[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Winston is basically an Anime character

twitchquotes: If you think about it, Winston is basically an Anime character. He has that epic anime leap, and that cliche genius anime glasses. I bet he gets all the ladies with his wit and charismatic humor. I wish I could be Winston, but I'm already winston :(
twitch chat
January 2019

Overwatch

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

sumSmash

⣽⣤⣄⠟⡟⣄⣀⣼⣟⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢻⣿⡟⠘⠓⠙⠛⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠻⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠟⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⡙⢿⣿⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⠛⠯⠛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣛⣑⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣦⣀⠈⢨⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢩⠄⢈⠄⠤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⣧⢧⡤⣤⣀⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄ ⣴⣿⡿⠛⠈⣧⠘⠉⠳⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⠂⠸⢷⡄⠈⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢃⠉⢀⠛⠄⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣦⣴⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Summt1g

YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™

twitchquotes: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
August 2019

Dude I own this NFT

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you're showing what you stole directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.
November 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Text-to-Speech Playing