[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Why are you rank 9?

twitchquotes: β”Œ| β—” β–ƒ β—” |┐ UH KRIPP..... why are you rank 9? β”Œ| β—” β–ƒ β—” |┐
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus

twitchquotes: The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus, was first described by Henrik Ahnberg in his 18th century work β€œA Dong’s guide to Dota”. An elusive and hardy creature, the rat excels at damaging structures and retreating at the first sign of danger, only to begin its attack anew once the threat has passed. Unlike many of his peers, Ahnberg greatly respected the rat, finding many of its features similar to his own. His love for the rat became so great that he soon left the world of men and descended into the sewers to live among the rats, eventually becoming their king.
twitch chat
March 2015
AdmiralBulldog

Dota 2

There was a bug in the toilet

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE πŸ§˜β€β™‚οΈπŸ’¦ THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT πŸ’­ IT WAS DROWNED πŸŒŠπŸ‘» ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ ‼️IT WASN'T ❌ THERE πŸ‘‰ IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING πŸ† BUTTHOLE πŸ‘β­• WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
twitch chat
July 2020

Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously

twitchquotes: Dear Twitch Chat users. Do u think its funny to copy pasta everything you see? Copy that, pasta that. Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously, and when i come here my mind explodes. Please, respect copy pasta. For me, it's about religion.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing