[Copypasta] Trumpet Skeleton of the Abyss

twitchquotes: ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by trumpet skeleton of the abyss. good bones and calcium will come to you but only if you reply "thank mr skeltal" to this message and pasta it to 3 times!! ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

How do you do, fellow homosexuals?

Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
June 2019

Classic

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

How do I get my husband to stop going โ€˜Goblin Modeโ€™ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going โ€˜Goblin Modeโ€™ during sex? TLDR; My husband says โ€˜Goblin Mode activatedโ€™ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says โ€˜Goblin Mode offโ€™ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and heโ€™s always been great in bed. But recently heโ€™s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in โ€˜Goblin Modeโ€™. We didnโ€™t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heโ€™s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iโ€™ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heโ€™s been a little emotionally unwell. Iโ€™ve heard him muttering, โ€˜Goblinโ€™ repeatedly when he didnโ€™t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said โ€˜Goblin Mode activatedโ€™, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iโ€™ve ever had, but Iโ€™m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isnโ€™t the โ€˜Goblin Modeโ€™, itโ€™s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

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