[Copypasta] Incel Revolutionary Party

twitchquotes: I am going to start a new party called "Incel Revolutionary Party" or "IRP". Almost all women will be taken into concentration camps and they get a handpicked incel boyfriend. The uglier the incel is, the better looking the girl is. Incels that are good looking will only get the fattest and ugliest girlfriends. Non-incels (infidels) will be taken into conversion camps and they will be forced to eat junk food, game all day, never go outside, and never work out. They will be converted to incels. Non-incel women that are against the forced girlfriend laws will also be converted into "incel-allies" by watching state-sponsored propaganda videos that are all about how sad incels are and how much they need girlfriends. There will also be some Chads, Brads and Tyrones that will not be converted into incels because the women who are incels (femcels) will not have to be a forced girlfriend. They will get a free boyfriend. If the chosen chads, brads and tyrones are against the laws, they will also be forced to watch propaganda videos about sad femcels are.
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son

twitchquotes: Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021

Dear streamer, I will be joining the doubters

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ Sadge ๐““๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป [streamer name] , ๐“˜ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฐ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฏ๐“พ๐“ต๐“ต๐”‚ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ถ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ช ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ณ๐“ธ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ผ.
twitch chat
February 2021

Hi Kripp, this is Pogoโ€™s mom

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Pogoโ€™s mom. I noticed you havenโ€™t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesnโ€™t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "Weโ€™re never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why donโ€™t you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think itโ€™s a sham. Itโ€™s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic companyโ€™s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020
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