twitchquotes:
╠═══╣Lets build a ladder╠═══╣
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
What could possibly be that washed up?
twitchquotes:
Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
neverlucky
VAPE TEST
twitchquotes:
VAPE TEST 
()_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT ⎝ 
⎠
()_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT ⎝ ⎠
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
VapeNation
Chat Test
Thinking Emoji
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
▒▒▒▒▒▄█▀▀░░░░░░▀▀█▄▒▒▒▒▒
▒▒▒▄█▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░▀█▄▒▒▒
▒▒█▀░▀░░▄▀░░░░▄▀▀▀▀░▀█▒▒
▒█▀░░░░███░░░░▄█▄░░░░▀█▒
▒█░░░░░░▀░░░░░▀█▀░░░░░█▒
▒█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▒
▒█░░██▄░░▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░█▒
▒▀█░█░█░░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░█▀▒
▒▒▀█▀░▀▀▀▀░▄▄▄▀░░░░▄█▀▒▒
▒▒▒█░░░░░░▀█░░░░░▄█▀▒▒▒▒
▒▒▒█▄░░░░░▀█▄▄▄█▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒
▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒