[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Fortnite, as a game, shows the failures of capitalism

twitchquotes: Fortnite, as a game, shows the failures of capitalism. The whole premise of buying VBucks for bling and novelty with real money creates a divide between the rich and the poor over something completely useless. The struggle to compete for weapons in game shows how people who get lucky will win - if, under a communistic style - Fortnite started with everyone sharing the same weapons, only then will the best at the game win the royale. Now you see, “the game” and “Fortnite” can easily be replaced with “working” and “society”, and you have the description of communism. By underlining these basic errors in such a system Fortnite acts as perfect communist propoganda. Workers of the world, unite!
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Here in my garage

twitchquotes: Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought. It’s like the billionaire Warren Buffett says, “the more you learn, the more you earn.”
twitch chat
August 2018

PC vs console youtube comment

Says the poor brainless console peasant. No mods, no money to achieve high performance, no creativity to set up your own devices. Calling me pathetic lol, I actually work and gather money for Gaming PC whilst you console peasants probably beg to your parents for buying you a console. So tell me, have you been a good brat by doing house chores?
June 2021

Surprised anime girl

⣇⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣟⣟⢟⢟⢝⠵⡝⣿⡿⢂⣼⣿⣷⣌⠩⡫⡻⣝⠹⢿⣿⣷ ⡆⣿⣆⠱⣝⡵⣝⢅⠙⣿⢕⢕⢕⢕⢝⣥⢒⠅⣿⣿⣿⡿⣳⣌⠪⡪⣡⢑⢝⣇ ⡆⣿⣿⣦⠹⣳⣳⣕⢅⠈⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢈⢆⠟⠋⠉⠁⠉⠉⠁⠈⠼⢐⢕⢽ ⡗⢰⣶⣶⣦⣝⢝⢕⢕⠅⡆⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣴⠏⣠⡶⠛⡉⡉⡛⢶⣦⡀⠐⣕⢕ ⡝⡄⢻⢟⣿⣿⣷⣕⣕⣅⣿⣔⣕⣵⣵⣿⣿⢠⣿⢠⣮⡈⣌⠨⠅⠹⣷⡀⢱⢕ ⡝⡵⠟⠈⢀⣀⣀⡀⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⢈⡋⠴⢿⡟⣡⡇⣿⡇⡀⢕ ⡝⠁⣠⣾⠟⡉⡉⡉⠻⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣦⣥⣿⡇⡿⣰⢗⢄ ⠁⢰⣿⡏⣴⣌⠈⣌⠡⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣉⣉⣁⣄⢖⢕⢕⢕ ⡀⢻⣿⡇⢙⠁⠴⢿⡟⣡⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣵⣿ ⡻⣄⣻⣿⣌⠘⢿⣷⣥⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⢄⠻⣿⣟⠿⠦⠍⠉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟ ⡕⡑⣑⣈⣻⢗⢟⢞⢝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⠿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠ ⡝⡵⡈⢟⢕⢕⢕⢕⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣈⠙ ⡝⡵⡕⡀⠑⠳⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡠⡲⡫⡪⡪⡣
July 2020

Weebs

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say “OH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say “see you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter “u” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say “OH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

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