twitchquotes:
SUSHI SUSHI π 
RUNNING LOW ON BRAINCELLS π NEED BACKUP π ALLIGATOR π
RUNNING LOW ON BRAINCELLS π NEED BACKUP π ALLIGATOR π
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Derpo Spamu-desu
twitchquotes:
Hello my name is Derpo Spamu-desu, I am the last spamurai ........... if you wanna be part of this ancient japanese tradition spam your ascii and troll texts all over twitch. May the spam be with you! β¬β¬ΞΉβββββββοΊ€
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imaqtpie
Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
twitchquotes:
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. Thereβs just not mushroom for Italian chefs in todayβs world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Donβt call yourself Italian if you werenβt baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
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You are currently in a 25 year coma
twitchquotes:
If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
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Sneaky
Daily Airport Security Test!
twitchquotes:
β
π» πΌ π½ πΎ πΏ π« Daily Airport Security Test! Can you pass? β 
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