[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

which way would you move?

twitchquotes: If imaqtpie was in front of you, and scarra was behind you, and you were an inch deep in imaqtpie, and scarra was an inch deep in you, and you had to move an inch forwards or backwards, which way would you move?
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Golden Kappa beta test

twitchquotes: Kappa ItsBoshyTime TWITCH WARNING: ItsBoshyTime This chat has been chosen for the Golden Kappa beta test. Every 100 Kappa s, one will be Golden!
twitch chat
October 2016

Anime girl

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

Kripp BM pyroblasted the wrong guy

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, you bmed me in a card heart game, punk. Bet you thought I had forgotten, but jokes on you I'm a military trained navy ranger. I can kill a man 10 times before he even realizes. I'm right now backtracing your house address and will be there soon. You bm pyroblasted the wrong guy punk, your dead
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

response to "ok and?"

September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing