[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The emotion of the topdeck, the salt of the defeat

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp remember you don't play for the gold or for the wins, you play to feel the emotion on the topdick, the PJSalt on the defeat, you live for the BM, because you can be one with your cards, but mostly because at least through the match you're free. plz no linguini
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Spaghetti out of Kripp's underwear

twitchquotes: I love spaghetti, its actually my passion. I have always wanted to eat Greek spaghetti, specifically out of Kripp's underwear where his dongers are Kappa
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

twitchquotes: LUL you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about OMEGALUL
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Fortnite default dance 4

⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠉⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⣭⣀⣀⣤ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠿⣶⣀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣉⣶ ⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⣿⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀ ⠀⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉ ⣀⣶⣿⠛
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing