[Copypasta] Re-read my statement. Your reply is a logical fail

twitchquotes: Re-read my statement. Your reply is a logical fail. I would know because I scored a 174 on the LSAT which got me into Northwestern Law after graduating with top honors from UC Berkeley. BTW...the LSAT is an exam in logic.
twitch chat
April 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PrankInvasion/status/1117514382718582784
I used to be a real ad
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Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Pepe with wine

⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡠⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⢹⣟⣛⣛⣛⣃⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⡓⢻⠿⠿⠷⡜⣯⠭⢽⠿⠯⠽⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣼⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣥⣝⠂⠐⠈⢸⠿⢆⠱⠯⠄⠈⠸⣛⡒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⡭⢟⣲⣶⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣛⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢰⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⣭⣛⠳⠶⠬⠭⢭⣝⣛⣛⣛⣫⣭⡥⠄⠸⡄⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⢇⡟ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⣛⡛⠳⠶⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠄⠄⠄⠙⠮⣽⣛⣫⡵⠊⠁ ⣍⡲⠮⣍⣙⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠖⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣝⣭⣭⣭⣴⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⠿⠦⠤⠄⠄
ascii art
July 2020

Pepe

Kripp's high time in coma

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is doctor Jeffrey Shih from the Athens General Hospital. You’ve been in a coma for several years now due to an overload of copypasta. I’m trying out a new method to get through to you. Please wake up! Your family misses you very much. Please wake up, you *** retard!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
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