[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

When Kripp is afk, he fills his bathtube with salty tears

twitchquotes: When Kripp goes afk, he's filling up his bathtube with his salty tears. Full of Anger and bad Energy, he let the harmony of salt and warm HΒ²O take over. He is at a better place now, dreaming about freedom and peace.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

KAPOW

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⠄⒀⣀⣾⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣴⠀⒠⣾⠏⒀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⒠⣢⑿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β£΄β£Ώβ£Ώβ’€β£Ώβ β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β €β šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀Ⓕ⣿⣿⣾⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣸⣿⣯⣴Ⓙ⣿⣿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠁⠀ β €β €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β Ήβ‘Ώβ’£β£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β €β ˜β ›β β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ β β €β € β €β €β €β Έβ ‹β β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ƒβ €β €β €β’€β£€β£Ύβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β’€β£Ώβ €β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⒀⣀⣢⣾⣷⣆⠀⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⣰⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β£Ύβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ‰β£Έβ‘Ώβ’£β£Ύβ£Ώβ Ÿβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£ β‘΄β Ÿβ’‘β£Ώβ‘Ώβ β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ ‹β €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£‡β €β’€β£΄β‘Ώβ ƒβ €β Ÿβ ‹β β €β ›β ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β’€β£Ώβ‘Ώβ €β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
October 2020

Sanic Hegehog

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–€β–β–„β–‘β–€β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„ β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€ β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
July 2015

Unsponsered Art of Conquest stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. β€œBoy,” he says, β€œwe got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. β€œWow!” says Hanks. β€œI don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his β€˜Unsponsered’ Art of Conquest stream!”
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing