[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
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Sonic Inflation

Today I learned that in 2003 the fast food company β€œSonic” began printing out their own money to pay their workers. This led to a huge inflation in the economy and was one of the leading factors of the 2008-2009 recession. Would highly recommend looking up Sonic Inflation on google if you want to learn more.
April 2021

I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, β€œOh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but he kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like β€œSir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually β€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019

SwiftRage NotLikeThis BabyRage copypasta

twitchquotes: EU SwiftRage )))) NotLikeThis (((( BabyRage NA
twitch chat
March 2016

EU vs NA

When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad

twitchquotes: When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad.
twitch chat
November 2018

Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’ γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€~β€’ ~β€’ γ€€ γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~β€’ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~β€’
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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