[Copypasta] Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

twitchquotes: Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks. Ever since mesa was a boy, mesa being dreamin' to be a humble servant. Boss Nass tellin' me mesa can't bein' sex slave ina Otoh Gunga, but that smells stinkowiff. Mesa meetin' a biga man at duh Naboo, he spekin' he have uh mooey mooey poopa in hesa pants. From deesa day on, mesa will be maxi sex slave on da Naboo. If yousa a bombad and you be thinkin datsa eegad, esqueeze me but yousa how wude. Mesa bein' big thankful to yousa for duh understand.
twitch chat
July 2016
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December 2020

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019

A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
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