[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
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Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018

Yuno Gasai

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–โ–’โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ– โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’
September 2018

Weebs

Don't even try to compare Xqc to Forsen

twitchquotes: Don't even try to compare Xqcow to frozen. Xqcow is god, frozen is dog. Xqcow is smart, frozen is a wet shart. Xqcow makes Poggers plays, frozen is a glorified sleep aid. Xqcow is the juicer, frozen is a fruit. Capiche kiddo?
twitch chat
January 2022
Forsen

Unseen donger is the deadliest

twitchquotes: (เธ‡ อ  อ ยฐ ู„อœ ยฐ)เธ‡ แด›สœแด‡ แดœษดsแด‡แด‡ษด แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ ษชs แด›สœแด‡ แด…แด‡แด€แด…สŸษชแด‡sแด› (เธ‡ อ ยฐ ู„อœ ยฐ)เธ‡
twitch chat
June 2017

Classic

My power is unBEARable

twitchquotes: เธเน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡ส•โ€ขอกแดฅโ€ขส” เธเน‰ MY POWER IS UNBEARABLE เธเน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡เน‡ส•โ€ขอกแดฅโ€ขส” เธเน‰
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing