[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
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Spam so I may stay warm

twitchquotes: Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.
twitch chat
June 2019

Pepe holding up L sign

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡄⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠀⢤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣋⣉⣙⣻⣿⣶⣿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠗⠊⠉⣉⣉⣟⠳⢿⡿⠛⡩⣐⣖⡚⠹⢷⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⠃⣀⡴⡪⠋⣕⡶⢦⠈⠱⠁⠀⣗⢯⣽⣀⣸⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⠈⠁⣋⣤⣀⣿⣽⠿⠓⠂⠒⠒⢋⣉⡥⢚⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⢰⡉⠩⠭⣭⣉⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⠭⠴⠒⣻⡽⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢿⣄⡈⠉⠓⠒⠲⠦⠤⠴⠶⠒⠒⠒⣚⣩⣏⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⢻⡙⠳⠦⠤⢤⡤⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⠋⠉⠀⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢳⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2020

Pepe

I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020

WeebsIn

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢸⡿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⢸⡇⣮⢻⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠆⣿⢸⡇⣿⣧⡻⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⢀⣠⢶⣟⢽⣿⣶⣨⣝⢕⠦⣀⢀⣠⣶⡆⠿⠸⠇⣿⣿⣷⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡿⠘⣻⣹⡸⣞⢿⡿⡽⡿⣷⠡⣜⡪⠋⠄⢀⣀⣤⡀⠄⠉⠛⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⢸⣼⣶⡇⡽⢿⣿⡜⣬⢞⣷⣤⢀⠐⣶⣦⣸⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⢘⠻⣿⣇⣟⣑⡻⣿⡐⢡⣺⡿⣸⣷⠾⠿⣿⣿⣇⢀⠠⠡⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⡟⣽⢻⣞⢸⣿⣮⢎⠳⠸⠇⣇⡂⢿⡫⢹⣉⣭⣭⠘⣣⣴⣢⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣸⡇⠄⡿⡄⣱⡤⠤⣼⣿⣾⣿⣶⣯⡛⡫⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⣿⡶⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠁⠄⠙⡵⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢾⣿⡿⢁⣬⡙⢿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠄⢠⢸⡞⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣶⣿⠏⠄⠰⣿⡆⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣼⣾⡍⠲⡄⠄ ⣿⠄⢯⠌⠻⣀⣰⢄⡲⢿⣿⡘⠄⠄⡔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⣔⠲⣥⢄⠂⠁⢹⠑ ⣿⢠⣾⣃⡞⣥⣼⡿⡿⢷⡹⠇⢀⠊⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠔⠄⠐⠒⠙⠮⠄⠄⠄⠘⡄ ⣿⠸⣶⣸⡿⣫⠔⠂⠑⠲⠄⠆⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠋⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠣ ⡟⠄⠭⡼⣥⡁⠄⠄⠄⠛⣠⣦⣤⡤⠈⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⡦⠄⢀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡇⣬⠍⠄⢶⡒⣖⢦⣤⣾⣿⡏⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣨⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄
June 2021

Weebs

Imagine complaining about aim assist

twitchquotes: Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We can’t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.
twitch chat
February 2019

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing