[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I am a TSLA bull

twitchquotes: If TSLA has million number of bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has ten bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has no bulls, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is against TSLA, I am against the world. I love TSLA till my last breath.
twitch chat
July 2020

Donger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–’β–„β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022

Four Asians streamed together in harmony...

twitchquotes: (`.Β΄) Trump. (`.Β΄) Amaz. (`.Β΄) MaSsan. (`.Β΄) Hafu. A few months ago the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when ( ͝° ΝœΚ–Ν‘Β°) Forsen's Snus Brotherhood attacked. Only (β—‰Ω„ΝŸβ—‰) Reynad, master of the Salt could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most - he was too busy complaining on stream. ( Ν Β°Ω„ΝŸ Ν Β°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness

twitchquotes: Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness: we want you to know you are forever banned from our facilities. We understand you take your workout seriously, but what you and your "friends" did in the showers had no cardiovascular value. I know you said you were "working each others glutes", but we both know that's a lie. What you did with the curl bar was disgusting, and our staff is STILL trying to scrub lubricant and bodily fluids off the ceiling. We have added a "Caleb Alarm", don't return.
twitch chat
January 2020
Calebhart42

KappaPride

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