[Copypasta] Re-read my statement. Your reply is a logical fail

twitchquotes: Re-read my statement. Your reply is a logical fail. I would know because I scored a 174 on the LSAT which got me into Northwestern Law after graduating with top honors from UC Berkeley. BTW...the LSAT is an exam in logic.
twitch chat
April 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/PrankInvasion/status/1117514382718582784
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for β€œkidding?” So your reply is β€œkidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

And you thought there wouldn't be any bees in chat

twitchquotes: β–‘Aβ–‘nβ–‘dβ–‘ β–‘yβ–‘oβ–‘uβ–‘ β–‘tβ–‘hβ–‘oβ–‘uβ–‘gβ–‘hβ–‘tβ–‘ β–‘tβ–‘hβ–‘eβ–‘rβ–‘eβ–‘ β–‘wβ–‘oβ–‘uβ–‘lβ–‘dβ–‘nβ–‘tβ–‘ β–‘bβ–‘eβ–‘ β–‘aβ–‘nβ–‘yβ–‘ β–‘bβ–‘eβ–‘eβ–‘sβ–‘ β–‘iβ–‘nβ–‘ β–‘tβ–‘hβ–‘iβ–‘sβ–‘ β–‘cβ–‘hβ–‘aβ–‘tβ–‘ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016
Forsen

Hey Caleb, I'm Yoshinori Kitase do you remember me

twitchquotes: Hey Caleb, I'm Yoshinori Kitase do you remember me, I'm the director of that game you really enjoy, FFVII. I'm here, sitting in my damn fcking good sofa on the Square Enix headquarter, laughing at your fcking face because you even can't finish Big Shoes category. Still remenber the last E3, the boys haved a lot fun looking your face after we don't enouncement FFVII remake. Stop be a fcking loser and speedrun that fcking Big Shoes category, damn guy.
twitch chat
May 2019
Calebhart42

I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you

twitchquotes: I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you, and so is my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is very ugly. And so are you. These are facts. Debate me.
twitch chat
July 2020
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