[Copypasta] TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Breaking Bad Walter White / Heisenberg

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ascii art
October 2021

Endgame spoilers

twitchquotes: I just saw endgame, and it was pretty good, but there were a few weird things. I thought it was strange how the Russo Brothers decided to render Thanos’ erect penis in such vivid detail. The veins were so perfectly done I couldn’t even tell his cock wasn’t real. Another thing I found weird was when Black Panther broke the fourth wall and gave the audience the n-word pass. I did appreciate it, but it would feel more in place in a Deadpool movie. Overall, it was still excellent, but I think that they definitely need to reconsider some things.
twitch chat
May 2019

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019

He fills my butt with his Blood Thirster

twitchquotes: I sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴄʜᴇᴇᴋs ғᴏʀ QT. Hᴇ ᴘᴇɴᴇᴛʀᴀᴛᴇs ᴍᴇ. I ᴄᴀɴ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛ ᴛᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ. I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʜɪᴍ. Hᴇ ʀᴏᴀʀs ᴀ ᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ ʀᴏᴀʀ ᴀs ʜᴇ ғɪʟʟʟs ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs Bʟᴏᴏᴅ Tʜɪʀsᴛᴇʀ.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie
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