I used to be a real ad
Sort by:

Kripp whines some more...

twitchquotes: ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀᴇᴅ, "Hᴇ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇᴀᴛ... ᴍᴇ...
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Today is the day I copypasta

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Kripp please supply the world with some salt

twitchquotes: Dear nl_Kripp with the Earth's salt mines running low near depletion. We can always rely on you for stepping up to the plate and supplying the world with some PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist. What simpletons experience, specifically in the sense of a game having a "soul" is a feeling of comfort, enjoyment and fulfillment (among other positive feelings). Those simpletons, usually rarely experience such feeling, especially outside of gaming, and cannot comprehend that non simpletons can find positive feelings and emotion in many games (as well outside of gaming). You're a prime example of such creature, and the most fascinating part is you do not even understand or comprehend how wasted and useless your mind is. Truly a wonder to behold and a warning for all parents.
June 2021

Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD

twitchquotes: Yo QT, it's me... Scarra... I know what we said before and I hope we can just put it behind us... We need an Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD to come carry us. Peng Yalang just isn't doing it for us anymore.... FailFish
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Dennis

twitchquotes: when dennis smite, my eye automatically go to the hero health. i watch the hero health and feel i have sex with the 2 skipped turn. all becoming sudoku
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'

twitchquotes: My favorite streamer is the Kripparrian. I often find my self watching his old vods just to stare and look at his 'salty boy' body. Any BM plays he performed really showcased his pristine hearthstone skill. Sometimes i pause the stream and masterbait numerous times. The reveal of his diablo t-shirt never ceases to excite me. Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hi Kripp, this is OJ, your long lost brother

twitchquotes: ʜɪ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴊ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏɴɢ ʟᴏsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ. ɪ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠɪᴀ ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴄᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ ᴀ ʜᴜɢ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟᴇᴛs ʙᴏɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙs, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴛᴀʀʀɪɴɢ ᴏɴᴇ... ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʀᴇᴘʟʏ ᴀsᴀᴘ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ - ᴏᴊ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Kripp. It's Morpheus from future talking to you

twitchquotes: Hello ĸrιpp, ιт’ѕ мorpнeυѕ ғroм ғυтυre тalĸιng тo yoυ. ι нave 2 cнoιceѕ ғor yoυ, вlυe pιll or red pιll. вlυe pιll вrιngѕ yoυ lιғe, woмen, cнιleттe, dog, caт, cнιld, caѕυalιтy and no vιewerѕ. red pιll вrιngѕ yoυ nolιғe, oj, no dιѕтracтιonѕ ғroм oυтѕιde world, pro ѕтaтυѕ and vιewerѕ. cнooѕe wιѕely мιѕтer ĸrιpperѕon.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

I'm going all in boys!

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ IM GOING ALL IN B O Y S! ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you

twitchquotes: (Ɔ ˘⌣˘(˘⌣˘) Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you. (˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ C)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Rank 11 can be tough

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʀᴀɴᴋ 11 ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ, sᴛᴀʏ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʙʀᴏ. Yᴏᴜʀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɢᴜʏs ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ sᴏ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ! Sᴏᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴀʀᴇɴᴀ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴄᴀɴ ᴡɪɴ ɢᴀᴍᴇs. Aʜʜ ʏᴇs... ᴀʀᴇɴᴀ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴsᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴ ɪssᴜᴇ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

People watch reynad just to masturbate

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Reynad does it bother you that out of 15k viewers, its highly likely that some people watch your stream just to masturbate? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Life is good

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Stay positiveヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ Kripp is excellent (◕‿◕✿) Chat is excellent ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ Kitty is soft (◕‿◕✿) ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ Life is good (◕‿◕✿_)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing