[Copypasta] I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: πŸ“œ ✍️ 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 π“‰π‘œ π’Ύπ“ƒπ’»π‘œπ“‡π“‚ π“Žπ‘œπ“Š, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 π’Ύπ“ˆ π“ƒπ‘œ π’Έπ‘œπ’Έπ“€ 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉.
twitch chat
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is the Totemic Might police

twitchquotes: β—₯Β·ΜΏΔΉΜ―Β·ΜΏ ΜΏβ—€ This is the Totemic Might police, you're coming with us Reynad. β—₯Β·ΜΏΔΉΜ―Β·ΜΏ ΜΏβ—€
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight

twitchquotes: Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't whisper me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok). Shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless twitch chat pastas. (Gonna have lots of segz tonight with a real girl).
twitch chat
May 2021

Sing2x this is your girlfriend

twitch chat
January 2015
SingSing

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

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