[Copypasta] If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/kj17ga/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_december_24_2020/gguwkak
I used to be a real ad
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MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good β€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies πŸš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Jim Cramer responds to GameStop apes on Twitter

But you know what? I miss the good people whom i used to interact before these pathetic parodies of human minds ascended from the gates of hell. Well, now that i know they are going broke and just care about Gamestop and pump and dump schemes I will end their tyranny. NOW
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord πŸ€–+🀴 Jeff Divorcedzos πŸ’” Salmonella πŸ” Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🀑 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole πŸ₯’πŸ’¦ πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³ πŸ₯’ Z πŸ₯’ U πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ Tim 🍎 Bottom πŸ…±οΈENIS Jack Ma MIA πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πŸ™βœοΈ
March 2021

WallStreetBets

I am financially ruined

I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. I’m too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I can’t even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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