[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD

YOUโ€™RE ๐ŸŒฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸŽต I ๐Ÿ˜€ KNOW ๐Ÿ’ญ YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ TOOK ๐Ÿ‘ซ MY ๐Ÿ˜ FORTNITE ๐ŸŽฎ CARD ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ I ๐Ÿพ KNOW ๐Ÿค” YOU ๐Ÿค– TOOK ๐Ÿคฏ MY ๐Ÿ˜˜ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ฒ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ’ฉ CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ GIVE ๐Ÿšช๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿธ ME ๐Ÿ‘ˆ MY ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ˜ฃ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ฐ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ’ฉ CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ˜‘ YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ˜ญ BETTER ๐ŸŽฐ GIVE ๐Ÿ‘น ME ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’ก MY ๐Ÿฅณ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ธ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฎ CARD ๐Ÿ—ƒ I ๐Ÿ‘น NEED ๐Ÿ“ฒ MY ๐Ÿ”‘ 19 โ™ˆ DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ต FORTNITE ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฎ CARD, ๐Ÿ’ณ NOW! ๐Ÿ“…
May 2021

Fortnite

Half Steve Half Creeper

๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐ŸŸฉโฌ›โฌ›๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐ŸŸฉโฌ›โฌ›๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿผโฌœ๐ŸŸฆ๐Ÿผโฌ›๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿพโฌ›โฌ›๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฝโฌ›โฌ›๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŸฉโฌ›๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ
January 2024

Minecraft

Anything to get inside Kripp

twitchquotes: I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Kripp. That perfect, scrawny body. That shining forehead. The receding hairline of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that Iโ€™ll never mate with him, pass my genes through him, and have nothing happen because he's a man. Iโ€™d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get inside Kripp. A N Y T H I N G.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
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