[Copypasta] God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

What happened to this ad? :(
More Overwatch Copypastas

Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc? I thought not. It's not a story the OWL casters would tell you. It's a tank legend. xQc was a tank main, so powerful and so wise he could use his shield to influence the DPS to do their jobs.. He had such a knowledge of the shields that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The tank mains of the game is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was getting banned for toxicity, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reported him to blizzard in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

I don’t know what Overwatch is

twitchquotes: I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what ā€œJunkrat kin discourseā€ is yall show up with ā€œThis is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniperā€ and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. ā€œThis is Swedish Beefcakeā€ could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
April 2021

Overwatch

This ELO IS UNFAIR

twitchquotes: SwiftRage :loudspeaker: THIS ELO IS UNFAIR! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: TIMTHEFATMAN IS IN THERE! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: LOSING EVERY GAME SESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: GIVING HIS TEAM DEPRESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker:
twitch chat
December 2016
TimTheTatman

Overwatch

i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze

twitchquotes: moon i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze my mains are Torbjorn and Bastion (I'm a huge defensive player, you know, a good defense is a gooder offense) but my team refuses to play around me and sometime even report me. Why elo hell is real??? How do you overcome adversity and become top 500? Thanks you for your time :)
twitch chat
July 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

What happened to Overwatch's DPS heroes?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm new to overwatch. Is there a reason that they aren't using any damage heroes? How are they supposed to get kills without dps? Are they deleted or banned or something?
twitch chat
February 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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