[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

me preds egg rolls

twitchquotes: last week i was out really late walking through a dark alley and out of nowhere i hear "me preds" then a small asian boy wearing a kakashi cosplay came out of nowhere screaming "me preds" over and over telling me to sell my kogmaws and reksais. The same guy got me again today but this time he was saying something about egg rolls .
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed

twitchquotes: Kripparian's true name is Octavian. Octavian is derived from the Latin word for 8. Latin was the language of Rome. Rome fell to Barbarians. Kripp played a Barbarian. Barbarian is 9 letters. Kripparrian is 11 letters. 9/11. Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

MOM I NEED V-BUCKS

twitchquotes: โ—๏ธโœ‹ OK MOM โœ‹โ—๏ธWE NEED TO TALK ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ค I NEED V-BUCKS ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ’ต I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿคจ I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿคฌ I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH ๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ๐Ÿ”ซ I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ NOW I NEED YOU ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ‘‰ TO BUY ME V-BUCKS ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ”ฅ I'VE GOTTA SHOW ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฌ MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ฏ NOW I'LL BE IN BED ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’ค BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿšธ
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

ass or tits?

On the question on the preference of either the buttocks or the breasts, the very nature is complex to answer for both of those body parts complement each other quite swimmingly, and even moreso when we bring the thighs into the situation. As such, it is difficult for I to answer for the buttocks and breasts - or the "ass" and "titties", as it were - are both equally attractive. Though if I was to give an answer, I would have to say that as much as I quite fancy the breasts, I will have to pick the buttocks and the thighs as my final answer. And if you will allow me to do so, I would also like to add feet as a heavy bonus.
August 2021

Missed lethal does not exist

twitchquotes: Missed lethal does not exist. It is all a well planned and intelligent BM. Now, BM is a very fragile subject. Some say it is bad, some say it is good. But only the best of the best BM kings know the truth. Putting your opponent on 1 health and ending turn is NOT missed lethal. Not using Grommash on explosive trap for lethal is NOT missed lethal. It is pure outplay and master-level BM. So, next time you spam 'MISSED LEGAL' in chat like retards, think again. Watch and learn kids, do as the masters.
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

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