[Copypasta] If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/kj17ga/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_december_24_2020/gguwkak
I used to be a real ad
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Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Little dribble drop

You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youā€™re done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itā€™s only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had. Just happened. The fucking worst.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. Itā€™s not a story any bull would tell you. Itā€™s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsā€¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishā€¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

Mr. Musk I donā€™t feel so good.

Mr. Musk I donā€™t feel so good. ą¼¼ 恤 ā—•_ ā—• ą¼½ć¤ ą¼¼ 恤 ā—•_ ā—• ::;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . ą¼¼ 恤 ā—•_ :;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ą¼¼ 恤 :;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . . ą¼¼ ;::,':;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
ascii art
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Iā€™m a simple guy

Iā€™m a simple guy. I donā€™t know about all these fancy ā€œfinancial instrumentsā€ or ā€œmarket dynamicsā€ or ā€œwhere the clit is.ā€ I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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