[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

2018 MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: raniaEZ ? amazW ? krippW ? eloiseE ? trumpW ? savjzW ? reynadW ? toastyW ? kolentoW ? reckWut ? bajW ? btsKotlW ? dewW ? emjaneW ? forsenW ? thijsULU ? omgYay ? eslGob ? mitchW ? lirikThump ? qtpHAHAA ? singsingFcuk ? bjergW ? sodaW ? btsGodzW ? liftGasm ? goldyW ? taymooW ? rtzW ? admiralW ? envySwag ? wtrWtR ? danFat ? merliniPolice ? sumE ? fluffyW ? ratW ? purpleCx ? tyler1C ? syndiRage ? Pleb test passed
twitch chat
October 2018

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say โ€œiS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1โ€ on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! Theyโ€™ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? Iโ€™m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I donโ€™t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didnโ€™t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: ๐“›๐“˜๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“พ๐“น ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“ฝ๐“ป๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป 90 ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ'๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ถ๐“ฎ? ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ด ๐“ช๐“ฐ๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ผ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท 69 ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“ผ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ฝ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ. ๐“˜'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ผ๐“ด๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ท๐“๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ, ๐“˜ ๐“ฐ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ฐ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“น๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ผ. ๐“จ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ณ๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ผ๐”€๐“ช๐“ฝ, ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ.
twitch chat
September 2018

Fortnite

I think itโ€™s safe to say NA is a far superior region

I think itโ€™s safe to say NA is a far superior region. There is just such a mentality difference between the two regions. Teams from NA want to win, while teams from EU (Streamnatic, Team twitchquid) just donโ€™t want it as much. it really shows in the way they perform. NA is far more disciplined, practicing long hours of the day while EU would rather stream. Next lan, Iโ€™m not sure EU should get any spots tbf.
May 2022

Valorant

You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing