[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Get Jousted

twitchquotes: ā•°ą¼¼.ā—•ćƒ®ā—•.ą¼½ć¤Ā¤=[]ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€” Get Jousted
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Kripp subscribes to life

twitchquotes: ļ¼©ć€€ļ½•ļ½Žļ½“ļ½•ļ½‚ļ½“ļ½ƒļ½’ļ½‰ļ½‚ļ½…ļ½„怀ļ½†ļ½’ļ½ļ½ć€€ļ½Œļ½‰ļ½†ļ½…怀ļ½”ļ½ć€€ļ½—ļ½ļ½”ļ½ƒļ½ˆć€€ļ¼«ļ½’ļ½‰ļ½ļ½ļ½ļ½’ļ½‰ļ½ļ½Žļ¼Œć€€ļ½„ļ½…ļ½–ļ½ļ½”ļ½…ļ½„怀ļ½ļ½Žļ½„怀ļ½“ļ½•ļ½‚ļ½“ļ½ƒļ½’ļ½‰ļ½‚ļ½…ļ½„怀ļ½ļ½™ļ½“ļ½…ļ½Œļ½†ć€€ļ½”ļ½ć€€ļ½ˆļ½‰ļ½ļ¼Œć€€ļ½ˆļ½‰ļ½“怀ļ½ƒļ½ˆļ½ļ½Žļ½Žļ½…ļ½Œļ¼›ć€€ļ½ˆļ½ļ½—怀ļ½ļ½ć€€ļ¼©ć€€ļ½’ļ½…ļ½ļ½ļ½‰ļ½„ļ¼Ÿć€€ļ¼«ļ½’ļ½‰ļ½ļ½ć€€ļ½‚ļ½…ļ½”ļ½’ļ½ļ½™ļ½“怀ļ½ļ½…ļ¼Œć€€ļ½“ļ½•ļ½‚ļ½“ļ½ƒļ½’ļ½‰ļ½‚ļ½‰ļ½Žļ½‡ć€€ļ½ˆļ½‰ļ½ļ½“ļ½…ļ½Œļ½†ć€€ļ½”ļ½ć€€ļ¼¬ļ¼©ļ¼¦ļ¼„ļ¼ć€€iā€™ļ½ć€€ļ½“ļ½ļ½’ļ½’ļ½™ć€€ļ¼«ļ½’ļ½‰ļ½ļ½ļ¼Œć€€ļ½‚ļ½•ļ½”怀ļ¼“ļ¼Øļ¼©ļ¼³ć€€ļ¼­ļ¼Æļ¼®ļ¼“ļ¼Ø怀ļ½™ļ½ļ½•ć€€ļ½ļ½’ļ½…ļ½Žā€™ļ½”怀ļ½‡ļ½…ļ½”ļ½”ļ½‰ļ½Žļ½‡ć€€ļ½™ļ½ļ½•ļ½’怀ļ½„ļ½ļ½Žļ½‡ļ½…ļ½’ļ½“ļ¼Œć€€ļ¼µļ¼®ļ¼³ļ¼µļ¼¢ļ¼¢ļ¼„ļ¼¤ļ¼Ž
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

The legend of the button

twitchquotes: The legend of the button grew as the potential dust reward that came with it increased. But in the end when the no life Kripparian who had long sold out pressed it, the playful sprites robbed him of his joy and crashed his client. Kripp fell to his knees and in a solemn proclamation said "Never Lucky".
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing