I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
HERE COMES DAT BOI
twitchquotes:
βπΈβπΈβπΈβπΈ o *** waddup π here π² come dat bΰ¬ iπ²π² rightπ²π²th πΈ ereβββ dat πΈ boi βπΈ βif dat boi πΈ Ζ½ai so π― i sai so π― thats what im talking about right there π² o *** (chorus: ΰ¬ sΚ°αΆ¦α΅) mMMMMα·Ππ― ββO0Πΰ¬ οΌ―OOοΌ―OΠΰ¬ ΰ¬ Ooooα΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅α΅β β β β π― πΈπΈπΈ ππ waddup
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Emoji Pasta
Toucan
ββββββββββββββββββββ
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βββββββββββββββββββββ
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Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks
Letβs say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts donβt care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
Ben Shapiro
The legend of the button
twitchquotes:
The legend of the button grew as the potential dust reward that came with it increased. But in the end when the no life Kripparian who had long sold out pressed it, the playful sprites robbed him of his joy and crashed his client. Kripp fell to his knees and in a solemn proclamation said "Never Lucky".
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Dear Kripp, This is Twitch CEO Dick McPeenballs
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Kripp