[Copypasta] Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR

twitchquotes: SwiftRage :loudspeaker: KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: MR. KRABS IS IN THERE! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: STANDING AT THE CONCESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker:
twitch chat
November 2016

Classic

Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: DatSheffy 📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｕｓｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｅｘｔ， ｍｙ ｂｒａｉｎ ｃｅｌｌ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｂｅｇｉｎ ｔｏ ｄｉｅ． ｙｅｔ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ ｔｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｒｅｔａｒｄ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue

twitchquotes: Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QT’s stream to find him sitting in queue… He frantically began tabbing between his client and QT’s stream, then one after the other… both queues popped. “I need the toilet” he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

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