[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
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More Copypastas

I highlight every message

twitchquotes: Lmao you call yourself a [insert streamer] fan? I'm fucking loaded on channel points bro. I highlight every message because I'm just that jacked. Try talking in chat again when you're a true fan
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

Riot's script for Worlds

twitchquotes: The year is 2046. Faker's mind has been uploaded to a robotic host. With SKT's 33rd World Championship victory, every champion in the game now has SKT skins. NA still hasn't reached semis, EU is still salty, and China continues to choke. Such is Riot's script.
twitch chat
October 2016

League of Legends

REVERSE BIG BANG

twitchquotes: เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ UNFOLLOW UNSUB UNDONATE UNBORN FORMAT:C DELETE SYSTEM32 CRAWL BACK INTO MOTHER REVERSE BIG BANG เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ riot เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ

Applejack

โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘.โ€™.โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“
November 2014

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing