[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

RETARD WAVE

twitchquotes: ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ RETARD WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
November 2014

YA SPAM IT

twitchquotes: ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ノ THIS IS OUR CHAT MODS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ノ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)̄ YA SPAM IT (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)̄
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Crewmate with feminine legs

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀ ⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣿⠟⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠋⠉⢀⣠⣤⣤⡔⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠾⠛⠋⠉⠀⢀⣀⠐⣤⣶⣶⡤⢤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⣀⣈⡿⠿⠿⠽⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠟⢁⣀⡴⣦⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣍⡷⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢶⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠓⠀⠉⠋⠉⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⡀⠙⠻⢶⣶⡤⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠈⠻⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣶⣦⣤⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠙⢷⣤⣀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⢧⣀⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢳⣄⠙⠛⢋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣴⣤⣄⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢠⡈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡉⠛⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠷⣶⣦⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡈⢷⣌⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣦⣄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⠉⠛⠷⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠛⠛⠻⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣦⣄⠈⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⠿⠿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣀⣀⣀⣀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣞⣻⣿⣿⣔⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trent from high school

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name here] this is Trent from highschool. Remember that girl you liked, Jessica? Yeah we're married now. Sucks for you wasting your life away playing stupid video games. I have a big job in a huge company, a beautiful wife, two kids, and a nice car. What do you have huh? A PC? HA! I own five of those. And your chat is stupid. Bye loser!
twitch chat
January 2019

Tanner from High School

B emoji

⠀⣠⡶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢶⣄⠀ ⣼⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⡄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠁⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣦⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠋⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing