[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Shaco

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⣉⠛⢦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠐⢉⡉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⣠⠶⠛⠋⠁⠉⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠈⠻⢶⣤⣀⣀⣽⡆⠘⣿⠇⠀⢸⠀⢀⣠⡴⠞⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⣀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠃⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⣺⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⡗⢦⣀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣤⢚⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠰⠀⢻⠳⢾⣯⣸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠘⣡⡖⢻⠃⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⠀⢷⠀⡈⠻⣿⠀⠀⡠⠚⠀⢷⠃⢰⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢆⠘⡄⡁⢀⠉⠦⠊⣁⠴⢁⠄⠐⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣆⠈⢇⠨⠉⠰⠈⠁⢀⠏⠀⠰⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠹⡇⠈⢧⡀⢠⠀⣠⠋⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⠿⠇⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020

League of Legends

Only the chosen wizard can wear his hat

twitchquotes: AMPEnergyCherry Only the chosen wizard can wear his hat つ◕౪◕つ──☆*:・
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

monkaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⢛⡛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢱⡔⡝⣜⣜⢜⢜⡲⡬⡉⢕⢆⢏⢎⢇⢇⣧⡉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡱⣸⠸⢝⢅⢆⢖⣜⣲⣵⣴⣱⣈⡣⣋⢣⠭⣢⣒⣬⣕⣄⣝⡻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⡜⣎⢎⢇⢇⣵⣷⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠛⢿⣦⢵⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠓⢲⡝⣿ ⢏⢰⢱⣞⢜⢵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣻⣿⣿⣿⠡⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣺ ⢕⢜⢕⢕⢵⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠗⣀⠄⠄⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⡀⢾⠆⣀⠄⠄⣰⢳ ⡕⣝⢜⡕⣕⢝⣜⢙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣥⣤⣾⢟⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣉⣤⡴⢫⣾ ⡪⡪⣪⢪⢎⢮⢪⡪⡲⢬⢩⢩⢩⠩⢍⡪⢔⢆⢏⡒⠮⠭⡙⡙⠭⢝⣨⣶⣿⣿ ⡪⡪⡎⡮⡪⡎⡮⡪⣪⢣⢳⢱⢪⢝⢜⢜⢕⢝⢜⢎⢧⢸⢱⡹⡍⡆⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡪⡺⡸⡪⡺⣸⠪⠚⡘⠊⠓⠕⢧⢳⢹⡸⣱⢹⡸⡱⡱⡕⡵⡱⡕⣝⠜⢿⣿⣿ ⡪⡺⡸⡪⡺⢐⢪⢑⢈⢁⢋⢊⠆⠲⠰⠬⡨⡡⣁⣉⠨⡈⡌⢥⢱⠐⢕⣼⣿⣿ ⡪⣪⢣⢫⠪⢢⢅⢥⢡⢅⢅⣑⡨⡑⠅⠕⠔⠔⠄⠤⢨⠠⡰⠠⡂⣎⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠪⣪⡪⡣⡫⡢⡣⡣⡣⡣⡣⣣⢪⡪⡣⡣⡲⣑⡒⡎⡖⢒⣢⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢁⢂⠲⠬⠩⣁⣙⢊⡓⠝⠎⠮⠮⠚⢎⡣⡳⠕⡉⣬⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢐⠐⢌⠐⠅⡂⠄⠄⢌⢉⠩⠡⡉⠍⠄⢄⠢⡁⡢⠠⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2018

Pepe

New brofisting trend

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ Kripp, it's me Papparrian. Your mother and I are very disappointed in this new 'brofisting' trend you've picked up on. We can only suspect it's due to you being around the succubus for too long. Please come home we miss you. No copypasterino cappuccino pizzarino pepperoni papa johns.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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