[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

TOUCH IT KRIPP

twitchquotes: ╰U╯☜(◉ɷ◉ ) TOUCH THE DONGER KRIPP
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Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his games—casual.
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Copy whatever that brain dead moron types

twitchquotes: I swear all this chat ever does is pick the one idiot with the lowest IQ and copy whatever that brain dead moron types.
twitch chat
November 2017

Classic

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Kripp and Larry Page, CEO of Google

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, Lᴀʀʀʏ Pᴀɢᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, CEO ᴏғ Gᴏᴏɢʟᴇ. Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴘʏʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ Eɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ™. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing