[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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LS aka "Leaked Script"

twitchquotes: LS aka "Leaked Script" is a genius caster/commentator in the LCK and self-declared coach, who is specifically known for predicting picks during draft and his spot-on analysis, all thanks to his ability to read the script.
twitch chat
August 2019
imls

League of Legends

Ape

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ– โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ– โ–โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
February 2015

HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจHAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom๐Ÿ—ฝloving hoes๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…who put the ๐Ÿ‘in IM๐Ÿ‘MENT๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›looks like donald๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿคฎfinally got caught๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โœˆ๏ธtrying to call daddy ukraine๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ to take out hoe biden๐Ÿง“๐Ÿป๐Ÿ”ฅ but now we need to RIDE๐Ÿ‡CUMgress ๐Ÿ›raw๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘… so they canโ€™t back down๏ธ, send this to๐Ÿ”Ÿof your๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿปwokest๐Ÿ“woes๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŒor say ๐Ÿ‘‹BYE to ur independence๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฉeating that IMPEACHMENT๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธDAY๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธASS ๐Ÿ‘is the only๏ธ ethical๐Ÿ‘Œform of consumption๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹under late capitalism๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ’ถso WEโ€™RE ALL EATING TODAYโ˜ญโ˜ญโ˜ญ๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…
twitch chat
December 2019

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius

twitchquotes: Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius. We have never before had the ability to step inside the mind of these great ADC players - thanks to streaming and his willingness to commentate what he is thinking, we now have a glimpse into how much deeper they are thinking about the game than the rest of us. What a time to be alive!
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

League of Legends

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