[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle

twitchquotes: As Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle with his long hard white sword, he fondly remembered the time that Doug Bowser pounded him until he became bald. Aura was so entranced that he was distracted from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

Reddit is a privilege, not a right

I just downvoted your thread. # FAQ: ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your thread and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: Rudeness towards other Redditors, Spreading incorrect information, Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. Trump. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is a privilege, not a right.
December 2020

Reddit

This message is protected by a special font

twitchquotes: Tแ•ผIแ”• แ—ฐแ•ฎแ”•แ”•แ—ฉGแ•ฎ Iแ”• แ‘ญแ–‡OTแ•ฎแ‘•Tแ•ฎแ—ช แ—ทY แ—ฉ แ”•แ‘ญแ•ฎแ‘•Iแ—ฉแ’ช แ–ดOแ‘ŽT. IT'แ”• Iแ—ฐแ‘ญOแ”•แ”•Iแ—ทแ’ชแ•ฎ TO แ‘•Oแ‘ญY IT.
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

this streamer is look very nerd

twitchquotes: this streamer is look very nerd :\
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

AYAYA NaM tank

twitchquotes: โ–ˆ AYAYA โ–ˆ โ–ˆ ]โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ ๐Ÿ’ฅ NaM ..............โ–‚โ–„โ–…โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–…โ–„โ–ƒโ–‚ .............โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ] .............โ—ฅโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ—ค
twitch chat
July 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing