[Copypasta] not an asexual thing

twitchquotes: ‘not an asexual thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each others’ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Classic

Tweet: https://twitter.com/breathinbuckyy/status/1091762452524662789
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

this streamer is look very nerd

twitchquotes: this streamer is look very nerd :\
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

Harambe I'm coming

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan 🔫 HARAMBE I'M COMING FeelsGoodMan 🔫
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Harambe

You've been gnomed

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████ ██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████ █████▓███████████████▓███████████ ████▓█████████████████▒██████████ ████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████ ████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████ ████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████ ████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████ █████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████ ██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████ ███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████ █████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████ ██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓ ▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████ █▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████ ███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████ ░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄ ░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█ ░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░
ascii art
October 2018

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing