[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

Troll face 4

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⠶⠶⣶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⠶⠶⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣤⣄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢑⣤⣶⣶⣤⡢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣄⡂⠀⠀⠶⢄⠙⢷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠚⠉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⡀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠏⠀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⠀⢋⣾⠈⠙⣶⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⡀⠡⠼⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⢃⡴⢊⢽⣶⣤⣀⠀⠊⠉⠉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⢸⣁⣀⣉⣉⣉⡉⠀⠩⡡⠀⣩⣦⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡟⢡⠇⡞⢀⠆⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⢀⠈⠂⠈⢁⡤⠚⡟⠉⠀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣍⠓⢆⢀⡠⢀⣨⣴⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⠁⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣦⣤⡈⠀⠀⠇⠀⠛⠉⣩⣤⣤⣤⣿⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠞⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⣆⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⠛⠛⣛⡛⠛⠛⣛⣋⡉⠉⣡⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠀⠀⠠⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠈⢧⡼⠉⠙⣆⡞⠁⠈⢹⣴⠃⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡆⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣇⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠐⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠙⢎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠱⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⠟⢻⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢮⣦⡀⠂⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡄⢸⠀⠀⣇⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢶⣤⣄⡑⠄⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⠙⠻⢷⣶⣵⣞⣑⣒⣋⣉⣁⣻⣿⠿⠟⠱⠃⡸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣷⣄⡀⠐⠢⣄⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠙⠭⠭⠄⠒⠈⠀⠐⠁⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⢦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⡠⠄⣠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⣦⣤⣭⣤⣬⣭⣭⣴⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
May 2021

I've been depressed and suicidal because of my mom's onlyfans

I'm 13 and and my mom is 33. Things at the school were never great. I'm sorta short so i get picked on some but it was manageable. That was, until one of my classmates showed me a picture of my mom naked. I almost had a panic attack and had to be excused from the classroom. I ended up not showing up to school for a few days (faking sick). I was hoping that things would cool off but they didn't. As soon as I got to school almost everyone was staring and laughing at me. This has been going on for about a week now. I was wondering how my classmates even got the pictures and apparently my mom advertises her onlyfans on her personal Twitter account. Some students from the school follow her and were able to see the nudes and they have been spread everywhere. I don't even have a Twitter so I didn't know about any of this. The worst part is when I confronted my mom about this she told me that I was overreacting and that sex work is basically the same as working at a bank or a grocery store. She also said it makes her feel good about herself and that I should be happy that she's more confident now. I told the principal but they can't suspend thousands of students or take anyone's phones. I've been crying in my room everyday for the past week. I don't think I can take it anymore.
July 2021

Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
May 2020

Imqtpie losing his farmer's license for poor cs

twitchquotes: Hey, qtPie this is the NSA (National Service of Agriculture). If you do not start getting some cs soon, we will have to revoke your farmer license
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing