[Copypasta] Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
May 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

Kripp plays Armor Up Warrior

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Armor Up Warrior. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

What Is This + Ratio

what is this + L + ratio + wrong + get a job + unfunny + you fell off + never liked you anyway + cope + ur allergic to gluten + don't care + cringe ur a kid + literally shut the fuck up + galileo did it better + your avi was made in MS Excel + ur bf is kinda ugly + i have more subscribers + owned + ur a toddler + reverse double take back + u sleep in a different bedroom from your wife + get rekt + i said it better + u smell + copy + who asked + dead game + seethe + ur a coward + stay mad + you main yuumi + aired + you drive a fiat 500 + the hood watches xqc now + yo mama + ok + currently listening to rizzle kicks without u. plus ur mind numbingly stupid plus ur voice is ronald mcdonald.
May 2022

Ratio

πŸ‘…HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS πŸ†

πŸ‘―hey SlutS! πŸ‘―πŸ’… Now that we got our yearly 🎁 FUCK πŸ‘ŠπŸΌfrom good ole Saint DICK πŸŽ…πŸΎ it’s FINALLY New Years Eve!!!πŸ—“πŸΎπŸ‘… 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ was a LONGG πŸ†πŸ† and HARD πŸ˜‰βœŠπŸ»πŸ˜« year.... we laughedπŸ˜‚πŸ˜†πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ We cried πŸ˜’πŸ˜–πŸ‘Ž We coughed πŸ’¦πŸ€’πŸ€§ we fucked GOODπŸ‘πŸ» dickπŸ† and 😡😡BAD πŸ˜” dick, 😫 BUTT πŸ‘ now let’s πŸ‘πŸ‘Celebrate πŸ™ŒπŸŽ‰ and watch that πŸ’¦πŸ†BIG πŸ‘… BALL πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ Drop πŸ‘„πŸ‘„ on us! πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ So spread πŸ‘πŸ½ those πŸ‘πŸ½ legs πŸ‘πŸ½ and count down ⬇️ from πŸ”Ÿ until your man πŸ’ͺ🏾 pops πŸŽ‰ his CORK 🍾🍾 into that thirsty πŸ‘…thirsty πŸ‘… hole! πŸ₯°πŸ₯° Send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ COCK-BEGGING βœŠπŸ»πŸ† WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED πŸ‘πŸ˜± for the next 3️⃣6️⃣5️⃣ days 😍😍😍
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

New Years

Holiday Emoji

NSFW

Holiday

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. β€œWhat?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. β€œI want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, β€œI want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. β€œUh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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