I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Trollge / TrollDespair emote
⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄
⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀
⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⢿⣽⢿⡏
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⢹⡿⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁⢁⣈⣄⢐⠃⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Hungrybox at a grocery store
I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
Hungrybox
Super Smash Bros
What is a plebian?
twitchquotes:
Plebian = Actually defined as a member of a despised social class, a commoner, a member of the plebs of ancient Rome. Also low-born, undisinguished, vulgar, and my personal favourite: vulgar-looking
twitch chat
Trick2g
plebs vs subs
I love the McChicken
For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.
One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".
Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.
I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
bri'ish accent
stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
chewsday: It's chewsday innit?
BLM: Black lives ma-a
spiderman: peta paka
ffs: fuh funk saek
ROIGHT wots oll dis den
Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen
fuck you: funk yew
sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube
you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf
you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king
math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!?
i saw a film: I soar a film
not botherd: I'm not movered
harry potter: arry pah uh
my son is now foh yes old
nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht
mtdew: mointain jew