[Copypasta] I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: 📜 ✍️ 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓃𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝒸𝓀 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉.
twitch chat
February 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Grand Dragon Jebodiah Pasterino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is the Grand Dragon of the KKK, Jebodiah Pasterino. I see you're wearing one of our signature white hoods. We at the KKK do not associate with casuals such as yourself. Please remove the hood or we will take legal action.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Clap

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⣄⡀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠛⢦⣠⢤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢱⡀⣸⠁⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠉⢿⢀⡤⠶⣴⠇⣯⠀⣼⠁⠀⢀⡴⠷⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣀⡾⠋⠀⠀⢹⣼⠁⢠⡇⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠑⢦⠀⡴⠋⢀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⠧⣄⡾⠁⡼⠁⣀⣤⠾⡁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣨⠟⠁⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⣿⠃⣰⠃⣴⠋⠀⠀⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢠⠞⠁⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⢀⣠⡴⠿⣶⡇⢰⠇⠀⠀⢠⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⢿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⡴⠚⠉⠁⠀⢀⡟⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡾⣼⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠙⢼⠃⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠉⡎⠀⣰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡼⠉⠀⠀⠀⠘⠂⠀⠀⣠⠇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⣰⠃⠀⡴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠁⡏⢠⠃⢀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠀⠃⡎⢀⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⣀⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡴⢺⠇⠀⠀⠀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢳⡀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠳⣄⠀⠙⠲⣤⣀⣠⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⣄⣀⡠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

3% off of everything except my forehead

twitchquotes: Reynad ran crying out of the house. Knowing something was wrong, Frodan ran out after him. "What's wrong?" Frodan asked Reynad. Reynad replied with tears in his eyes, "Everyone was making fun of me." "Why?" Frodan said. Reynad barely eked out the words, "I can use promo code TEMPO to get 3% off of everything, except my forehead."
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing