I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷
twitchquotes:
Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 🍷
Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 🍷
twitch chat
Barack Obama
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠛⠛⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡈⢔⠸⣐⢕⢕⢵⢰⢱⢰⢐⢤⡡⡢⣕⢄⢢⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠂⠅⢕⠌⡎⡎⣎⢎⢮⢮⣳⡳⣝⢮⢺⢜⢕⢕⢍⢎⠪⡐⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⢅⠣⡡⡣⣣⡳⡵⣝⡮⣗⣗⡯⣗⣟⡮⡮⣳⣣⣳⢱⢱⠱⣐⠄⠂⠄⢿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢈⠢⡱⡱⡝⣮⣿⣟⣿⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣗⡕⡇⡇⠄⠂⡀⢹⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢀⢂⢕⢸⢨⢪⢳⡫⣟⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⡮⡣⡣⠠⢂⠒⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⡂⠆⡇⣗⣝⢮⢾⣻⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣯⡯⣺⢸⢘⠨⠔⡅⢨⣿
⣿⣿⠋⠉⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡪⡪⡮⡮⡯⣻⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡯⣯⡺⡸⡰⡱⢐⡅⣼⣿
⣿⠡⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠈⠆⠱⠑⠝⠜⠕⡝⡝⣞⢯⢿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣽⣷⣽⡸⡨⡪⣂⠊⣿⣿
⣿⠡⠄⡨⣢⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠍⡓⣗⡽⣝⠽⠍⠅⠑⠁⠉⠘⠘⠘⠵⡑⢜⢀⢀⢉⢽
⣿⠁⠠⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠱⣁⠜⡘⠌⠄⠄⡪⣳⣟⡮⢅⠤⠠⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠈⡂⢲⡪⡠⣿
⣿⡇⠨⣺⢐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠤⡠⡢⢒⠦⠠⠄⠄⠄⡸⢽⣟⢮⠢⡂⡐⠄⡈⡀⠤⡀⠄⠑⢄⠨⢸⡺⣐⣿
⣿⣿⠈⠕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡐⡥⢤⣰⣰⣰⡴⡮⠢⠂⠄⠄⡊⢮⢺⢕⢵⢥⡬⣌⣒⡚⣔⢚⢌⢨⢚⠌⣾⡪⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣆⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡑⢕⢕⡯⡷⣕⢧⢓⢭⠨⡀⠄⡂⠨⡨⣪⡳⣝⢝⡽⣻⣻⣞⢽⣲⢳⢱⢡⠱⠨⣟⢺⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡅⠇⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⢪⢹⢽⢽⣺⢝⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢌⢎⡖⡯⡎⡗⢝⠜⣶⣯⣻⢮⡻⣟⣳⡕⠅⣷⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠔⡑⠕⠝⠄⡀⠄⠄⠊⢆⠂⠨⡪⣺⣮⣿⡾⡜⣜⡜⣄⠙⢞⣿⢿⡿⣗⢝⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠺⡹⠳⡙⡜⡓⡭⡺⡀⠄⠣⡻⡹⡸⠨⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠤⡤⡄⡆⡯⡢⡣⡣⡓⢕⠽⣄⠄⠨⡂⢌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠆⠄⠸⡂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠈⠄⠂⠁⠙⠝⠼⠭⠣⠣⠣⠑⠌⠢⠣⡣⡠⡘⣰⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠄⠈⡱⠄⢘⠄⡀⠨⢐⣧⣳⣷⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡶⠄⡠⡢⡕⣜⠎⡮⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠄⠨⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⢀⢀⢙⠃⡿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢟⢋⢔⡱⣝⢜⡜⡪⡪⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠡⠄⠄⠡⢀⢂⠢⡡⠡⠣⡑⣏⢯⡻⡳⣹⡺⡪⢎⠎⡆⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠁⠄⢈⠄⢂⠕⡕⡝⢕⢎⢎⢮⢎⢯⢺⢸⢬⠣⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠨⡐⠌⢆⢇⢧⢭⣣⡳⣵⢫⣳⢱⠱⢑⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⡊⢌⢢⢡⢣⢪⡺⡪⡎⡎⡎⡚⣨⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠕⡅⢗⢕⡳⡭⣳⢕⠕⡱⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠑⠩⢈⢂⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⢄⠄⣀⠄⡀⣀⢠⢄⣖⣖⣞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣱⡐⡕⡕⡽⣝⣟⣮⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣽⣸⣃⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
We wish you a Merry Krippmas
twitchquotes:
ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
twitch chat
Kripp
I love the McChicken
For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.
One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".
Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.
I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
You used ect instead of etc
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc."
"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.