[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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You have been gifted a Yep

twitchquotes: ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āŪœÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž You have been gifted a Yep . Type COCK to activate. ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āŪœÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž
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twitchquotes: banana, you're a banana. are you feeling sorry for yourself? well you should be cause you are fruit, you make me sick you big banana.
twitch chat
October 2014
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Professor Utonium

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Umbreon is better than Vaporeon for humans

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