[Copypasta] Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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ULU

twitchquotes: β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–„ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘
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July 2016
Kripp

I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me β€œUNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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Kripp please pet your cat

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, Leon Tidewellow here, CEO of PETA. My sources tell me that you haven't pet your cat in over 3 years, and thats a little too long. I'll give you 5 minutes, if you don't pet the cat then you WILL be brofisted. Have a nice day!.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

He needed PRECISELY those two inches to win!

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Sneakily squeak until light of dawn

twitchquotes: When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing