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[Copypasta]Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon
twitchquotes:Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
"YOU KNOW I DON'T DO ANAL", squeals Reynad as he scurried away, but it doesn't matter. "Get your ass back her!" roars Forsen as he grabs Reynad's flaccid donger and pulls him back. Forsen penetrates Reynad with his Iron Juggernaut. Moments later the mine explodes, dealing 10 damage to Reynad's rectal cavity. "Hmmm, well played" whispers Forsen in Reynads ear as he takes the lethal.
get teh tazer
twitchquotes:(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) RESISTING ARREST - Get the Tazer (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
Kripparian was sitting in his room alone, masturbating to Huffer nudes as usual. Suddenly, the light of inspiration came across douche-bearded face. "Wh-what if I used the brofist? Just this once?" Awkwardly leaning himself over his desk, he propped up his elbow on the chair and then fell back into his fist. "Oh... what a top..." he had to stop himself as the fist dug deeper past his outer ring into the depths of his chilli-hole, a gentle squishing sound could be heard all the while. "-deeeeeeeeck~" he finally moaned, splattering Cattarian with stray ejaculate.
