[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I have a 197 word essay due tomorrow

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You offered me a snack but baby I want the whole kitchen

twitchquotes: Hey big sexy, @thijs looking cute today. It’s me, Ricardo, your internet boyfriend. You offered me a snack but baby I want the whole kitchen. See you at the club later baby. <3
twitch chat
May 2019
Thijs
Text-to-Speech Playing