[Copypasta] Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

twitchquotes: Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks. Ever since mesa was a boy, mesa being dreamin' to be a humble servant. Boss Nass tellin' me mesa can't bein' sex slave ina Otoh Gunga, but that smells stinkowiff. Mesa meetin' a biga man at duh Naboo, he spekin' he have uh mooey mooey poopa in hesa pants. From deesa day on, mesa will be maxi sex slave on da Naboo. If yousa a bombad and you be thinkin datsa eegad, esqueeze me but yousa how wude. Mesa bein' big thankful to yousa for duh understand.
twitch chat
July 2016
I used to be a real ad
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Twitch Chat Examination Team

twitchquotes: Hello this is the Twitch Chat Examination Team here with anther experiment. We are testing how quickly a message typed into chat is copied and pasted by the mindless hordes. Please, if you're reading this, spread awareness for our cause.
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

Troll face 6

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⡿⠏⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⡛⡙⠛⠻⠯⠿⠟⢯⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⢟⡾⢛⡿⠿⢶⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣲⢶⣶⢭⣙⠻⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⡽⣀⡫⣽⣿⣿⣻⠟⠀⠀⠀⠑⢽⢿⢟⢿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠙⠿⣷⣝⢷⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣰⢟⠛⢝⣺⡭⣃⡀👁⠀⠀⣨⣗⣾⣷⢘⣄👁 ⣀⣔⢺⣟⢿⣥⠛⢿ ⡏⣵⡎⣵⣱⣶⡀⠈⠙⢯⣳⣶⣶⢂⣼⠹⠿⠛⣿⣦⢳⣄⣶⡺⠝⠈⠁⢰⠏⣷⠈ ⡀⢿⣿⣄⣿⢿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣛⡗⣞⣉⡉⢉⣈⢭⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣾⡹⢀ ⣷⣌⠿⣼⣜⣿⣿⡽⣦⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⡸⣰⡎⢋⣾⣷⢣⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⡿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣄⠀⠈⠉⠁⠛⠃⠘⠿⠿⠈⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣘⠿⡽⣿⣿⣮⣳⣱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣷⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢦⡀⠀⠐⣆⢷⣿⡎⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⡘⠻⢿⣷⡺⣴⣦⣥⣍⣈⣁⣀⠈⠤⣖⣶⣾⣵⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣌⣙⣒⡶⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣻⡽⠛⢟⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣭⣥⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⣻⣽⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣽
ascii art
October 2021

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Reynad and Kripp lay sprawled across the bed

twitchquotes: Reynad and Kripp lay sprawled across the bed, every inch of them exhausted from the rigorous topdecking that had just occurred. "Your deck was crazy" Kripp whimpered before remebering that he'd forgotten to pay. He grabbed a few coins from his emergency OJ stash. "Welcome to the five dollar club" he said as Reynad oiled up for the brofist.
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad

KappaPride

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