[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

twitch chat

April 2019

TSM, also known as "Tossed Six Million"

twitchquotes: TSM, also known as "Tossed Six Million" is a North American investment firm often known for their innovative investment strategy of burning up money and failing to return any meaningful results.

twitch chat

February 2021

League of Legends

Pikachu

░░░░█░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▄███▀░░ ░░░░█░░░▀▄░▄▄▄▄▄░▄▀░░░█▀░░ ░░░░░▀▄░░░▀░░░░░▀░░░▄▀░░░░ ░░░░░░░▌░▄▄░░░▄▄░▐▀▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▐░░█▄░░░▄█░░▌▄▄▀▀▀▀█ ░░░░░░▌▄▄▀▀░▄░▀▀▄▄▐░░░░░░█ ░░░▄▀▀▐▀▀░░░░░░░▀▀▌▄▄▄░░░█ ░░░█░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░█▀▀▀ ░░░░▀▄░░▀░░▀▀▀░░▀░░░▄█░░░░

ascii art

November 2014

Pokemon

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.

April 2022

Navy Seal

I'm going up the chat elevator

twitchquotes: PogChamp

I'M GOING UP THE CHAT ELEVATOR PogChamp

I'M GONNA BE FIRST TO ARRIVE PogChamp

twitch chat

June 2015

Reynad

Full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

TSM, also known as "Tossed Six Million"

League of Legends

Pikachu

Pokemon

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

Navy Seal

I'm going up the chat elevator

Full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become

Confirm Subscription