I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Streamer is a Hydraposter
twitchquotes:
I feel that when I post Hydras in [streamer name]'s stream, he secretly enjoys it. First, Nightbot's symbol spamming feature is disabled. Second, the slight sardonic intonation in his voice leads me to suspect that he thinks it's funny. Furthermore, I only ever get 24 hour bans for summoning. If he truly had distain for the Holy Hydra, he would just permaban all the followers. Instead, deep down, I feel [streamer name] is a Hydraposter.
twitch chat
Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream
twitchquotes:
"Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying
Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your shitty country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
Weebs
Classic
You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!
You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!? HA! Let me guess, you listen to basic trap trash like Lil Baby, Gunna, Trippie Redd, DaBaby, Roddy Rich, Young Thug, Travis Scott, A$AP Rocky, Kanye West, Lil Uzi Vert, and Playboi Carti. I would never touch that garbage. You see, I listen to REAL HIP HOP: BROCKHAMPTON, Denzel Curry, and Tyler, the Creator. You really think those artists would ever take influence let alone ever listen to those GARBAGE artists?!?!?!?!? NEVER.
KFC
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣭⣥⣭⣭⣍⡉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠠⠶⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⢀⡴⢊⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠙⡟⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿
⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠰⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⢋⢉⠍⢩⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿
⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠁⣑⣬⣤⡀⣾⣦⣶⣾⣖⣼⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿
⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⠟⠰⠻⠿⣣⡙⠿⣿⠋⠄⢀⡀⣀⠄⣀⣀⢀⣀⣀⢸
⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠄⠚⠛⠉⠭⣉⢁⣿⠄⢀⡿⢾⣅⢸⡗⠂⢿⣀⡀⢸
⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⣄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣾⠟⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⢸⡄⠄⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⣼
⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡸⣿⠒⠄⠈⠛⠄⠁⢹⡟⣾⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⣠⣴⣦⠄⠄⢸⣷⡹⣧⣖⡔⠄⠱⣮⣻⣷⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠚⠛⠁⠂⠄⠉⠉⡅⢰⡆⢰⡄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⣷⠘⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣀⣀⣹⣦⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿