[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S πŸ†πŸŒπŸŒ½ DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES πŸ‘¬πŸ‘¬ of our nation πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ George SLUTsington πŸ‘―πŸ‘―, Benjamin SPANKlinπŸ‘‹πŸ‘, John HanCOCK πŸ†πŸŒ½πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ These POUNDING πŸ”¨βš’ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their πŸ˜»πŸ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY πŸ—½πŸ‘…πŸ™€ Raise that ASS πŸ‘ to πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Abraham LinCUM πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson πŸ˜πŸŒ²πŸ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€BarCOCK Obama πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€ Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE πŸ‘€πŸ˜© DICKlared war πŸ”«πŸ’£ on those CUMMIES πŸ’¦πŸ’‚πŸ’‚ Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding πŸ”¨that presidential PUSSY πŸ™€πŸ™€ Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get πŸ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state πŸ“”πŸ˜™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

I pay much $$ to spam

twitchquotes: Dear mod. If u ban me. u mad kripp. i pay $5. I pay much $$ to spam. Please respect my Footlong of $5. If i spam u say ok, and not ban me. I pay $5 u. can. not. ban. me. (no copy or pasterino)
twitch chat
October 2014

MODS

Blizzard changes Fiery War Axe

twitchquotes: The other option we considered for Fiery War Axe was to lower its attack to 2, but that change didn’t feel intuitive enough. Generally, changing the mana cost of a card is less disruptive, because you can always see the mana cost of cards in your hand. LUL
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Trump gave Katie Kripp's MITHRIL ARMOR

twitchquotes: Hello "Kripp" ...or should I say COCKTAVIAN. Guess who? YEAH. It's KATIE. From HIGH SCHOOL. Ever since you left me to play this stupid game, me and Trump have decided to continue playing Runescape WITHOUT YOU. And guess what? He gave me your MITHRIL ARMOR. Have fun playing this stupid card game, JERK!.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
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