[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Take my energy Kripp

twitchquotes: เผผ ใค โ—•_โ—• เผฝใค MorphinTime TAKE MY ENERGY KRIPP เผผ ใค โ—•_โ—• เผฝใค MorphinTime
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Can the mods ban us all?

twitchquotes: can :thinking: the :thinking: mods :thinking: ban :thinking: us :thinking: all :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017

MODS

Classic

Surprised face

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ
ascii art
March 2015

Try being nicer when you say that Calvin

twitchquotes: Try being nicer when you say that Calvin so it comes across as constructive and less toxic that way you won't hurt anyone's feelings and everyone will be happy :)
twitch chat
October 2018
aimbotcalvin

Overwatch

im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend

twitchquotes: im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend, yesterday i always commented how nice poki looked instead of making weird sexual comments like the weridos there
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing