[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Redditor Soy Wojak

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠤⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣸⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠊⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠐⠂⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠀⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⣈⣁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⣉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠘⠉⠀⠈⠑⠦⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣤⠴⠖⠒⠶⠤⠤⠴⠶⠶⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣃⡤⠤⠴⠖⠒⠒⠶⠤⠤⣴⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡿⠉⠁⠈⣿⠀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⢠⡇⡇⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢻⣄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠶⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠧⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣸⠃⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠖⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠤⠤⢼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠧⣠⡤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⠼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢹⠕⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠋⣀⣾⠋⢸⡇⠙⡿⠶⡶⢦⡄⠙⠒⠤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠬⣽⢂⡥⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣾⡏⢸⣀⣸⣇⣀⡇⠀⣧⢸⢹⣦⡀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢄⣻⣫⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⣿⣨⠃⠀⠈⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⢰⠃⢰⠀⡉⢡⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢸⣇⢌⠀⡆⠈⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⢠⠏⠀⠳⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢿⣅⠊⢸⡀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣸⠐⠲⢬⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠖⠒⡟⠑⢯⠉⠉⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡇⢐⣗⣟⠨⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣠⠤⠖⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⢜⣏⠉⢹⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣀⢰⡿⠀⠀⣿⠉⠒⠦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⣢⠩⣮⢸⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⢤⡿⠚⡠⢂⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡱⣹⣾⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⢸⣞⠵⠪⡠⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢎⣿⡆⢀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠈⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡁⢂⠀⡀⠤⢀⢰⠀⡄⡁⡀⢄⢀⠀⡶⣾⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢶⡃⣄⠆⡀⢋⢸⢰⠰⢀⠸⢀⣓⣇⣹⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢸⢻⠪⣧⣘⣼⣼⣔⣣⣈⣴⡟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

Reddit

moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity

twitchquotes: Don't get it twisted chat. moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity or for a better emote or anything. It was a selfish desire to personally absolve the broadcaster of his poor use of ultimate abilities. He wants to forget, but this we cannot allow. Every McCree Q to respawn, we moon2LULT. Every Winston ult jumping off the edge, we moon2LULT. Every time he presses Q at 20 HP and dies instantly, we moon2LULT. You must be vigilant, vertical scrolling communication room. moon2LULT
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Thijs please remove your shirt immediately

twitchquotes: Hello @Thijs this is the Belastingdienst - the Tax and Customs Administration of the Netherlands. We have founds some discrepancies in your tax return. In order to correct your mistakes and avoid getting a fine - please remove your shirt immediately. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Is KogMaw's passive account specific?

twitchquotes: Hi Michael, I saw Doublelift playing Kogmaw yesterday and he didn't seem to have the same cool passive you have. Was his game bugged or is the passive account specific?
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

monkaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠸⠄⢀⣀⠠⠤⠤⣀⡀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠦⠘⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣧⣄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣙⢿ ⠁⢸⠀⠸⠅⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡉⠙⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⡉⢻⣿⡆ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣶⡿⠟⠸⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠶⠬⠾⠿⢃ ⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⠤⠬⠭⠁⣤⠤⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠠⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠒⠒⠂⠰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣧⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡶⠶⠶⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⠿⠛⣡⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⡶⢟⣸⣿⣿ ⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing