[Copypasta] The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
June 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp needs to find a Romanian woman

twitchquotes: KRIPP! This is Papparian, your father! What is this I hear about marrying a Greek woman and making mini kripps with her??!! You need to find yourself a real full bodied Romanian woman, boy. One that can hand squeeze OJ and carry on our bloodline.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

LET'S BUILD A RAINBOW CHAT!

twitchquotes: LETS BUILD A RAINBOW CHAT! β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
twitch chat
June 2015

Classic

Rice farmer in Polynesia

twitchquotes: Hello my name is muambashu and i am a rice farmer in polynesia. I made my computer out of rubber from gum trees and banana leaves. Please help me defeat corporations by following in my footsteps and not understanding money. Please no copy pasterino
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

who is pokimane?

twitchquotes: who is pokimane? πŸ™„πŸ€­πŸ€”πŸ€«πŸ˜° in math: my solution βž—πŸ˜Š in history: my queen πŸ‘‘πŸ˜£ in art: my canvas 🎨πŸ₯³ in science: my oxygen πŸ’¨πŸ˜ in geography: my world 🌎🀯
twitch chat
February 2020
Pokimane

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers β€œ1” β€œ9” β€œ8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. β€œIt’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. β€œOne more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. β€œI need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. β€œDon't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your β€œsocialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. β€œNighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

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