I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
haven’t done assassins in a while
twitchquotes:
"alright, locket I guess” 
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
twitch chat
Teamfight Tactics
I just screenshotted your NFT FAQ (Reddit)
I just screenshotted your NFT.
You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below:
# FAQ:
## Why did you screenshot my NFT?
I'm not going to tell you.
## Did you screenshot anybody else's NFTs?
You could say I am screenshotting everybody's NFTs, but in the case I am telling you that I screenshotted your NFT.
## How are you screenshotting my NFTs?
I screenshot when you post them on your profile.
## What are you planning to do with my NFTs?
Have them all.
## What do I do about you screenshotting my NFTs?
There's nothing you can do.
## When are you going to stop screenshotting my NFTs?
You cannot escape me.
## Do I call the police?
No. The authorities will not help you.
## What are the consequences of you screenshotting my NFTs?
Be aware.
## What if I am ok with you screenshotting my NFTs?
I will make sure you’re not.
If there are any more questions then please consult your NFT wallet by directly speaking to it.
## Summary:
I am screenshotting your NFTs.
HADOUKEN
twitchquotes:
༼つಠ益ಠ༽つ ─=≡ΣO)) HADOUKEN
twitch chat
Kripp
What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?
twitchquotes:
What if I... put my Minecraft bed... 😳 next to yours... 😳 aha ha, just kidding.. 😂 unless.. ? 😳
twitch chat
Classic
You'll be erasing your foes in no time
twitchquotes:
Hey Reynad! Nice to see you streaming again. I see you've decided you want to look like a pencil. Good for you man, follow your dreams. You'll be erasing your foes in no time. 
twitch chat
Reynad