[Copypasta] i just love typing in chat K A P P A

twitchquotes: i just love typing in chat K A P P A it makes me feel so safe and good inside, its almost like eating Fruit Loops(TM) with sum good ass milk watching Dexter's Laboratory (Cartoon Network back when it was good) on a Sunday Morning back when my parents were still together, so I will now do it: Kappa
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage

It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her. The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife. When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18. We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything. When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner. We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her. It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet. Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love. But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite. I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me. I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it. We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
May 2022

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Spiderman Logo

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–„โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ–โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

The sweat begins to form at qts brow

twitchquotes: The sweat begins to form at qts brow. His fingers are clammy, his neckbeard ruffled. After dying yet again he sees the hope of getting challenger fade away. "oh my god i cant believe we didn't get that guy," he proclaims. This is the beginning of the end for imaqtpie.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing