[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Anonymous (Guy Fawkes)

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February 2021

Shotgun Pepe

⡏⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⣀⡀⠄⠹⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠄⢈⡄⣄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣧⠘⢹⣦⣄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣷⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡈⣙⠟⠉⠉⠙⠋⠉⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⣀⠄⢠⣀⠄⡨⣹ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣇⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠈⠋⠄⠄⣠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿
January 2019

Pepe

PJSalt = Hs²

twitchquotes: Albert Einstein was desperate. He tried to prove that the luck of Kripp's opponents was within the laws of mathematics. Critics laughed claiming bad luck is divine punishment for embracing casualness. On his deathbed, he spent his last seconds jotting down the most famous formulas, PJSalt = Hs²
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Olombo Bongo from Somalia

twitchquotes: hi kripp i em olombo bongo frm Somalia. erryday i watch u strem u are favourit stremmer i sell kidney for a laptop 2 i can watch u strem. i work in bannana facotry an 1 day i cum to america LAND OF FREEDDOM so i be lyke u and strem 4 monies insted of pick banana, WOO USAsss al pacino, malcolm in middle, stevo-o, mike 'the situation' sorrentino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Copy and paste or get vaped

twitchquotes: VapeNation hello my name is Ethan i died Ripping a fat vape 10 years ago unless u send this to copy and paste this 10 times i will come show up in your room tonight and Rip fat clouds every night you have seven min to post it or else. VapeNation
twitch chat
June 2016

VapeNation

Text-to-Speech Playing