twitchquotes:
π βοΈ πΌ ππππππ ππ πΎππ»πππ πππ, ππ½πππ πΎπ ππ πΈππΈπ πππ»π.
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More Copypastas
My wife told me to talk dirty to her
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said βdirtier!β So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said βdirtier!β So I said βIβm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iβm gonna put it in long and deep. Iβm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.β
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weβre getting a divorce.
WallStreetBets
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner
twitchquotes:
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me 
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Weebs
Hey Nairo this is your cat
twitchquotes:
Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub 
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NairoMK
Greetings Michael, this is your Mother
twitchquotes:
Greeting Michael, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Pobelter boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see...
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imaqtpie
Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she wonβt talk to me
My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didnβt look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying βmaybe your just a heckin chonkerβ would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.