[Copypasta] NEVER SUBBED NEVER DONATED

Wreck-it Ralph

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September 2021

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

August 2021

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

March 2021

I sexually Identify as

Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?

According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.

November 2021

Who Asked?

Jumping Mario

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November 2014

[Copypasta] NEVER SUBBED NEVER DONATED

Wreck-it Ralph

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke

I sexually Identify as

Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?

Who Asked?

Jumping Mario

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