[Copypasta] Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/not_esports/status/1115258924821819392
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Deathrattle is "Lose the game"

twitchquotes: Guys what if Acidic swamp ooze was a 30/30, but its deathrattle was "Lose the game"? Would this be balanced? Should I contact bilbarzard??
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Red crew mate

πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Žβ€Ž β€ŽπŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž β€Ž πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯
ascii art
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

And for a moment the two felt unsalted

twitchquotes: I love salt too.” Reynad confessed, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp’s and smirked. β€œAre you trying to top-deck me?” protests Kripparroni, as Saltnad blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. β€œWeak tempo play, Reynad.” The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and for a moment the two felt unsalted.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

salty

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