[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
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More Copypastas

An automated message from Blizzard Entertainment to Athene

twitchquotes: Greetings, AtheneLIVE! This is an automated message from Blizzardβ„’ Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstoneβ„’ AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the "Suggested Card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzardβ„’ Team.
twitch chat
July 2014
AtheneLIVE

Stay negative

twitchquotes: (︢︹︺ ✿ ) Stay negative _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kripp is a sellout (︢︹︺ ✿ ) Chat is retarded _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kitty is dead (︢︹︺ ✿ ) _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Life sucks (︢︹︺ ✿ )
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

Guys I am worried after what my homie did

twitchquotes: Guys I am worried after what my homie did. Me and my homie were bored one day so we got together and always said no homo. We adopted 2 kids and have spent 1 year together and we are engaged and getting married. So one day I am feeling horny and I go to my homie and we fuck, it's good, and I said no homo. 6 minutes in I notice his socks aren't on and then it hits me, he didn't say no homo I am shocked. I asked him to say no homo but he ignored me. Is he gay? Am I gay? How do I tell the kids that?
twitch chat
April 2020

KappaPride

Help Doge Take Over Steam

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆ Help β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆ Doge β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–‘β–“β–Œβ–ˆ Take β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–“β–β–ˆβ–Œ Over β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–“β–“β–β–ˆ Steam β–β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–„β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œ Copy β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–β–‘β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–β–ˆ And β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–β–ˆ Paste β–Œβ–“β–„β–Œβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–β–€β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œ β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ–ŒDO IT. β–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–
February 2021

This valorant team is fantastic, they just need to work on

twitchquotes: [INSERT TEAM NAME] is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing