[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
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69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020

Your elo doesn't mean you play at that skill level

twitchquotes: Your elo doesn’t necessarily mean you play at that skill level. I’ve been silver a couple seasons but i play at a platinum level. I’ve played a lot of games with plat/diamond players and managed to carry (mostly aram)
twitch chat
February 2019

League of Legends

Gru and Spongebob fanfic

August 2021

Spongebob

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July 2021

Who let the dongs out?!

twitchquotes: ヽ༼◕ل͜◕༽ノ Who let the dongs out?! Woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯ Woof woof woof woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
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