[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

only a real human being can buld a prper face

twitchquotes: 👁 👃 👁 only a real human being can build a proper face 👄
twitch chat
May 2017

Learning how to throw like a pro

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! Thanks for the quality stream. I'm watching with my son and you have become his mentor. He is going into baseball so he's learning how to throw like a pro from you! Thanks again!
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Plane

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August 2019

I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains 🌧 down ⬇️ in Africa

twitchquotes: I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains 🌧 down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains ☔ down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍(I 👁 bless 🙏 the rain 🌧)I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains ☔down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍(I 👁 bless 🙏 the rain 🌧)I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains ☔ down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains 🌧 down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍
twitch chat
September 2017

Be careful with what emojis you react with

Ok everyone since you don’t listen when I’m nice, I’m going to get mean. Reacting to messages with a clown (🤡), a skull (💀), or a nerd face (🤓) isn’t funny. It’s not cool, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying. These 3 emojis in particular aren’t funny, they’re RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS. STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid. It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak out truth. FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN. IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU. This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully…
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing