[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

twitchquotes: ★  ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * . .  ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere   ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸     ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸.   ★ ★ ° . .    . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ ..EUROPE...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ °
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Scary Pepega

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡳⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⠦⠤⠒⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠪⡻⣿⣀⣶⣶⣶⡤⠬⠙⠛⠃⢤⣭⠖⣢⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢚⢿⣿⣿⣯⠴⢛⣭⣽⣽⣕⡉⢜⣵⠾⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢔⣦⣾⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⡟⠄⠘⣿⣿⡞⣿⡀⢠⡽⣿⣷⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣮⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡏⣿⠁ ⭕ ⣡⣿⣿⡿⠿ ⭕ ⠅ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣽⣿⣿⠟⠫⠽⣿⣿⡿⢻⣧⠱⣙⠿⢿⠿⢿⢛⣥⡙⠥⠬⠅⣂⣤⡤ ⠄⢌⣾⣿⣿⡿⣱⠚⠻⣷⣝⢿⣿⣦⣭⣑⣂⣉⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⠿⠋⢹ ⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⠄⠸⣦⣭⠓⠪⠭⣛⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣟⣛⣛⠭⢝⣢⠄⢧⢸ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠄⠄⠻⠃⠄⢿⣷⡶⠄⣭⣭⡍⠩⣭⣭⡤⠄⠄⠻⣿⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠹⠋⠄⠄⠙⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠎ ⢡⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣧⠄⢠⣶⡀⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠝⠄ ⠄⠩⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻⣧⡙⢿⣿⠄⢰⣿⡄⠄⢀⣿⡄⠄⢀⣾⣿⡷⠄⡩⠊⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠑⢝⢿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⠳⢦⣤⣍⣙⣛⣀⣛⣛⣃⣀⡉⢍⠠⠔⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠫⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⠭⠭⠙⠂⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2019

Pepe

Twitch Memer in his natural habitat

twitchquotes: Here we can observe the Twitch Memer in his natural habitat, stuck as usual in this intricate limbo of carefully crafted memes, emote spam and endless copypastas that no one even bothers to read anymore. The Memer actually used to be a very functional human being way back then. Will he ever claim that state back and finally manage to reproduce?
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing