[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

We Live In A Society

We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or “Chad”). In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir. Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad. So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere “satire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us. Gamers Rise Up.
March 2021

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
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March 2017
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League of Legends

This guy's wallet is CRAZY!

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February 2017

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Kripp's stream is like watching paint dry

twitchquotes: How the ever loving *** is this guy getting 24k people to watch him play HS? It's like having a small country collectively decide to grow an interest in watching paint dry. Boggles the mind. Really.
twitch chat
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Tyler1 is my future mirror

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twitch chat
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KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing