[Copypasta] I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend. I dont know why she choosed a 5Β΄6 peanut looking guy over me (Im a 6Β΄7 College athlete and i bench press 500 pounds) but im glad she came around a good fella like you. Remember she like watching at sunsets and reciving chin kisses! Have a good one Buddy!
twitch chat
October 2018
Tyler1

Fortnite, as a game, shows the failures of capitalism

twitchquotes: Fortnite, as a game, shows the failures of capitalism. The whole premise of buying VBucks for bling and novelty with real money creates a divide between the rich and the poor over something completely useless. The struggle to compete for weapons in game shows how people who get lucky will win - if, under a communistic style - Fortnite started with everyone sharing the same weapons, only then will the best at the game win the royale. Now you see, β€œthe game” and β€œFortnite” can easily be replaced with β€œworking” and β€œsociety”, and you have the description of communism. By underlining these basic errors in such a system Fortnite acts as perfect communist propoganda. Workers of the world, unite!
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

BionicBunion

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–“β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–„ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–“ β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€
ascii art
November 2014
patashu

Mario head

ascii art
July 2019

NSFW

What's the best way to cash out without creating a huge ruckus?

For example, lets just say that I theoretically put $4000 into crypto, watched it quadruple and now I theoretically had $16k in crypto. Now lets imagine that I theoretically put half of that so $8000 into this funny haha dog coin called Shiba Inu or something in August 2020 and just forgot about it cause it's funny to put a lot of money into stupid jokes. But theoretically lets say that it turned to $8 billion in a bit over a year and now I want to cash out and move it to my bank account. How would I theoretically go on about this safely if I theoretically had this much money in crypto, in theory of course.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing