[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED

twitchquotes: ATTENTION: The NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED in order to make room for the Gnomes Vs. Goblins expansion. We apologize for any dongers raised by this message.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

A very convincing EU > NA

twitchquotes: C9 loses to G2 with First time Top lane Perkz βœ… β€’ TL loses to FNC with a sub jungler debuting for them βœ… β€’ TSM loses to OG role swapping Nukeduck and Patrik and Patrik’s first competitive Neeko game βœ… A very convincing EU > NA
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

GlitchCat

β €β €β €β €β €β£΄β ‰β‘™β ³β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£ β €β£šβ‘―β ΄β’¬β£±β‘€β € β €β €β €β €β’°β‘‡β£·β‘Œβ’²β£„β‘‘β’’β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β’ β Ύβ’‹β ”β£¨β£΄β£Ώβ£·β‘Œβ ‡β‘‡β € β €β €β €β €β’Έβ’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£„β’»β£Ώβ£·β£β ·β’€β£€β£€β‘Άβ’‹β£΄β£‘β Ÿβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β‘‡β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀ⒸⒸ⣿⑄⒁⣸⣿⣋β£₯β£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ÿβ‘β šβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β‘‡β € β’€β£ β‘€β €β Ύβ‘˜β ‹β’€β£˜β ‹β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β’­β£­β£­β£­β£β ‰β’©β£­β ‰β ‰β ‚β ™β ›β ƒβ£‡β‘€ β β €β €β’Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘€β €β’Ώβ‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£†β €β’Ώβ£‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’± β£¦β €β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β ˜β£Ώβ €β €β €β‘€β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β €β’»β‘†β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έ β’»β‘„β €β €β ˜β ›β ‰β ‚β €β ™β β €β£Όβ£§β €β €β €β ˆβ €β €β ˆβ ™β €β ˜β “β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘Ÿ ⠀⒳⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑀⣏⠀ β €β €β ›β’Άβ’°β£Άβ’’β£€β£€β£„β ²β£Άβ –β €β£™β£€β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β‘€β£€β£ β£Ύβ Ÿβ‘Œβ € β €β €β €β ˜β’„β ƒβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ —β €β Ύβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ Έβ Ÿβ£‘β£€β‘³β’¦ β €β €β €β €β €β’»β‘†β£™β‘Ώβ’·β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ’‘β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦ β €β €β €β €β €β‘Όβ’β‘Ÿβ£«β£Άβ£β‘™β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β£½β‘–β£‰β£ β£Άβ£Άβ£Œβ ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β €β €β €β’€β ”β’‘β’Žβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⠀⒠⠖⒁⣴⑿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇Ⓓ⣿⣿
ascii art
October 2021

Pusheen the Cat

─────────────────────────────────────── β”€β”€β”€β–β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–β–„β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──▐▒▒▒▒▀▒▀▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄──────── β”€β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–’β–ˆ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–€β”€ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ────▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀────────
ascii art
September 2021

What's the best way to cash out without creating a huge ruckus?

For example, lets just say that I theoretically put $4000 into crypto, watched it quadruple and now I theoretically had $16k in crypto. Now lets imagine that I theoretically put half of that so $8000 into this funny haha dog coin called Shiba Inu or something in August 2020 and just forgot about it cause it's funny to put a lot of money into stupid jokes. But theoretically lets say that it turned to $8 billion in a bit over a year and now I want to cash out and move it to my bank account. How would I theoretically go on about this safely if I theoretically had this much money in crypto, in theory of course.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing