[Copypasta] It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020
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More Copypastas

THIS IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE HUMAN, DO NOT COPY PASTA

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid THIS IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE HUMAN, DO NOT COPY PASTA THIS MESSAGE MrDestructoid
twitch chat
August 2017

Viewbots

It's pride month,Coming out as impostersexual.

It's pride month and I a 14 year old white girl have decided that I'm sexually attracted to among us,I cannot hold my feelings for the sussy imposter anymore. SUS SUS SUS,there I came,and it was there that I knew,it was the second cuming of Jesus Christ.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

Sense of pride and accomplishment

twitchquotes: The ๐Ÿ’ฐ intent ๐Ÿ’ฐ is ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ provide ๐Ÿ’ฐ players ๐Ÿ’ฐ with ๐Ÿ’ฐ a ๐Ÿ’ฐ sense ๐Ÿ’ฐ of ๐Ÿ’ฐ pride ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ accomplishment ๐Ÿ’ฐ for ๐Ÿ’ฐ unlocking ๐Ÿ’ฐ different ๐Ÿ’ฐ heroes. ๐Ÿ’ฐ As ๐Ÿ’ฐ for ๐Ÿ’ฐ cost, ๐Ÿ’ฐ we ๐Ÿ’ฐ selected ๐Ÿ’ฐ initial ๐Ÿ’ฐ values ๐Ÿ’ฐ based ๐Ÿ’ฐ upon ๐Ÿ’ฐ data ๐Ÿ’ฐ from ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ Open ๐Ÿ’ฐ Beta ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ other ๐Ÿ’ฐ adjustments ๐Ÿ’ฐ made ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ milestone ๐Ÿ’ฐ rewards ๐Ÿ’ฐ before ๐Ÿ’ฐ launch. ๐Ÿ’ฐ Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ other ๐Ÿ’ฐ things, ๐Ÿ’ฐ we're ๐Ÿ’ฐ looking ๐Ÿ’ฐ at ๐Ÿ’ฐ average ๐Ÿ’ฐ per-player ๐Ÿ’ฐ credit ๐Ÿ’ฐ earn ๐Ÿ’ฐ rates ๐Ÿ’ฐ on ๐Ÿ’ฐ a ๐Ÿ’ฐ daily ๐Ÿ’ฐ basis, ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ we'll ๐Ÿ’ฐ be ๐Ÿ’ฐ making ๐Ÿ’ฐ constant ๐Ÿ’ฐ adjustments ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ ensure ๐Ÿ’ฐ that ๐Ÿ’ฐ players ๐Ÿ’ฐ have ๐Ÿ’ฐ challenges ๐Ÿ’ฐ that ๐Ÿ’ฐ are ๐Ÿ’ฐ compelling, ๐Ÿ’ฐ rewarding, ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ of ๐Ÿ’ฐ course ๐Ÿ’ฐ attainable ๐Ÿ’ฐ via ๐Ÿ’ฐ gameplay. We ๐Ÿ’ฐ appreciate ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ candid ๐Ÿ’ฐ feedback, ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ passion ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ community ๐Ÿ’ฐ has ๐Ÿ’ฐ put ๐Ÿ’ฐ forth ๐Ÿ’ฐ around ๐Ÿ’ฐ the ๐Ÿ’ฐ current ๐Ÿ’ฐ topics ๐Ÿ’ฐ here ๐Ÿ’ฐ on ๐Ÿ’ฐ Reddit, ๐Ÿ’ฐ our ๐Ÿ’ฐ forums ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ across ๐Ÿ’ฐ numerous ๐Ÿ’ฐ social ๐Ÿ’ฐ media ๐Ÿ’ฐ outlets. Our ๐Ÿ’ฐ team ๐Ÿ’ฐ will ๐Ÿ’ฐ continue ๐Ÿ’ฐ to ๐Ÿ’ฐ make ๐Ÿ’ฐ changes ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ monitor ๐Ÿ’ฐ community ๐Ÿ’ฐ feedback ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ update ๐Ÿ’ฐ everyone ๐Ÿ’ฐ as ๐Ÿ’ฐ soon ๐Ÿ’ฐ and ๐Ÿ’ฐ as ๐Ÿ’ฐ often ๐Ÿ’ฐ as ๐Ÿ’ฐ we ๐Ÿ’ฐ can. ๐Ÿ’ฐ
twitch chat
November 2017

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
August 2021

Shrek

Navy Seal

Text-to-Speech Playing