[Copypasta] Champion M&M

twitchquotes: Sometimes, whenever i eat M&Ms, i like to hold two m&ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as i can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one and the one that didn't crack becomes champion, then i grab another m&m and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until i run out of m&ms, and when there is one left standing i send a letter to m&ms brand with the champion in it and a note attached that reads "please use this m&m for breeding purposes"
twitch chat
August 2014
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BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Among Us is love, Among Us is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life." My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love. My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

I will tyrannosaurusrek you

twitchquotes: (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)̄ If you let me win now, i will not rek you, i will not bm you. but if you don't, i will slow roll you, i will tyrannosaurusrek you (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)̄
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Gi-Hun Squid Game Stare

➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ➖⬛⬛⬛🏼🏼⬛⬛ ➖⬛⬛⬛🏼🏼🏼⬛ ➖⬛🏼🔳🏼🔳🏼⬛ ➖➖🏼🏼🏼🏼🏼 ➖➖🏼🏽🏽🏽🏼 ➖⬜🟦🏼🏼🏼🟦⬜ ⬜🟦🟦🟦🏽🟦🟦🟦⬜ 🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜🟦🟦🟦🟦
ascii art
November 2021

Squid Game

I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021
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