[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Canadaland

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Ban hammer

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Full Doge

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€
ascii art
November 2016

That hunk of a man, Blank

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, Blank, is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. He could be a freakin model. Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. That is by far the hottest sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. I'd let him blunk me any day.
twitch chat
July 2018
LCK

League of Legends

PepegaLicense

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃฆโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโก€โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โฃฐโฃฟโ ‹โ โ „โ „โ ‰โ ‰โข‰โก‰โ ‰โข‰โฃนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ›โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ „โ „ โ „โข โฃฟโ ƒโ „โข€โฃ€โขดโกฆโฃŸโฃฟโ ฝโฃถโฃถโฃฏโฃฟโ ›โ โฃคโฃพโกŸโ ‰โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก€โ „โ „ โ „โขธโฃฟโกคโ ‹โขนโฃฆโขฃโกญโขญโฃฌโฃŸโฃบโฃฟโฃฟโฃƒโ „โฃธโฃฟโ Ÿโ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ „โ „ โ „โฃพโกŸโฃฆโขดโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโ ฐโ ˆโขฟโกโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‡โฃฟโ ฟโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ „โ „ โ „โฃฟโ ฑโฃถโฃดโฃ’โฃฝโฃฎโฃ‰โฃฒโกญโ šโขผโฃซโฃฟโกŸโขธโฃฟโกบโฃฟโฃถโฃ„โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ „โ „ โข โกโ ˆโ ’โฃฉโ ฝโข›โฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โก›โ ฏโขฝโฃšโฃพโฃงโ ‡โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ †โขฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ „ โขธโ โ „โ „โ „โ ฐโ „โข€โฃ€โฃฒโฃพโฃฟโฃŸโฃ‰โฃกโฃดโขปโฃฟโฃพโฃฝโ ฟโ ‹โ „โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโก‡ โขธโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃ€โฃ€โ „โ „โ ‰โ โ ’โ ’โ บโ ถโ ถโ พโ ˆโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ƒ โข˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ „โ ˆโก† โ ˆโ ›โ ฟโกฟโ ฟโกฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโข‡โก€โ „โฃ€โ ‡ โ „โ „โขธโ โ „โขฃโ „โ „โ „โข€โกโ ‰โ ‰โกโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โก‡โ „โ „โ „โข€โ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ „โ „ โ „โ „โ ˆโ ’โ ’โ Šโ „โ „โ „โ ˜โ ฃโ คโ คโ ‹โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ’โ ’โ ’โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing