[Copypasta] The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Hi David, this is Akali's daughter

twitchquotes: Hi David, this is Akali's daughter. I noticed you have been picking my mom for your team in gym class. i have been having a really tough time since she left home, and it doesn’t make it easy on me when you reroll and say "i guess we're going assasins.“ I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if your mom left you to go carry an old man. Akali is just a poor single mom that is overworked to death. Why don’t you try being a little more exclusive.
twitch chat
July 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

Sparkle the spam away

twitchquotes: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ SPARKLE THE ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿ SPAM AWAY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Big eyes Kurum

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠉⢹⡿⠫⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣾⡿⠀
ascii art
February 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

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