[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I (M9) would like to know if downdooting is morally correct

Hi, memers of Reddit!! I (M9) would like to know if downdooting is morally correct. I know, I know, downdooting is okay if someone roasts King Elon (A fellow redditor!) or Lord Keanu. It is not wholesome, and deserves to be downvoted to H-E-Double hockey sticks. However, if I see a post that I simply do not agree with or do not like, is downdooting morally right? Thank you memers of reddit, have a breathtaking day!
August 2021

Reddit

Help Doge Take Over Steam

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆ Help β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆ Doge β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–‘β–“β–Œβ–ˆ Take β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–“β–β–ˆβ–Œ Over β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–“β–“β–β–ˆ Steam β–β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–„β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œ Copy β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–β–‘β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–β–ˆ And β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–β–ˆ Paste β–Œβ–“β–„β–Œβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–β–€β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œ β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ–ŒDO IT. β–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–
February 2021

Yep

twitchquotes: sneaky's lips began to form the word. his lips were pursed into what couldn't be quite called an O shape, the sound of a C starting to leave his mouth. his lips stayed rounded as he let out the O, then finally flattened as he released the word. "cock," he finally spoke into the microphone, the tantalizing seconds over. he smiled watching the endless spam of "Yep", seeing the storm just one word could create.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city? I thought not. It's not a story the Playmobils would tell you. It's a LEGO legend. Man Lego was a Dark Lord of building, so powerful and so wise he could use the bricks to influence the constructions to create rescue helicopters… He had such a knowledge of building that he could even keep the ones he cared about from falling. The dark side of the LEGOs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice threw him into the river in LEGO city. Ironic. He could rescue others from the river, but not himself.
December 2020

Lego City

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Have you considered playing Raid Shadow Legends

twitchquotes: (name). You always play (game). Have you considered playing a turn base MMORPG Raid Shadow Legends. With the code TtS you'll get 50,000 silver and a free epic champion as part of the new player program to start your journey! Good luck and I'll see you there!
twitch chat
June 2021

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing