[Copypasta] Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands

twitchquotes: Hey guys, [streamer] has partnered with Twitch to help spread awareness about COVID-19. Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands to earn 100 bits!
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously

twitchquotes: Dear Twitch Chat users. Do u think its funny to copy pasta everything you see? Copy that, pasta that. Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously, and when i come here my mind explodes. Please, respect copy pasta. For me, it's about religion.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

One time my mother called me a son of a bitch...

twitchquotes: One time my mother called me a son of a bitch, so I hit her because no one talks trash about my mother, then I hit myself because no one hits my mother, she then hit me because no one hits her son and then hit herself because no one hits me, so I hit her because no one hits my mother. cant stop me
twitch chat
January 2016
Trump

Nigerian Prince Haseem

twitchquotes: Hi I am Nigerian Prince Haseem, i have 200 million dollars but cannot see, if you would do my runes i would share all my riches with you. Just email me your rune page and password
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

This ELO IS UNFAIR

twitchquotes: SwiftRage :loudspeaker: THIS ELO IS UNFAIR! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: TIMTHEFATMAN IS IN THERE! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: LOSING EVERY GAME SESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: GIVING HIS TEAM DEPRESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker:
twitch chat
December 2016
TimTheTatman

Overwatch

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