[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Little Donger and the BDC

twitchquotes: Qtpie I need help. I have a little donger so I am unable to join the BDC. Please send help and advice otherwise I will forever be a part of the small donger squad. Promote me from the SDS to the BDC please it is all I have ever wanted.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019

Maple leaf

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣴⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢠⣷⣤⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⣦⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent

twitchquotes: They say 9 out of 10 twitch users are dumb. I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Classic

Crewmate Amogus Ghost

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡷⠶⠒⠒⠒⠶⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡄⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⡷⠶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣤⡴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠶⢤⣤⣤⠶⢾⡿ ⠀⠀⠸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡾⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⠶⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠞⠛⠒⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠶⠴⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing