[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx

twitchquotes: We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

Ape

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–Œβ– β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ– β–β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
February 2015

Finland's national anthem

twitchquotes: Finland mentioned, so here is our national anthem: IsΓ€m maa karjala perkele sauna kirves vaimo 6-1 omakotitalo vene terva mΓ€ntysuopa suomempystykorva konepistooli karhu ilves susi kossu viina pontikka metsΓ€ kiitos 39-45 veteraani Mannerheim Juti rillaa Seppo RΓ€ty Mika HΓ€kkinen sydΓ€nkohtaus diabetes Trixi saatana.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump

twitchquotes: So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
October 2014
Trump

BBoomer

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣙⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘ β‘€β ¨β£±β’΄β‘’β šβ ‰β’β£‰β£ƒβ‘‘β Šβ „β ‡β „β£žβ£›β£Άβ‘‚β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠒β£ͺβ’·β ―β£Ώβ’—β ‡β „β „β „β β ’β ’β „β „β ˆβ ˜β ³β’Ÿβ£½β β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’‰β’ β ·β šβ ₯β Šβ „β „β „β£€β£β£€β£€β „β „β ‘β ’β „β „β ˜β †β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β ™β‘β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β β’€β‘€β ˆβ ‰β ’β ’β ’β ’β ’β ²β’Έβ „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’°β ƒβ „β „β „β „β €β ”β ’β ‰β ‰β ˆβ ‰β “β ’β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘žβ „β „β „β‘€β’€β£ β£„β£€β£ β’„β „β „β’ β‘ β €β£€β‘€β ΄β ¦β’Ύβ „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’€β žβ „β „β’šβ£―β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£·β£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€ β „β „β „β „β β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β „β „β „β’°β „β „β „β „β „β’˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ‰β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒ β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β „β ™β Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ β Άβ ‚β „β’¬β‘»β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ‘β „β „ β „β „β „β‘Όβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β’©β’»β£›β‘›β ›β’›β£‰β£‰β£­β‘­β‘ˆβ β’ β ƒβ „β „ β „β „β’Έβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β β „β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β β „β’€β‘¬β šβ β „β „β „ β „β’€β‘žβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ „β „β’€β’€β „β’β£’β£²β£΄β β „β „β „β „β „β „ β’ β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ™β ™β£―β£Άβ —β Ÿβ ™β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „
ascii art
March 2020
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