[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
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No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Volcanosaur is pretty good with cannot be targeted adapt

twitchquotes: That Volcanosaur is pretty good with cannot be targeted adapt
twitch chat
May 2017

Hearthstone

LUL haHAA ariW

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ haHAA ariW ariW haHAA ariW haHAA ariW haHAA ariW ariW haHAA ariW ariW haHAA ariW haHAA ariW haHAA ariW ariW haHAA ariW ariW haHAA ariW haHAA ariW haHAA ariW ariW haHAA haHAA ariW haHAA haHAA haHAA ariW haHAA haHAA ariW ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
June 2016

I think its hilarious u kids talking shit about Tim

twitchquotes: i think its hilarious 😂😭 u kids 👶🙋 talking shit🗣💩 about Tim. u wouldnt say this *** to him irl, hes jacked💪👊. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes,👕👖 eats at the chillest restaurants🏯❄ and hangs out with the hottest dudes🔥😎. yall are pathetic lol✋
twitch chat
November 2016
TimTheTatman

Nyan Cat

________▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄______ _______█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░█_____ _______█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▒▒▒░░█▄▀▀▄_ __▄▄___█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▀▄▄▄▄▀▓▓▓█_ █▓▓█▄▄█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▄_ _▀▄▄▓▓█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▄█▓▓▓▄▓▄█▓▓█_ _____▀▀█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▒▒▓▄▓▓▄▓▓▄▓▒▒█ ______▄█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▄▀_ ____▄▀▓▀█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀█▀▀___ ____█▄▄▀_█▄▄▀_______█▄▄▀_▀▄▄█_____
ascii art
November 2014
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