[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hello, trump supporter

Hello, OP. I've searched through your account history and see that you agreed with trump once back in 2017. As a redditor, and a good human, i have downvoted every post and comment on your account as far back as december 7th, 2013, on 5 different alternate accounts. I have reported every single post you have ever made. I hacked into reddit's serverbase and found out your IP address, real home address, and have constructed several bombs which are shipping there as we speak. I await your death, nazi.
August 2021

Donald Trump

Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon when security asked him a question and he refused to answer unless they gave him $4.99
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Nyan Cat

________β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„______ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ_____ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–„_ __β–„β–„___β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ_ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–„_ _β–€β–„β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ_ _____β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–’β–’β–ˆ ______β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–„β–€_ ____β–„β–€β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€___ ____β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_______β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ_____
ascii art
November 2014

Graham Stephen is stingy

Graham Stephen the kind of guy that suck his own pp and cum in his own mouth to save tissue
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Mr Qtpie apepars to be a boosted bonobo

twitchquotes: monkaS ☝️ I-I hate to point this out mr qtpie b-but you appear to be a boosted bonobo monkaS πŸ‘‰
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing