewers, we at TwitchTV imGlitch are moving to a copyThis VoteNay pastaThat copypasta-free chat experience. We feel that this will improve the overall TwitchTV imGlitch experience for all users. Therefore, we have disabled the use of the ctrl-v combo. Thank you for your understanding, and have a nice day. Jebaited
twitch chat
September 2016

Momo

⣿⣿⣿⡉⢀⣾⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⡗⠄⣼⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠄ ⣿⡻⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄ ⠷⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣒⣲⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠎⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡲⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Goomba

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄██▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░█░▀██░░░░░░░░░░██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄██▄░░░░░░▄██▄░░░█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀──▀█▄░░░░▄█▀──▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀───▄─██░░██─▄───▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░█───███─█░░█─███───█░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░░█────▀──█░░█──▀────█░░░░░▀▄░░░ ░▄▀░░░░░░░█──────█░░░░█──────█░░░░░░░▀▄░ █░░░░░▄░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░▄░░░░░█ █░░░░░▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▐░░░░░█ █░░░░▐▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▌░░░░█ █░░░░▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░░█ ░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░ ░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
September 2021

Mike Ehrmantraut from Breaking Bad

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢠ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣻⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣽⣾⣻⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⡿⠿⠟⠛⣟⣿⣽⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠍⠈⠀⠁⣴⡆⠀⠀⠠⢭⣮⣿⡶⠀⠀ ⠀⡴⠲⣦⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣩⣨⣀⡄⣐⣾⣿⣿⣇⠠⣷⣶⣿⣿⡠⠁⠀ ⠀⠃⢀⡄⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⢿⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡟⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠣⠧⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢸⣿⠿⠿⠿⣧⠙⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠼⣒⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣬⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣷⡈⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠗⠼⠖⠒⠔⠉⠉⠻⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⣤⡄⠸⣰⣾⡒⣷⣴⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⢸⡗⡄⠘⠭⣭⣷⣿⣮⣠⣌⣫⣿⣷⣿⣿⠃⠀⠈⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⣿⣾⣷⣦⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⠞⣹⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⠀⠘⢻⡿⢿⣋⣤⣤⠌⠉⠛⠛⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀
May 2022

Pasta copied, memes are dank. Reynad's streaming! Losing ranks!

twitchquotes: (✿ ◕‿◕) Pasta copied, memes are dank. Reynad's streaming! Losing ranks! (✿ ◕‿◕)
twitch chat
July 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing