[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

paul "scarra" walker

twitchquotes: Yesterday we lost a good man. I'm of course talking about Paul "Scarra" Walker. He was on his way home from raising his dongers when a drunk driver named Marcus "Dyrone" Hill crashed into him. Dyrone has now been placed into custody.
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

Cat anime girl

β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ ™β ›β ‹β ©β ­β£‰β‘›β’›β «β ­β „β ’β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β£ β –β ‹β£€β‘€β „β ’β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£ˆβ‘­β ­β „β „β „β ‰β ™ β£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β’€β£žβ£‘β ΄β šβ β „β „β’€β  β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ‰β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β£Ώβ‘‡β „β‘΄β β‘œβ£΅β’—β’€β „β’ β‘”β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β£Ώβ‘‡β‘œβ „β‘œβ „β „β „β ‰β£ β ‹β  β „β’€β‘„β „β „β£ β£†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έ β£Ώβ Έβ „β‘Όβ „β „β „β „β’°β β „β „β „β ˆβ£€β£ β£¬β£­β£›β „β β „β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β’€β£Ώ ⣏⠄⒀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⒀⣠⣴⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣾⣿ β£Ώβ£Έβ ˆβ „β „β °β Ύβ ΄β’Ύβ£»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’β£Ύβ’€β β „β „β „β’ β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£†β „β †β „β£¦β£Άβ£¦β£Œβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£‹β£€β£ˆβ ™β ›β‘›β Œβ „β „β „β „β’Έβ’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β ˆβ „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β’€β£ˆβ£‰β’‰β£Ώβ£Ώβ£―β£„β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ‘œβ „β „β „β „β ™β Ώβ£Ώβ£§β£½β£β£Ύβ£Ώβ Ώβ ›β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ƒβ’Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ‘Ώβ °β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ©β ”β ’β ‰β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β β ˜β£Ώ ⣿⠃⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⒀⠄⠄⑀⑀⒀⣀⣴⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁Ⓓ
ascii art
November 2020

Weebs

Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

I found one doc that values a ring

twitchquotes: Hey Bryon, I went to the doctors today for a checkup and we ended up talking about Shadow of War. Turns out he played it before and hes a big fan of the lord of the ring serious in general. I guess the point is I found one doc that values a ring.
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Yuno Gasai

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–β–€β–Œβ–€β–Œβ–„β–’β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–β–β–’β–β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–„β– β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–‘β–β–’β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–€β–„ β–€β–„β–€β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–’β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–’β–Œβ–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–β–€β–„β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–β–’β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–’β–β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–β–’β–‘β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–€β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–€β–„β–Œβ–‘β–β–’β–’
ascii art
September 2018

Weebs

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing