[Copypasta] Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Damn missed the TSLA pump

Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Kripp complains

twitchquotes: The opponent mulligans his cards. "Oh my god dude, are you kidding me?" says Kripp. The opponent plays a 2 drop. "Seriously dude? This is crazy." The opponent draws a card at the start of their turn. "No fckin way dude, I can't beat that." The opponent hero powers. "This is some crazy RNG bullshit" says Kripp.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously

twitchquotes: Dear Twitch Chat users. Do u think its funny to copy pasta everything you see? Copy that, pasta that. Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously, and when i come here my mind explodes. Please, respect copy pasta. For me, it's about religion.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Anime girl 2

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€ โ–โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘
October 2016

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing