[Copypasta] Someone just posted that same paragraph...

twitchquotes: This is going to sound crazy, but someone posted that same paragraph just a minute ago. Here in this chat even. The odds of two people having the same paragraph-long thought is astronomical, especially in the same small website. Wow.
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Wagner Opera Topdeckhoffen

twitchquotes: Gᴜᴛᴇɴ Tᴀɢ, Hᴇʀʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ! Mᴇɪɴ Nᴀᴍᴇ ɪsᴛ Pᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴠᴏɴ Pᴀsᴛᴇɴʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Hᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ Dᴇᴜᴛsᴄʜʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ Wᴀɢɴᴇʀ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ Tᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Rᴀɴɪᴀ ɪs Vᴀʟᴋʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀs Pᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ. Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴘᴏᴜʀs Oʀᴀɴɢᴇɴsᴀғᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ ɪɴ sᴋʏ ᴀs ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢʜᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Pʟᴢ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏɢᴇɴ ᴅᴀᴀɢᴇɴ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

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