[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski

twitchquotes: My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

FNC, aka "Feed N' Cry"

twitchquotes: FNC, aka "Feed N' Cry", are another contender in the LEC (Low Elo Clowns) , who are known for their fiesta gameplay and their captain, Rekkles, a KDA player who currently holds the League of Legends record for most times crying on stage after losing
twitch chat
September 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Dragon

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣲⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠖⠋⢀⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠊⠀⠀⡠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠚⠁⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠤⠖⠈⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠓⠲⢤⣸⠒⣊⣭⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢿⡶⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠎⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⢀⡠⠔⢊⡥⢺⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠁⣠⠞⠁⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⡠⠊⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡊⠁⠁⠀⢊⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣉⣓⣦⡤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡤⠊⠁⠸⠀⠀⠀⡠⡖⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⡩⠭⠒⢋⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠛⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠤⣀⡀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⡰⠚⢧⠉⠒⠒⠮⠽⣾⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠁⡠⣖⠂⠀⠀⠀⡠⠋⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠁⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠙⢌⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠐⠁⣀⡠⠔⠋⣀⣀⡴⠚⠓⡶⣞⣉⣀⣀⡠⢤⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣃⡀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣠⡊⠁⡀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⠑⢄⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣽⢻⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠑⠦⠤⠤⠤⠄⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⣆⠀⠀⠘⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⢏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⠦⠤⠤⠄⢲⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⣀⣹
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July 2022

Supreme

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠻⠋⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠟⠀⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠒⠶⠾⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠉⠋⠁⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢻⡇⠀⡿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣤⡄⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢹⡇⠀⠟⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣸⡇⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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April 2020

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

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