[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as Kripp

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as Kripp. Ever since i was a boy , I dreamed about playing kid's card game while complaining about RNG for a living. People say that being kripp isn't possible I'm ****** Retarded , but I don't care ,I'm beatiful. I'm having a crappy computer setup installed in my house , along with marrying a woman I can force to do all my cooking so I can complain twice as efficiently , If you don't accept me you're a Krippophobe and need to check your Krippileges
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

When a streamer complains it's seen as letting some steam out...

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ ᴀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴs ɪᴛ's sᴇᴇɴ ᴀs ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ. Bᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛʀᴀᴘs ᴀ 30150-ALQAIDA ʙᴏᴍʙᴠᴇsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴏɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ 15 ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴏɴ ʀᴀᴅɪᴜs ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ HᴇᴀᴅQᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴀ Pʏʀᴏʙʟᴀsᴛ... ʜᴇ's ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ sᴀʟᴛʏ?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

lol not actually laughing

twitchquotes: Hi tyler1, i was just wondering as to why you type "lol" in the chat but on camera you are not actually laughing?
twitch chat
March 2019
Tyler1

Frustrated anime girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⢿⣢⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣯⣟⣿⢿⡇⢃⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄ ⠄⢿⣿⣯⣏⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣾⢿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷ ⠄⣈⣽⢾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣫⢸⣿⢿⣿⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢸⣟⢸⣿⠸⣷⣝⢻⠘⣿⣿⢸⢿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿ ⡇⣿⡿⣿⣿⢟⠛⠛⠿⡢⢻⣿⣾⣞⣿⡏⠖⢸⣿⢣⣷⡸⣇⣿⣿⣿⢼⡿⣿⣿ ⣡⢿⡷⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣶⣮⣄⣿⣏⣸⣻⣃⠭⠄⠛⠙⠛⠳⠋⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⢸⣿ ⠫⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣹⢷⣿⡼⠋ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢻⢹⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡃⣽⣿⣿⡟⠁⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⢿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⡄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⣿⣿⣾⣿⡟⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡇⠸⣆⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣇⣿⣿⢿⣿⠄⠄
June 2019

Weebs

Cybrix, could you please roleplay

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Cybrix, could you please roleplay that when you die in game, you die in real life too? Thank you. (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing