[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Diablo 2 is a top down shooter from the 1800s

twitchquotes: Hi Octavian, I've been watching your stream for some days now and I really enjoy it! Actually no, I hate it. You think you're always right when you play that cardgame and now you're playing some topdown shooter from the 1800's, dude grow up. Kid ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

could you please take post down (Twitter)

Excuse me, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. That is my sister who was killed by a metra train. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know her but I need you to take this down please.
April 2021

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting โ€œmake America great againโ€ over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
twitch chat
December 2020

2020 US Election

Pretending I'm Ahri

twitchquotes: Sometimes I like to put 9 towels into my anus and pretend I'm Ahri. Please no coperino and pasra macaroni, thank you! Sorry for bad England, I walk many Egyption miles to come watch.
twitch chat
December 2018

Classic

League of Legends

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dick๐Ÿ† is like 1 cm๐Ÿฅœ) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ฐ, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possible๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿค›) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanction๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the Kamasutra๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บโ™‹๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ•) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! โ›ฝโ˜ข๏ธ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽ†) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Text-to-Speech Playing