[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx

twitchquotes: We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat (Kripp specifically). This chat is pure, unadulterated, 100% stupidity. Nobody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that aren't even good. THIS is why I'm turning off chat and will just watch the professional gameplay. And I swear to god, if any of you copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
November 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

Gaben

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣔⢤⣄⡀⠄⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿ ⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣤⣀⣿⣷⡐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢚⣿ ⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣻⣄⣤⣮⡝⣿ ⣿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠘⣿⡗⡕⣋⢉⣩⣽⣬⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣻⣷⣿ ⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠠⢀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠰⣶⡗⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⠱⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠨⡿⠿⠿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⢷⣦⠄⠄⠐⢶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⢉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄ ⣿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018

Reynad makes me want to rub one out

twitchquotes: At first I thought reynad looked like a vampire hobo. Like, literally a really damn ugly guy. But the more i watch his stream, the more im attracted to him. Something about that hair... the clothes too big for his scrawny body.. Makes me want to rub one out.. hehe anyway thanks for stream reynad
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat

twitchquotes: ༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat, at midnight i will celebrate halloween by killing people who didn't Copy pastarino this message. Do it now or you will be dead at 00:00. Copy pastarino NOW or Rip in peperoni's.༼ つ _ ༽つ
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing