[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's bike accident

twitchquotes: Toronto authorities reported that Octavian "kripp" Morosan passed away last night in the Toronto east general Hospital after a bike accident near his home
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I am a heron

twitchquotes: i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
twitch chat
July 2014
Stivitybobo

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

He knew he was a sellout

twitchquotes: On November 10th, 2014, Octavian "Kripparian" Morosan was found to be severely delusional. He began wandering around his home, mumbling 'brofist' and 'subscribe'. As his weak fist was placed gently on the webcam, a single tear ran down his cheek. He knew he was a sellout.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

sellout

Imagine complaining about aim assist

twitchquotes: Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We can’t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.
twitch chat
February 2019

Fortnite

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