[Copypasta] I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: πŸ“œ ✍️ 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 π“‰π‘œ π’Ύπ“ƒπ’»π‘œπ“‡π“‚ π“Žπ‘œπ“Š, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 π’Ύπ“ˆ π“ƒπ‘œ π’Έπ‘œπ’Έπ“€ 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉.
twitch chat
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

cant understand how you have a popular stream

twitchquotes: cant understand how you have a popular stream. you keep saying β€œi dont even know what im doing” and it shows. you’re strats... wait do you have any? doesn’t seem like it. you just seem consistantly terrible. dunno why people watch you. you’re not entertaining or educating or anything... just another garbage ARAM player... lost a potential watcher for... literally anyone else
twitch chat
September 2019

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend

twitchquotes: im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend, yesterday i always commented how nice poki looked instead of making weird sexual comments like the weridos there
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing