[Copypasta] Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
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May 2020
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Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022

Sussy baka (thiccc crewmate)

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣐⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⣂⣀⣀⡒⠶⣶⣤⣤⣬⣀⡀⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢡⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣈⣉⡛⣿⣿⣿⡌⢇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠺⠟⣉⣴⡿⠛⣩⣾⣎⠳⠿⠛⣋⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣀ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠘⠛ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣀⣀⣠⣤ ⠄⠄⣀⣀⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣩⠤⠾⠄⠛⠋⠉⢉ ⠄⠺⠿⠛⠛⠃⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣠⣴⣶⣼⣿
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September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

OkaygeBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡡⠔⠒⠒⠈⢽⣿⢋⠔⠋⠁⠈⠉⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢀⠊⠀⢠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⠇⠀⢸⣿⠦⡀⠀⠈⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⣾⠏⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣤⠇⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⡀⠀⠿⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⡦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣮ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⢻⡘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠛⢷⣌⣉⣉⣩⠽⠛⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣀⠀⠀⠙⠲⠤⣭⡷⠶⠶⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠘⢦⣀⠀⠈⠓⠲⠤⢄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠋⢹⣟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠈⠳⢦⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⣁⣀⠠⠤⠤⣾⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠙⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠒⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠖⠒⢚⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡦⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠰⠶⠚⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠶⢤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⡔⠀⠀⢢⡀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⣹⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠿⠶⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⣩⡟⠁⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⢱⣤⣤⠃⠀⡶⠁⢀⣠⠶⠛⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡉⢹⡇⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⢀⡎⠀⠈⣤⡜⠀⠀⠉⢻⡦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⢹⠀⡟⠙⢿⣄⠀⣦⣀⣠⠔⠋⠙⣇⣸⠛⠛⠛⣻⣶⡄⠀⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⠁⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠤⠤⠬⠿⠥⠤⠤⠬⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠤⠤⠭⠥⠤⢤⣾⠟⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠸⣦⡴⠃⠀⣠⠶⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣄⢻⣇⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣾⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠜⠀⡄⠀⢠⡠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⠀⢤⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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October 2021

Pepe

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

HELLO EU? How many games did you win?

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HELLO EU? 📞 4Head How many games did you win today ? 📞 4Head
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May 2017

League of Legends

EU vs NA

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