[Copypasta] It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021

joe biden said he was the impostor

I πŸ‘ met joe biden at πŸ‘ΈπŸ’¦ 3 πŸŽ†πŸ•‘ am πŸ‘ he said πŸ’¬πŸ–• he was the πŸ„πŸ€› impostor guys β™‚ should πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘« i πŸ‘† believe 🏻 him πŸ‘¨πŸ˜© im 🏼 soo scared ❌ i dont 😑 know πŸ€”β“ what to πŸ‘πŸšΆ do πŸ‘Œ help πŸ’ me πŸ’‹ out. πŸ€”
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE??????

Did someone say sus 😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’― RED IS SO SUSSSSS πŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🀬😑🀬😑🀬😑🀬🀬😑🀬🀬😑 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜  Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

What does "Pog" mean?

Yes. But what does β€œPog” mean are you trying to be mean if you are you have, if not then I will tell you again. WHAT. DOES. IT. MEAN. Because I do not know what your talking about bro I don’t know if you are trying to be funny/make a joke or if your being mean? So tell me if your trying to be funny or rude because I don’t know what your talking about.
January 2021

Kripp's the best arena player in the world

twitchquotes: All you idiots pretend like Kripp misplays, but really you know he's the best arena player in the world and that he hasn't made a misplay in the last 6 months, he just gets super unlucky you ignorant fools. You guys are so dumb that you'll probably copy and paste this message too, you morons.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing