[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Captain Jean-Luc Picard facepalm

...........................................________........................ ....................................,.-โ€˜โ€...................``~.,.................. .............................,.-โ€...................................โ€œ-.,............ .........................,/...............................................โ€:,........ .....................,?......................................................\,..... .................../...........................................................,}.... ................./......................................................,:`^`..}.... .............../...................................................,:โ€........./..... ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../..... ............./__.(.....โ€œ~-,_..............................,:`........../........ .........../(_....โ€~,_........โ€œ~,_....................,:`........_/........... ..........{.._$;_......โ€=,_.......โ€œ-,_.......,.-~-,},.~โ€;/....}........... ...........((.....*~_.......โ€=-._......โ€œ;,,./`..../โ€............../............ ...,,,___.\`~,......โ€œ~.,....................`.....}............../............. ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-โ€............... ............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\................... ..............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__........... ,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,.... .....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\........................ ...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\....................... ................................`:,,...........................`\..............__.. .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``....... ........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\............... ...................................,
June 2021

You see, I have a very high IQ

twitchquotes: You see, I have a very high IQ. Do you want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyways, I have a high IQ because I watch this amazing television show (which to my surprise piqued my interest unlike many other television shows) Rick and Morty. This show is remarkably intellectual (Like me, mind you) and not like any other animated shows. My most favorite joke from the show is "WUBALUBADUBDUB" it makes me giddy inside and knowing the common folk wont understand the joke makes me laugh even harder!
twitch chat
March 2019

Rick and Morty

I want to come. Not on your face

twitchquotes: I want to come. Not on your face. Not on your titties. I want to come over whenever you need me. Those late nights when you have too much on your mind. Or you have nothing on your mind. Iโ€™ll be there, whenever you need me.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus

twitchquotes: Hey Sneaky, I think chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus. We're all sex starved weebs and when you play Xayah and Varus we get to see you get your shit pushed in
twitch chat
March 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

"kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop?

twitchquotes: "kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop? When will this stuff stop being HILARIOUS to people? I mean seriously is there no originality left on this world? Are we all just monkey see monkey do? I don't know about you guys but I'm sick of every time I look up a game, or a forum post, anything really I have to scroll past like 50 of these.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing