[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Tricky the Clown

⣿⣿⡉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠸⠟⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⠀⡹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠤⠀⣈⡉⠁⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⡀⡠⠼⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠀⠙⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠐⠒⠀⠤⠤⠄⢉⣀⣀⡒⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉⠀⠀⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡴⠀⠀⠀⣀⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡃⠀⢻⡀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠳⢶⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣾⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢀⣾⢿⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣠⠞⠁⠀⣿⠇⢀⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠑⠂⢀⡀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠈⡟⠒⠚⠋⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠠⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠤⠤⠤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣇⠀⠀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡦⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠓⠶⣶⣤⣤⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

STOP with your copy pasta SPAM

twitchquotes: STOP with your copy pasta SPAM. You are destroying not ONLY my chat EXPERIENCE, but everyones chat EXPERIENCE. If you PLEBS don't stop IMMEDIATELY, then I will have to call the CYBER police. Do NOT copy and paste this.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

He fills my butt with his Blood Thirster

twitchquotes: I sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴄʜᴇᴇᴋs ғᴏʀ QT. Hᴇ ᴘᴇɴᴇᴛʀᴀᴛᴇs ᴍᴇ. I ᴄᴀɴ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛ ᴛᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ. I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʜɪᴍ. Hᴇ ʀᴏᴀʀs ᴀ ᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ ʀᴏᴀʀ ᴀs ʜᴇ ғɪʟʟʟs ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs Bʟᴏᴏᴅ Tʜɪʀsᴛᴇʀ.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?

‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A 🏳️‍🌈R🏳️‍🌈A🏳️‍🌈I🏳️‍🌈N🏳️‍🌈B🏳️‍🌈O🏳️‍🌈W🏳️‍🌈 LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🤯🤯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 🏳️‍🌈LGBT 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️TRANS 🏳️‍⚧️RIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 UR SO PROGRESSIVE 💁🏻‍♂️💁🏼‍♂️💁🏽‍♂️💁🏾‍♂️💁🏿‍♂️ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! 👏👏👏🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍🥰🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Pikachu eyes

♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▀████▀▄▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▄█ ♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄♂♀♂♀▄▄▀▀█ ♂♀♂▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░░▄▀ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ ▄▀░░░░█♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░▄█▀▄░░░░░░▄█ ▀▄░░░░░▀▄♂♀♂█░░░░░ 👁️ ░░░░░ 👁️ █ ♂♀▀▄░░░░▄▀♂█░░░▄██▄░░░▄░░▄░░▀▀░█ ♀♂♀█░░▄▀♀♂█░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░▄▀ ♂♀█░░░█♀♂█░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄
September 2018

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing