I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp's lettuce points
twitchquotes:
The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Tanner from High School
Stop saying the word cum
Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION.
Sincerely, FUCK YOU
Ahegao 2
⣿⡇⠘⡇⢀⣶⣶⠄⠈⣾⡟⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⢾⢃⣿⣿⡟⣸⢸⣿⣿⣸
⣿⢸⣦⢧⢸⣿⣿⢱⠄⠄⣇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⡯⠸⣿⢳⢱⡏⣼⣿⢇⣿
⡏⣾⢽⣼⢸⣿⣿⡘⣆⢀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⢇⣿⠂⢌⡾⡇⣿⡿⢸⣿
⢧⣿⠄⢹⢸⣿⣿⣷⣭⢸⡄⣿⣿⣿⢋⣵⣿⣿⡿⠟⡨⡡⠄⣾⣿⡆⣭⡇⣿⣿
⣼⡏⡀⠄⢀⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⡇⣿⡿⣡⢁⣿⣿⣫⡶⢃⡵⣡⣿⣮⡻⡇⣿⢸⣮⢿
⣿⡇⣧⢠⠸⡎⡍⡭⢾⡏⣧⢋⢾⠏⣼⣿⣿⠿⣵⣾⣕⠿⣿⣿⣷⢡⠏⣾⣿⣿
⣿⠁⣿⠈⠄⠄⢃⢹⡀⠸⢸⢿⠸⢰⢻⢿⣟⢁⣀⠄⠄⠉⠒⢝⢿⠸⣴⣿⣿⣿
⡍⠇⣿⣷⢰⢰⢸⠄⡃⡆⠈⠈⡀⡌⠠⠸⠃⣿⣏⡳⢷⢄⡀⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⠸⣿⢸⣿⣶⡄⣇⠃⡇⡄⡇⠁⠃⠄⠈⢊⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⠄⢻⣸⣿⣿⠏⡙⢸⣇⣡⢰⢀⠄⠄⠄⠈⡁⢱⢈⢿⣿⡿⡄⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡿⢰⡇⠆⠲⠶⣝⠾⠸⢴⢠⠄⠇⢸⢸⠄⡶⡜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏
⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡇⠧⢣⣸⣦⣄⣀⠁⠓⢸⣄⠸⢀⠄⡀⡀⡪⣽⣿⣿⢿⣿⢟⣬
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢧⠯⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠰⣷⠄⣿⣇⡿⠄⡀⠦⣰⣿⡿⣱⣿⡏⢾⣫
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣌⢌⢿⣿⣿⠇⠼⢃⢠⢇⣻⣧⣿⡡⣸⣿⠿⢁⡟⢁⣳⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠳⢝⣒⣒⠰⣘⣴⡧⠿⣿⣛⡯⣱⡿⣫⢎⣪⣎⣿⣧⢻⠿
Weebs
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than you’re done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. It’s only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
WallStreetBets
It starts with a surge of adrenaline
twitchquotes:
It starts with a surge of adrenaline. Signals flood the nervous system. Pupils race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Then open. Now it’s up to you to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat