[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

The attack of Trump's iluminati mods

twitchquotes: Three years have past since the attack of trumps iluminati mods.Reynad, Kripp and a handful of twitch users hid in a cave far away from Value Town, the last stronghold of the spam. ’’Pass me some OJ’’ said the Kripp…Reynad smiled….there wasn’t any left #Rekt.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I’m telling you, Ropz is as cracked as he is jacked

twitchquotes: I’m telling you, Ropz is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bhopped out the door
twitch chat
October 2020

CSGO

Cute squid

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢹⣿⡿⠋⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡈⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣾⡿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⢿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣾⡿⠻⣿⣿ ⡏⡄⠸⠟⠃⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠁⠘⠿⠇⢀⢹⣿ ⡅⣿⣄⠀⣰⣾⣿⣷⡄⠘⠟⣡⣶⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁⠰⠿⠃⣠⣿⢸⣿ ⣷⡹⢿⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⣿⣿⡟⢁⡀⠀⢰⣤⣶⣾⣿⢃⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣀⠸⣿⣿⡟⠃⠸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⣛⠂⠾⠿⢟⣋⣵⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⠿⣿⠰⣶⣍⣛⣛⣃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021
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