[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I'm Summit1g, and this is my stream

twitchquotes: I'm Summit1g, and this is my stream. I PUBG here with my man JoshOG. Everything in here has a story and a meme. One thing I've learned after 5 years - you never know WHO is gonna camp at the other side of that bridge.
twitch chat
July 2017
Summt1g

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

Brazilian No. 1 Futbol Player Eduardo Pasterinho

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! Iᴛ ɪs I, Bʀᴀᴢɪʟɪᴀɴ Nᴏ. 1 ғᴜᴛʙᴏʟ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ Eᴅᴜᴀʀᴅᴏ Pᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ. Aғᴛᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ɢᴏᴛ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴇʀᴍᴀɴ ᴛʀʏʜᴀʀᴅs, I ғᴇᴀʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ. Pʟs ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙʏ ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ ᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍʏ sᴀʟᴀʀʏ. Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

forsenPirate

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠑⠢⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣤⣾⢿⣿⣧⢠⣤⡀⠄⠄⠉⠒⠠⢄⣀⣀⣀⣻⣿⣿ ⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣳⣿⣷⣿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⠒⠤⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠟⠁⠷⠾⠝⠶⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣵⡶⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠾⠿⣶⡄⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣯⣴⢦⣼⢳⡄⣿⣿⢫⣿⣀⠘⡛⢿⡛⢷⣤⣜⡻⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣜⣫⣿⢶⣟⡽⣿⠡⣶⣗⡲⠖⣯⠼⣿⡿⢗⣨⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⣏⣾⡿⠗⠿⠷⠉⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣤⠟⢻⢥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣚⠕⠄⠤⣬⣿⣤⣤⠄⠄⠌⠳⣽⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⣉⢀⣠⣴⣶⣾⣶⣿⡗⢹⣿⣏⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣮⣍⠙⢿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣠⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢸⣟⠸⠿⠋⣴⣶⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⡟⠃⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠃⠐⠉⠁⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⡤⠚⣠⣾⣿⠟⠄⣤⢠⣤⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣴⣿⠿⠉⠄⠄⡟⠘⣿⠄⠻⠾⠷⠶⣶⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Amaz and Kripp

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing