[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

Jim Cramer

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ascii art
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Okay, listen up mods. I’m done with your oppressiveness

twitchquotes: Okay, listen up mods. I’m done with your oppressiveness. I try day in and day out to spam dank copy-pasta in chat and what do I get in return? Just the same old, 10 minute time out from you fun-suckers. Chat is filled with just meaningful dialogue and constructive feedback. I’m done. I’m out. And I swear to god, don’t even think about deleting this message.
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Minecraft creeper

█████████████████ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░████░░░████░░█ █░░████░░░████░░█ █░░░░░░███░░░░░░█ █░░░░███████░░░░█ █░░░░███████░░░░█ █░░░░██░░░██░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █████████████████ ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── ───█░░░░░░░░░█─── █████████████████ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░█ █████████████████ █████████████████
ascii art
December 2020
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Text-to-Speech Playing