I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
nl_kripp this is le reddit army!
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@nl_kripp this is le reddit army! Please cease streaming or be prepared to get downvoted!! If you do not IMMEDIATELY stop streaming I'm going to meme you so hard that you're fedora falls off. I bet you did nazi see that coming. Nailed it, you see what I did there? DO NOT COPY PASTE THIS! Good day sir!
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Kripp
I, an atheist, accidentally said โoh my g*dโ instead of โoh my scienceโ
I, an atheist, accidentally said โoh my g*dโ instead of โoh my scienceโ
You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the โgโ word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I donโt like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say โoh my g*dโ instead of โoh my scienceโ. Please guys it wasnโt me, I didnโt mean it. Iโm very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if Iโm secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated.
Best regards,
-an atheist(?)
I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral
Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Among Us / Amogus
Bowsette copypasta
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Hey Kripp! I want to tell you a secret
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Kripp