[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
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LeBlanc

⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠲⠿⣿⣯⣭⣍⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢲⣦⢮⡐⠊⠉⢱⣮⠀⠈⠃⢔⣢⣼⣿⣷⡦⠾⠦⠲⣶⣶⣉⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣤⣤⣍⣙⠻⢿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠘⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⠛⠙⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠨⡙⠿⣿⣶⣄⣿⣷⣿⠀⣮⠀⡀⢰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⢀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⣬⡻⢿⣿⣿⠃⣀⡼⠷⡽⣿⡟⠀⢀⡀⠀⢠⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⣰⡟⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⣽⣿⣜⢿⡇⠀⢰⡟⢀⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣰⡿⢡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⢻⣷⣕⢠⡿⠑⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⡠⠁⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠻⣿⢃⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⠙⠿⣗⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⡧⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢰⠃⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⢄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡑⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⡀⠀⠉ ⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠓⠐⠒⣸⣄⣠⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡇⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠄⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣤⣑⠄⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠂ ⡡⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠉⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠈⠙⠲⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⢤⣬⣤⠀⠀⣈⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠲⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢹⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣶ ⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⢆⣠⣴⣾⠿⠟⠛⢛⣿⣿ ⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣶⡿⣫⠾⠛⠉⢁⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⠿
September 2021

League of Legends

Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot

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twitch chat
May 2019

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 2)

When I went into the office the next day everybody ignored me. So I walked up to a coworker and said "Hey, why are you ignoring me, you're a bit sussy!" He reached for the red phone and I was reminded it looked like the Among us character. So I said "When the phone is sus hahahahhah" and I did the Linus tech tips disappointed face. "Get it? Do you use reddit?" He was talking to management when I cut the phone cord and threw it across the office. I said "Red was the imposter! hahahah!" And I did the among us drip song. "Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!" He wasn't smiling and he punched me but I said "You're sus! You're the imposter I saw you vent!" He was angry and he tried to punch me again but I grabbed his fist and said "Omae wa mo shinderu." He tried to punch me again he is a loser! He didn't even get my anime reference. So I took off my pants and shoved them on my his head. "You just got pantsed! HAhahahah" and I did the pepe smile and ran out of the office. Who wants to talk to an IMPOSTER? Stupid bitch
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

I love seeing TRUMP lose

twitchquotes: I love seeing TRUMP lose, it's my daily medicine, my weekly energy, my monthly inspiration and my yearly motivation. His loss is the only reason i'm still alive, i was born to love and enjoy the failure that he has achieved.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing