[Copypasta] It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?"

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?" The teacher fainted.
April 2021

Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Plankton

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€ โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019

Please ask your opponent to emote Kripp

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, whenever I watch you it is hard for me to tell if my video has frozen or not because your face never moves. Please ask your opponent to emote so I know it's live!
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing