[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Dear Liberals: Stop putting women in MY porn.

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February 2020

Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon. "Never lucky", he says. "I wouldn't say that", says a voice to his side. Reynad rolls over and to his surprise, it's a hot grill. "Wow! How did I manage this?", he asks. "You are very persuasive", purrs the grill. "What's your name?" Reynad asks. "Chat calls me Scamaz", Scamaz laughs as he pulls off his wig.
twitch chat
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Something about Qtpie's play...

twitchquotes: i'm lying on my bed watching Qtpie stream.. my knees are up.. i'm trying to close my legs... but something about Qtpie's play makes me want to force my hands.. lower.. and lower.. i'm so embarassed...my fist is clenched so tight.. as i bite hard.. on my lips
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if my girl and fidget spinner both dying

twitchquotes: if my girl👧😍and fidget spinner߷ both dying😱and I can only save one 😤😬catch me at her funeral 😔👻🌹spinning ߷ through ߷ the ߷ pain ߷ 💯 😎
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