[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

NaM emote

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
October 2018

This means absolutely nothing

twitchquotes: โœžฤฆะ‡ฯŸ โ„ณโ‚ฌโˆ€ะ˜ฯŸ ร…เธฟฯŸฯดโ„’รœโœโ„ฐโ„’ยฅ โ„ตฯดโœžโ„‹โ„‘ะ˜แธ , ะ‡ โ’ฟแนฒฯŸโ€  ะจัฆะ˜โœ โ„™โ‚ฌับแน”โ„’โ‚ฌ โ€ โ˜ฎ โ„ญับโ„™แบŽแน”ร…ฯŸโ€ โ„ฐโ„โ„โ„ตฯด ัฆโ„ตร ฯŸแน”ร…โ™ โœžฤฆะ‡ฯŸ โ„ญโ™“โˆ€โ€  โ„ฑรœโ„’โ„’ ับโ„‰ โ„ฑัฆแธ $
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Pecan ice and pecan butter

twitchquotes: do yall remember those two little white boy in super smash bros brawl who would scream pecan ice and pecan butter or whatever it was they were yelling? I hated them so much they used to get me in so much trouble when I would stay up late and play nintendo because no matter how low the volume on the damn tv was my mom would hear their shill *** voices going PECAN ICE PECAN BUTTER from all the way down the hall in her room and tell me to go to bed I will never forgive them
twitch chat
February 2017

Super Smash Bros

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. Iโ€™m so distressed right now I donโ€™t know what to do. I didnโ€™t mean to do that to Rudy but Iโ€™m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like Iโ€™m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This canโ€™t be happening. Iโ€™m having a fucking breakdown. I donโ€™t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Betterโ„ข. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasnโ€™t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

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