[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Faeria created a strategy...

twitchquotes: Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

FEELS TEST

twitchquotes: FEELS TEST FeelsBadMan IF YOU TOUCH THE FEELS, YOU'RE DEPRESSED โŽ FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017

Chat Test

Lapras

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2017

Pokemon

WTF IS GIGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect seven letter emote for a mega-sized british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the MEGALUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could MEGALUL at the LUL fags but now GIGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

xQc juicer fanfic

twitchquotes: Felix starts to notice my eyes are welling up with tears, he sits up quickly. "Oh nyooo, why are you crying?" He rubbed my tears away. "Maybe let's sleep. Can we talk in the morning?" I went silent and hugged him tight. I agreed to talk in the morning over breakfast. I climbed off of him and told him I was going to shower, he followed to the bathroom and undressed with me. "Oh is that right?" I asked him. He smiled and kissed my neck, we both climbed into the shower and didn't really talk much. We kinda just stared at each other and smiled. He kissed me a few times wile rubbing what he kept calling my "juicers". Apparently I have some nice "juicers"? What is all this juice talk, it is killing me so bad. He is so funny.
twitch chat
September 2021
xQcOW
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing