[Copypasta] Champion M&M

twitchquotes: Sometimes, whenever i eat M&Ms, i like to hold two m&ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as i can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one and the one that didn't crack becomes champion, then i grab another m&m and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until i run out of m&ms, and when there is one left standing i send a letter to m&ms brand with the champion in it and a note attached that reads "please use this m&m for breeding purposes"
twitch chat
August 2014
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

GG EZ

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March 2021

You do not deserve to have Raymond

twitchquotes: Hello! I have been following your tweets for the past two days, and have come to the conclusion you do not deserve to have Raymond on your island. He is my comfort character and seeing him in an environment not meant for him brings me anxiety, so I will be expecting a reply to this DM when you have him in boxes and ready to relinquish him to someone who will treasure him like he deserves.
twitch chat
June 2020

Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€
September 2016

Pokemon

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say

twitchquotes: Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say. Seraphine isn’t β€œimaginary.” She posts real tweets, feels real emotions, makes real music... All you trolls are MALDING because she doesn’t reply to your tweet comments probably. Not me though.. I have full faith in her. That’s why she replied to me a couple days ago when I congratulated her.. she literally replied? And said thanks??
twitch chat
November 2020

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