[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

I'm watching you

twitchquotes: เผผเบˆู„อœโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด im watching you
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Kripp and Tony Gambino Casino in Reno

twitchquotes: ษขแดแดแด… แด…แด€ส แดแด„แด›แด€แด ษชแด€ษด, แด€สŸ แด˜แด€แด„ษชษดแด สœแด‡ส€แด‡, แด„แด€สŸสŸษชษดษข ษชษด า“ส€แดแด แด›สœแด‡ แด›แดษดส ษขแด€แดส™ษชษดแด แด„แด€sษชษดแด ษชษด ส€แด‡ษดแด. ษช'แด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€ษดแด… สแดแดœส€ แด˜แด€แด˜แด€ส€ส€ษชษดแด แด›แด sแด›แด€ส€ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ สŸแด€แด›แด‡sแด› แดา“ แดส แด›ส€ษชแด แดา“ ษดแด‡แดโ”€แด˜แดส€ษดแดส€ษชษดแดs, "า“ษชสŸษชแด˜ษชษดแดโ”€สŸแด€แด›ษชษดแดs sสœแดแด ษชษดษข แดŠแด€สŸแด€แด˜แด‡ษดแดs แดœแด˜ แด›สœแด‡ษชส€ แด˜แด‡แด‡โ”€สœแดสŸแด‡s เซฉ,"แด…ษชส€แด‡แด„แด›แด‡แด… ส™ส ฯ™แดœแด‡ษดแด›ษชษด แด›แด€ส€แด€ษดแด›ษชษดแด. ษขษชแด แด‡ แดแด‡ แด€ แด„แด€สŸสŸ, แด€แดษชษขแด
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Spiderman Logo

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–„โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ–โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing