[Copypasta] Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school. Its so cool to see you streaming on Twitch. Me and Dustin really miss you. The cheerleading team is nothing without you. And remember that kiss you and I shared in the back of the bus? Those were some good times. We should definitely hook up again XOXO
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: 🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire to continue using our services please renew your account by logging into your account and from the home page go to: My account > Viewbot Status > Renew subscription. This message will repeat until the end of your subscription in 72 hours. Thank you for your dedicated service.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Viewbots

Classic

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

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