I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Bees fly anyway bUrself
twitchquotes:
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
twitch chat
This is Morde’s mom
twitchquotes:
Hi David, this is Morde’s mom. I noticed you haven’t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Morde has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesn’t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, „We’re never taking Morde.“ I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Morde has phantom synergy, knight synergy, and he can hit 2 units! Why don’t you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
dogdog
Teamfight Tactics
Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth
twitchquotes:
High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
salty
The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs
The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He shit himself. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours shitting and farting. The Boy you just tripped? He shit his pants. There's more to people than you think. Like this if your against bullying.
Unicorn
⢠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢦⡀⠀⢰⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠙⣎⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠈⣗⣄⡌⠘⣷⣀⣠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⣣⡖⣯⡷⣧⠀⢸⢿⣦⡀⠈⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣼⣯⣄⣿⣦⣸⢸⣏⠻⣤⣀⣈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⠤⠴⠻⣯⠈⠋⠙⠃⠀⠈⣿⠻⣾⡿⠛⠁⠉⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠷⣤⡛⠛⢿⣿⡟⢹⡄⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡙⢹⡏⠿⣆⣹⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠾⢷⡞⠁⣀⠙⢿⠂⠀
⠀⠀⢀⢾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⢸⡄⠀
⠀⠀⡞⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡾⣷⣾⠇⠀
⠀⢸⠈⠿⠀⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⢀⣼⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⣘⠷⠊⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⠿⠖⠛⣿⡄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀