[Copypasta] Champion M&M

twitchquotes: Sometimes, whenever i eat M&Ms, i like to hold two m&ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as i can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one and the one that didn't crack becomes champion, then i grab another m&m and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until i run out of m&ms, and when there is one left standing i send a letter to m&ms brand with the champion in it and a note attached that reads "please use this m&m for breeding purposes"
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
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Shrek 2

⢋⣴⠒⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿ ⢾⣿⣀⣿⡘⢿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠻⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣦⣉⡁⠄⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⢷⡶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⠛⠻⠃⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⣀⣀⣴⡟⢩⠁⠩⣝⢂⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡛⣳⣶⣤⡘⠿⢋⣡ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣈⣱⣮⣿⣷⡾⠟⠋ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⠛⠛⣻⣿⠉⠛⠋⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⠄⢒⣤⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣀⣀⣉⣉⣠⣽⣿⣟⠻⣿⣿⡆⢻ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣿⣟⣛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⡇⣸ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢿ ⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⠄⢈ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣴⣿⢿⡋⠄⠄ ⣠⣴⠶⠖⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⢫⠞⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⢿⣧⣶⠏⠄
ascii art
September 2020

Shrek

Spiderman Bill makes his web on the hill

twitchquotes: ,/╲/\╭༼ KKona ༽╮/\╱ \ Spiderman Bill makes his web on the hill ,/╲/\╭༼ KKona ༽╮/\╱ \
twitch chat
October 2015
Reynad

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
June 2021

Weebs

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.” “Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?” Stonks only go up. But you don’t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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