[Copypasta] not an asexual thing

twitchquotes: ‘not an asexual thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each others’ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Classic

Tweet: https://twitter.com/breathinbuckyy/status/1091762452524662789
I used to be a real ad
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
twitch chat
June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

every youtube comment

No one: Not a single soul: This video: exists This comment: hold my beer Me: so you have chosen death Death: that's a big yikes from me dawg Also death: I wasn't expecting special forces Me: mom can we have death Mom: we already have death at home Death at home: surprised pikachu face This video literally makes me cry every time Who else is watching this in ???? This video: wait that's illegal Also this video: why do I hear boss music??? Thumbs up so he sees this comment in 14 years when this video gets recommended! Edit: thanks for the likes XD
December 2020

Classic

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

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