[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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August 2019
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Donald Trump

⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣰⣶⣽⣽⣷⣶⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣾⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⢿⡿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣷⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢙⣿⡇⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣞⡏⠄⢸⡿⣿⣿ ⢀⠄⠄⢀⢸⢿⣿⣟⣷⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣐⣼⣿⣷⠄⣠⣴⣤⣤⣄⢉⡄⠄⠸⠇⣿⣿ ⣶⣇⣤⡎⠘⠁⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⡶⣥⣴⣿⣿ ⢣⣛⡍⠸⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⢜⣿⣿⣿ ⠃⠋⠼⠥⠄⢠⠄⠐⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠈⠟⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸⢸⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣦⣤⣀⣤⣤⡀⢨⠿⣇⠄⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣾⡇⡀⠄⠄⢀⢢⣽⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⠛⠛⠿⠛⠻⠜⡽⣸⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⠎⢡⡭⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠺⣿⣿⣷⣾⢿⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⢶⣿⣿⡿⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠽⣿⣷⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣠⣬⣏⠉⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⡟⠿⡿⢻⠛⠟⠿⠋⠁
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December 2018

Trump shrug

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠟⠟⠟⠿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠉⠈⡀⠄⠔⠄⠅⣐⠐⡄⠄⠂⠄⠠⠑⡝⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢨⠠⡐⢈⠄⡅⠐⠨⢐⠁⠃⠔⠡⣂⢅⢊⠸⡐⠄⠁⢟⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢣⢑⡕⢄⠥⡡⢊⠌⣒⢔⡪⣖⢥⡣⣎⢞⢜⢜⢢⡁⠂⡈⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡼⡽⡮⡳⡡⢨⠱⠹⢰⠹⡚⡸⡘⡜⠜⡜⡜⡐⠡⡘⠐⣜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⡯⣯⢏⠪⡰⠔⡢⢡⢣⢕⣜⣼⣶⣮⡺⢐⠆⠅⠕⣌⠠⣯⢿⣿⢿⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣯⢯⢺⢪⢑⣀⣦⣾⣿⣿⠁⠙⡿⢿⠵⡛⣚⠶⢘⡢⡘⡆⣿⢟⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣣⣷⡑⣼⡾⡺⣘⡬⢹⠠⠐⢀⠂⠉⠉⠄⠄⠅⢌⢊⢎⢧⡫⠣⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣗⣗⢍⠊⠉⠁⠄⡷⡀⣀⢄⡑⠦⣆⣆⡢⡡⡊⢆⠕⠍⢞⢀⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣾⣗⣳⢕⢔⢐⢤⡳⡺⣿⣿⢟⠋⠈⠌⡛⣷⠳⡡⡑⢜⠌⠄⣊⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢝⢗⣝⢾⢏⣣⣱⣩⡽⠴⠖⡓⡚⠩⢃⠯⡪⢪⢪⢽⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⢕⢵⡑⡉⠏⢷⢵⡶⠶⠗⠭⠘⡈⢘⢞⢜⢵⣫⡚⡮⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣧⣻⣮⢮⡪⡀⠑⢔⢈⢄⡐⡀⠢⢅⢇⢧⢗⣗⢇⣿⣽⣾⣿⣿ ⠿⠻⣛⡽⡽⢿⢻⣖⡽⣷⣘⢯⣦⡥⣟⣾⣾⣾⣽⣽⣯⣷⣻⣮⡳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡞⡯⡯⡿⣻⢵⣻⢿⣿⣾⣞⣮⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣷⠟⠄⢿⣽⣻⡺⡽ ⡣⡫⡪⡫⡺⣹⢞⣟⡿⣿⡪⡛⢞⢟⣿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽⠟⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣟⢿
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March 2020

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

Groot in pot

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠛⠳⣄⠀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠘⣆⣿⠟⢹⠈⠁⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⡀⠀⣠⣬⡓⡿⡏⠀⢸⠀⠀⡏⠸⣦⡴⣿⠛⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡐⣽⠟⠉⡟⠙⠃⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡽⠀⠀⠀⡏⣘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⡇⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣇⡴⠛⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠙⣿⣦⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⣷⣶⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣶⣿⡿⠁⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠈⠉⠉⠁⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣴⡀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠭⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⣄⣰⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠷⠤⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⡾⠾⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠳⣄⣀⣀⡴⢾⡷⣄⡇⢸⣿⢟⣲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣼⣟⣩⡽⣿⠁⢮⠳⣼⠟⠛⣦⢉⣧⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⢠⡿⢤⡈⢧⡟⠀⠀⠈⠿⣤⡼⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⠄⠙⠻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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March 2021

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
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May 2014
Reynad
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