[Copypasta] Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

Classic

Put shoe on head to prove not pre-recorded

twitchquotes: γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ PUT SHOE ON HEAD TO PROVE NOT PRE-RECORDED γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Everything points to Amogus

πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘‰πŸ» ࢞ πŸ‘ˆπŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ
March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing