[Copypasta] Chat stop spamming XD

twitchquotes: Hey chat, right now im very sleepy and unable to read chat. I got my dog reading chat out loud for me so i can enjoy chat with you guys. He keeps yelling "XD" to me so i suspect chat is spamming XD. Plz stop as youre confusing my dog and hes getting upset. Thank you much appreciate.
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Darshan the mashtomp

twitchquotes: HELLO cutie it's Darshan the mashtomp and i want to get back into DIG. Even though I don't eat meat i will gladly suck yours for us to DUO REUNITE. I will even get scarra "gragas" wukong to join. Love, Darshan marshan of the il larshan kaperino no fettuchini pastrino
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

League of Lesbians

twitchquotes: Once upon a time, I opened a LoL game. I entered the game, and I was promptly greeted by another player. I noticed it was a female player and I was pleasantly surprised. I told her of my great love for the female anatomy, particularly the breasts and the backside. To my surprise, she told me she also enjoyed these things. It was then that I realised, I was playing League of Lesbians.....
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

King Kamehameha

twitchquotes: Aloha Forsen, my name is King Kamehameha, King of Hawaii. I want to invite you to come to our tropical island paradise to teach us Cardstone. You will be compensated with a million palm leaves (over 10 million Swedish dollars). We would love to hear from you. Please no copypasterino
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

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