[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Big Chungus v2

๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโšช๐Ÿ—ปโšช๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ปโฌœ๐ŸŸฅโšชโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœ๐ŸŸฅโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโšชโšช๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโšชโšชโšชโšช๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโšชโšช๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโšชโšช๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ
January 2022

Mayor of Canadaland

twitchquotes: แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs แด›สœแด‡ แดแด€สแดส€ แดา“ แด„แด€ษดแด€แด…แด€สŸแด€ษดแด…. แดกแด‡ ษดแด‡แด‡แด… สแดแดœ สœแดแดแด‡ แดส sแดษด, แด‡แด แด‡ส€ sษชษดแด„แด‡ สแดแดœ สŸแด‡า“แด› แดœs แดแดœส€ sแด€สŸแด› แดษชษดแด‡s สœแด€แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ส€แดœษดษดษชษดษข แด…ส€ส. ษดแด แดษดแด‡ ษชs แด˜ส€แดแด ษชแด…ษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡sแด‡ แด˜แดแดส€ สœแด€ส€แด…-แดกแดส€แด‹ษชษดษข แด˜แด‡แดแด˜สŸแด‡ แดกษชแด›สœ แด›สœแด‡ แด›แด€ส™สŸแด‡ sแด€สŸแด› แด›สœแด‡ส แด…แด‡sแด‡ส€แด แด‡ า“แดส€ แด›สœแด‡ษชส€ แด…แด€ษชสŸส แดแด‡แด€สŸs. แดกแด‡ ษดแด‡แด‡แด… สแดแดœ แดแด„แด›แด€แด ษชแด€ษด.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Please pray for Kripp's ears

twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Your aunt has a goat in dubarino

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP. Please stop the ( เธ‡ อ ยฐ อŸส– อกยฐ)เธ‡in your chat. I am from dubai and " ( เธ‡ อ ยฐ อŸส– อกยฐ)เธ‡" means "your aunt has a goat ***" in dubarino
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporatedยฉ. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing