[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
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My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.
November 2021

Reddit

CmonBruh bruh

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠘⠛⠂⠄⠄⠉⠙⢻⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣩⣄⠄⠄⠛⠷⠄⠄⢀⣾⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⣙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿ ⣿⡿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣷⡴⢄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣶⣶⡄⠉⠉⠙⢿⡆⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠸⠿⠿⠛⠛⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠻⣶⣼⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⢀⣀⡺⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠤⠾⠄⠄⣈⣛⠋⠉⠹⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⢸⡟⢛⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠶⢤⣴⣿⣉⡁⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣶⣬⣍⣉⠛⠲⠄⠈⠉⠁⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⠰⠛⠻⢿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⣿⠃⠀⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⣴⡄⠀⠘⡇⠀⣤⣤⡇⠀⣼⣿⠀⢠⡏⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⡼⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⢸⠁⠀⣼⡏⠀⢠⡟⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Emote

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

monkaW

⠟⠛⣉⣡⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣉⡛⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣉⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⣙⠛⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠆⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠰⠄⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⡗⠠⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠘⠠⢀⣼ ⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣋⣡⡈⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⠿⠷⠶⣦⣭⣉⣉⣉⣉⣭⡥⣴⡿⠿⢟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣬⣭⣽⣿⣿⠖⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣫⣥⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⠛⢛⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣅⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣉⣙⡛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣉⣭ ⣛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣋⣭⣄⠄ ⣶⣦⣬⣍⣙⣛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄
April 2019

Pepe

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