[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
July 2019
Tyler1

The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Coronavirus

COVID

69 nice

twitchquotes: Oh you think you’re funny eh? Yeah you’re so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
twitch chat
October 2020

Troll face 6

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⡿⠏⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⡛⡙⠛⠻⠯⠿⠟⢯⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⢟⡾⢛⡿⠿⢶⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣲⢶⣶⢭⣙⠻⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⡽⣀⡫⣽⣿⣿⣻⠟⠀⠀⠀⠑⢽⢿⢟⢿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠙⠿⣷⣝⢷⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣰⢟⠛⢝⣺⡭⣃⡀👁⠀⠀⣨⣗⣾⣷⢘⣄👁 ⣀⣔⢺⣟⢿⣥⠛⢿ ⡏⣵⡎⣵⣱⣶⡀⠈⠙⢯⣳⣶⣶⢂⣼⠹⠿⠛⣿⣦⢳⣄⣶⡺⠝⠈⠁⢰⠏⣷⠈ ⡀⢿⣿⣄⣿⢿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣛⡗⣞⣉⡉⢉⣈⢭⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣾⡹⢀ ⣷⣌⠿⣼⣜⣿⣿⡽⣦⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⡸⣰⡎⢋⣾⣷⢣⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⡿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣄⠀⠈⠉⠁⠛⠃⠘⠿⠿⠈⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣘⠿⡽⣿⣿⣮⣳⣱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣷⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢦⡀⠀⠐⣆⢷⣿⡎⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⡘⠻⢿⣷⡺⣴⣦⣥⣍⣈⣁⣀⠈⠤⣖⣶⣾⣵⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣌⣙⣒⡶⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣻⡽⠛⢟⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣭⣥⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⣻⣽⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣽
October 2021

WHO let the dogs out

twitchquotes: BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

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