[Copypasta] Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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PagChomp

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣯⣥⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠟⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣭⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⡀⢀⣩⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠛⠛⠛⢋⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠛⠛⠓⠠⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣦⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣜⡻⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⣾⣷⣶⣿⣾⣖⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⢉⡽⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠛⢶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠄⠈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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September 2020

Sneaky's bad TFT advice

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Zachary. My name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my chances of making it to Top 4. I listened to your advice when you said that Cavalier comp is “LIT.” Every time I play it I get a fast 8th. For that reason, Mr. Scuderi, prepare to die.
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May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

Only the chosen one can fist both asses

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both asses. ⎝ Kreygasm ⎠
twitch chat
June 2016

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

Creepy Clown

⣼⡟⠋⣀⣼⣾⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡘⢹⠄ ⡟⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣇ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄ ⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⠄ ⡄⢸⣯⣥⡴⠒⢊⡁ ⭕ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁ ⭕ ⣆⠈⣁⣈⣿⣿⡴ ⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣆⣤⣾⣬⣭⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖⣀⣀⠄⣼⠄ ⢀⠘⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣴⣿⠏⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄⣼⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⠃⣰⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⣿⠏⣰⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠿⣝⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⠿⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿
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March 2019
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