[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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January 2015
Reynad

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

Pepega

⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠁⠁⣠⣀⣀⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠙⢿⣯⣠⣶⣦⣤⣤⣌⣛⠻⢇⣠⣤⣤⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⢉⡤⢤⣤⣤⡍⠛⢡⢖⣥⣶⣦⣀⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣠⣿⣿⣿⡏⣭⣶⣿⣿⠟⢿⣦⡡⣿⣿⡇⠁⡙⣷⡀ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⡟⢀⡀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣀⣁⣿⠏ ⠁⠁⠁⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢰⢻⣿⣇⣈⣴⣿⠟⢨⣛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠁ ⠁⣠⣶⣿⣿⡟⢋⠤⣤⠘⢿⣿⣧⡙⠻⠌⠒⠙⠛⢛⣫⣥⣿⣦⡈⠉⣡⣴⣾⠇ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⠁⠙⠷⣤⡙⠻⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠁ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⣄⠁⣀⡀⠉⠙⠒⠂⠉⠍⠉⠉⠉⠉⣩⣍⣁⣂⡈⠠⠂⠁⠁ ⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡉⠳⢬⣛⠷⢦⡄⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣓⡒⠒⣒⣂⣠⡬⠽⠓⠂⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁
November 2018

Pepe

Pepe with wine

⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡠⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⢹⣟⣛⣛⣛⣃⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⡓⢻⠿⠿⠷⡜⣯⠭⢽⠿⠯⠽⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣼⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣥⣝⠂⠐⠈⢸⠿⢆⠱⠯⠄⠈⠸⣛⡒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⡭⢟⣲⣶⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣛⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢰⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⣭⣛⠳⠶⠬⠭⢭⣝⣛⣛⣛⣫⣭⡥⠄⠸⡄⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⢇⡟ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⣛⡛⠳⠶⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠄⠄⠄⠙⠮⣽⣛⣫⡵⠊⠁ ⣍⡲⠮⣍⣙⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠖⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣝⣭⣭⣭⣴⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⠿⠦⠤⠄⠄
July 2020

Pepe

South Korea is an amazing country to visit!

twitchquotes: South Korea is an amazing country to visit! Be sure to see London, Korea's pride and joy. Then relax on the sandy beaches of Florida, only 30 min away from Seoul
twitch chat
April 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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