Kripp copypastas

Dear Kripp, whenever I watch you it is hard for me to tell if my video has frozen or not because your face never moves. Please ask your opponent to emote so I know it's live!

Hey Kripp Papparrian here. Im very proud of you my boy. So I bought 5 packs of OJ for you. I also booted up Pornhub for you so you can fap right away when you are home. I miss you very much. I hope you come back to Canadaland soon.

☑ "This guy's dick is crazy!" ☑ "My pecker can't win against a boner like that" ☑ "He needed PRECISELY those two inches to win!" ☑ "He shot the only sperm that could topdick me" ☑"He had the perfect jizz"☑"He came on my face perfectly" ☑ "There was nothing left to ejaculate"

It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”

☑ “These Kripp nudes are DISGUSTING!” ☑ “My dick won’t budge with nudes like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those two balls to win" ☑ “He took the only nudes that could make me sick” ☑ "He had the worst dick" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but puke”

ｉᴡａɴｔ ᴛｏ ᴛｏᴜｃʜ ｔʜｅ ᴋｒɪｐᴘａʀｒɪａɴ

Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.

Attention Kripp: As a friendly vegan lawyer, you need to inform chat this is 100% sellout stream. If you want to stay away from vegan prison where meat is stuffed into all new inmates, inform chat now.

Lettuce (Lactuca sativa) was first discovered by Octavian Morosan in 2019. A leafy, green vegatable, he named it lettuce after the frantic cries from his wife and two dogs chained in the basement of, "Let us out!"

Hey Kripp, I just wanted to thank you for the public service you performed earlier this year by releasing the Hafu nudes. I had suffered from ED for 14 years. My dick was limp like an overcooked linguini in a salty marinara. But now, I am able to stay rigid like a raw penne and my wife loves it. Thank you Kripp for saving my penis and my marriage!

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.

Hey dirtbag, this is Pogo's father. I hear you trash talking my son and ignoring my wife. I know you got some weird murloc fetish but you better pick my son or I'll get my old high school buddy Tanner and we will shove those carrots where the vegan sun don't shine.

Hey @nl_Kripp , disabled former Streamer here. You're reacting pretty aggressive to your chat's worries regarding your hand washing after toilet. It seems you have something to hide. Let me tell you something: I was there too. I went to the toilet and didn't wash my hands. Nobody saw it, nobody would know it. But chat asked. And I lied. Then I got sick. My hands got infected from bacteria and had to be amputated. Now I can't play games any more for a living. Don't make the same mistake, Kripp.

Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｍｏｔｏｒｂｉｋｅ Ｇｕｙ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ

Hi guys Kripp here with VEGAN FACTS! Did you know that milk is literally !Worse Than Hitler! and also killed many people during the Twitch Chat-ocaust in the 1940's? If you drink milk your bones will be as frail as Reynad's Rag RNG and you'll basically be Leifman's brother. Well, that's all for today's vegan facts! Bye guys! BRO FIST!!

After his shift at McDonald's, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, waiting for Kripp's stream to begin. As soon as Kripp's face appears, he begins one of his tirades, insulting and mocking Kripp, the happily-married, multi-millionaire video game streaming sensation. "That'll show him", Tanner mutters to himself, as his life continues its downward spiral.

My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta

( ͡↑ ͜ʖ ͡↑) Riding the chat elevator all the way to Kripp ( ͡↑ ͜ʖ ͡↑)

Coke is not vegan. Vegans and vegetarians should note that a our drinks contain small traces of fish gelatine, which is used as a stabiliser for the beta-carotene colour. Not only is Kripp a casual gamer, he is a casual vegan as well!

Dear kripp, I wrote you but still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's dexter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you kripp, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan P.S. we should be together too