[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

Imaqtpie washed up

twitchquotes: Last Saturday, I found Imaqtpie wet and unconscious on a beach. I quickly asked a lifeguard to watch over him while I get help. The lifeguard walks away muttering that he "doesnt watch washed up streamers".
twitch chat
May 2020
imaqtpie

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed (Shakespearean English)

Dost thou ponder if yoshi's constitution becomes discombobulated whence eggs are excreted afore Mario's gaze? My sincere apologies if thy bristles were tussled, however I believe this to be quite amusing. And, I am curious to perview a charcoal etching of this event, if only for a rousing chuckle. I'm also perplexed whence trying to place what eldritch odor would arise. This is only for a gaff, a ruse, merriment per se, I would like to smell them.
April 2021

Hello! My name is Reynad!

twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Monkey D. Luffy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡲⢋⠝⠋⣛⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠠⣴⠗⢀⠥⠂⢁⠤⠤⠤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠛⠉⠗⠒⠲⢤⣀⠀ ⠰⠃⠐⠀⠋⡠⠀⠮⠤⠤⠤⠤⡤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣽⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⠀⠜⠀⠀⠈⠀⢠⣤⣔⣒⡒⠒⠂⠁⠀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠀ ⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢄⡴⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠐⠉⢸⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣙⠋⠴⠛⣿⢛⡿⠬⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠹⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡇⠀⠉⠀⠘⠉⢰⣯⡊⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡄⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠛⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⢲⣄⠀⠒⠂⠀⣀⢴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⠀⢻⣿⣶⣴⣾⡟⢸⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⢀⣠⡤⠂⢠⠈⢿⣿⡿⣿⠃⠀⠙⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠉⢇⠀⠈⡇⠘⣏⠀⡿⡰⠀⠀⢀⠛⠛⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠗⠒⢿⡀⠸⡈⣠⠧⠞⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

One Piece

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