[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard

twitchquotes: listen up ok nobody even likes u the only reason i dont ddos u nto oblivion is cuz ur not even worth my bandwif u fkn fgt retard im srs if u say 1 more thing u wont even get to get out of ur seat cuz i wil KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard n shoc ur fingers so bad u will say sry but its too late for that boyo
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

EARN that starting position

twitchquotes: It was a humid night, all the windows were open in the Cloud 9 house as Sneaky looked outside contemplating how to avoid the bench again. As he mused the door creaked open and Jack was there. Sneaky knew what had to be done as he got on his knees to fellate his boss. "Oh yea Sneaky, work that hard cock, EARN that starting position"
twitch chat
July 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

Kripp's older videos

twitchquotes: Kripp, I was on your channel earlier and one of your older videos caught my eye. It was you and Krippi beating inferno hardcore Diablo. Now that was intense. Over 15 minutes of pure battle and you didnt let up for a second. Now I have to ask, how did you fall from grace? All these intense world firsts under your belt and now you just play a childrens card game and peddle mobile games. Its like seeing a hero from your childhood being stuck in a retirement home.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Monke

⠄⠄⠄⣠⢴⢴⡴⣤⢤⣄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣀⡤⣴⣺⡽⣯⡷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣔⢞⢝⢝⠽⡽⣽⣳⢿⡽⣏⣗⢗⢯⢯⣗⡯⡿⣽⢽⣷⣟⣷⣄ ⠄ ⠄⡗⡟⡼⣸⣁⢋⠎⠎⢯⢯⡧⡫⣎⡽⡹⠊⢍⠙⠜⠽⣳⢯⣿⣳ ⠄ ⠄⢕⠕⠁⣁⢬⢬⣌⠆⠅⢯⡻⣜⢷⠁⠌⡼⠲⠺⢮⡆⡉⢹⣺⣽ ⠄ ⠄⠄⡀⢐⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⠁⡂⢟⣞⡏⠄⡹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣺⡐⣞⣾ ⠄ ⠄⢰⡳⡹⢦⣀⣠⡠⠤⠄⡐⢝⣾⣳⣐⣌⠳⠦⠤⠤⣞⢼⢽⣻⡷ ⠄ ⠄⢸⣚⢆⢄⣈⠨⢊⢐⢌⠞⣞⣞⡗⡟⡾⣝⢦⣳⡳⣯⢿⣻⣽⣟ ⠄ ⠄⠘⡢⡫⢒⠒⣘⠰⣨⢴⣸⣺⣳⢥⢷⣳⣽⣳⢮⢝⢽⡯⣿⣺⡽ ⠄ ⠄⠄⠁⠪⠤⢑⢄⢽⡙⢽⣺⢾⢽⢯⡟⡽⣾⣎⡿⣮⡳⣹⣳⣗⠇ ⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⡸⡡⠑⠤⣠⡑⠙⠍⡩⡴⣽⡗⣗⣟⣷⣫⢳⢕⡏ ⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⡇⡇⡆⡌⡀⡉⠫⡯⢯⡫⡷⣽⣺⣗⣟⡾⡼⡺ ⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡎⡎⡎⣞⢲⡹⡵⡕⣇⡿⣽⣳⣟⣾⣳⡯⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢯⡣⡣⡣⡣⡣⣗⡽⣽⣳⢯⢷⣳⣻⣺⣗⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡙⠺⢪⢪⡺⡵⣯⣗⡯⡿⣽⢽⢾⣳⠏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠢⠄⣀⣀⢉⠊⣊⣉⡬⡶⡻⣝⡞ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢙⢑⢹⣘⠮⠛⠈ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠑⠁⠄⠄ monke
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing