[Copypasta] God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

I used to be a real ad
More Overwatch Copypastas

Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc? I thought not. It's not a story the OWL casters would tell you. It's a tank legend. xQc was a tank main, so powerful and so wise he could use his shield to influence the DPS to do their jobs.. He had such a knowledge of the shields that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The tank mains of the game is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was getting banned for toxicity, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reported him to blizzard in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as McCree

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you can’t accept me you’re a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

How can these trash players be considered pros

twitchquotes: How can these trash players be considered pros when they are always falling off the map?? Even I in Silver can at least not just walk of the map lol...
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

SPAM THESE BOATS IF YOU'RE SICK OF GOATS

twitchquotes: SPAM ⛵ THESE ⛵ BOATS ⛵ IF ⛵ YOU’RE ⛵ SICK ⛵ OF ⛵ GOATS ⛵
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP?

twitchquotes: 📞👽 HELLO? SINATRAA (SPECIMEN #3457) 📞👽HOW IS YOUR MISSION GOING? 📞👽 IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP? 📞👽
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

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Text-to-Speech Playing