[Copypasta] Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
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A huge hurricane is coming QTs way

twitchquotes: Its 2019. A huge hurricane is coming QTs way. As theyre packing, they noticed they only have room for 3 pets in their car. A sad voice opens up in QTs mouth - "Dapper, No FeelsBadMan ". He was left behind.
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen and still be considred a vegan? Vegans don't eat dairy, semen is a protein containing substance from a mammal, that's very close to dairy. The fact that it comes from a mammal also means it's an "animal product" ... Sure you might not be hurting anyone, but does that seriously mean you would consider yourself a vegan if you swallowed semen? I don't mean any of this in offense, in anyway.. just wondered what the consensus was.
January 2021

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I sold my sandwich to learn about the Lucian level 2 power spike

twitchquotes: I sᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ sᴀɴᴅᴡɪᴄʜ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ Lᴜᴄɪᴀɴ ʟᴇᴠᴇʟ 2 ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ sᴘɪᴋᴇ. Jᴜsᴛ ᴀs ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛɪᴇʀ ᴇʟᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ, I ᴅɪᴇᴅ ᴏғ sᴛᴀʀᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. Iғ ᴏɴʟʏ I ʜᴀᴅ ᴇᴀᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏᴀsᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴜɴᴀ sᴀʟᴀᴅ ʜᴏᴀɢɪᴇ, I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴛʜɪs
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie
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