[Copypasta] Champion M&M

twitchquotes: Sometimes, whenever i eat M&Ms, i like to hold two m&ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as i can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one and the one that didn't crack becomes champion, then i grab another m&m and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until i run out of m&ms, and when there is one left standing i send a letter to m&ms brand with the champion in it and a note attached that reads "please use this m&m for breeding purposes"
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Jumping Mario

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
November 2014

PogChamp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣀⣀⣄⣢③⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β’ β‘¦β‘Ÿβ »β ›β ™β ‰β ˆβ „β „β ˆβ »β ›β£Ύβ£¦β£€β£€β „β „ β „β „β „β£°β‘Ώβ Ÿβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β ‹β ½β’Ώβ£§β „ β „β’€β£΄β žβ ‚β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Όβ †β „ ⠄⣼⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣀⣢⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⠄⣻⑃⠄ ⠄⑿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦Ⓒ⣧⠄ ⠄Ⓙ⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒠⣾⣿⣿⣋⣩⣭⣝⣿⣿⠛⒰⑇⠄ β „β’Έβ‘‡β „β „β’€β „β „β „β „β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ£―β ‰β’‰β£Ώβ ‹β£Ÿβ’»β‘‡β „ ⠄⠄Ⓓ⑀⒳⑗⠂⣠⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣉⣸⠇⠄ β „β „β ˆβ£·β „β’³β£·β£Ώβ „β „β’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β „β „β ˜β£§β „β ˆβ ™β „β „β „β ‰β ™β ›β ›β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£€β£„β’Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒβ „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠳⣄⑀⠄⠄⠄⒒⣦⣾⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⒉⣽⠇⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β Ώβ£„β’€β „β£€β£β’»β£Ώβ‘Ώβ ’β£€β£€β£Έβ β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ³β£€β β ™β Žβ’»β£„β „β „β£Έβ ‹β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ™β Άβ’¦β£„β£€β££β ΄β ƒβ „β „β „β „β „
February 2020

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, β€œHey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say β€œiS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED

twitchquotes: LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016
Text-to-Speech Playing