[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
I used to be a real ad
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GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Lmao you call yourself a COVID-19 fan?

twitchquotes: Lmao you call yourself a COVID-19 fan? I'm fucking loaded on virus points bro. I highlight every message because I'm just infecting everybody. Try talking in chat again when you are stocked up on hand wash, toilet rolls & baked beans 🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠
twitch chat
March 2020

CmonBruh bruh

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠘⠛⠂⠄⠄⠉⠙⢻⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣩⣄⠄⠄⠛⠷⠄⠄⢀⣾⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⣙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿ ⣿⡿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣷⡴⢄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣶⣶⡄⠉⠉⠙⢿⡆⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠸⠿⠿⠛⠛⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠻⣶⣼⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⢀⣀⡺⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠤⠾⠄⠄⣈⣛⠋⠉⠹⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⢸⡟⢛⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠶⢤⣴⣿⣉⡁⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣶⣬⣍⣉⠛⠲⠄⠈⠉⠁⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⠰⠛⠻⢿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⣿⠃⠀⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⣴⡄⠀⠘⡇⠀⣤⣤⡇⠀⣼⣿⠀⢠⡏⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⡼⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⢸⠁⠀⣼⡏⠀⢠⡟⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2022

Emote

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021
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