[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020

SadKek

⣯⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠉⠈⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣇⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠙⠛⠻⣽⠻⢦⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡉⠉⢿⣿ ⣶⠀⠐⠆⠀⠀⡾⢦⣬⠓⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠄⠀⢀⠠⡤⠁⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⣶⣶⣾⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡐⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣿⡍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠚⠻⢿⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⠷⠶⠤⠤⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣉⣙⣠⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠰⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸
September 2020

Fantastic AoE2 player

twitchquotes: "Streamer's name" is a fantastic player, he only needs to work on his scoutings, build orders, strategy choices, eco management, army compositions, control groupings, unit splits, xbow dances, mangonel attack grounds, monk micros, knights surroundings, galley fights, laming, clicking precision, building placements, not getting housed, map bans and civ choices.
twitch chat
July 2020

Age of Empires II

Why are we rioting?

twitchquotes: ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ riot ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

Obama

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April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing