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Having trouble climbing the ladder this season

twitchquotes: Hey Andrew, it's your mother. I have noticed that you are having trouble climbing the ladder this season and wanted to let you know that there is this website called Tempostorm.com that will help you get to legend. The nice man in the video said that you could stay ahead of the meta and becsome legendary.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Marketing Director for Doritos messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏs, ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋ ᴏʀᴡᴇʟʟ ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀᴋᴀ ᴄ.ᴏ. ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ. sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ sᴇʟʟᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ! ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇʀᴄɪᴀʟ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴛᴏsɪs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғʀɪᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ғʀɪᴛᴏʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Meeting Kripp at the urinals

twitchquotes: hey "kripp" we met at the urinals at the taco bell in LA..i asked you if i could shake your donger and you never responded...please confirm and we can meet again thanks
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

I am going to donate this big bunch of salt to you!

twitchquotes: This is a very interesting stream Kripp, you always makes me feel better everyday when watching with your oh so sweet voice, i am therefore going to donate this big bunch of salt i saved for you! PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

BREAKING NEWS

twitchquotes: ＢＲＥＡＫＩＮＧ ＮＥＷＳ： Ａｆｔｅｒ ｂｒｕｔａｌ ａｎａｌ ｆｉｓｔｉｎｇ ｐｅｒｆｏｒｍｅｄ ｂｙ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａｎ ｇｙｐｓｙ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ， Ｓａｎｄｏｗｎ＇ｓ ａｎｕｓ ｈａｄ ａｎ ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎａｌ ｂｒｅａｋｄｏｗｎ ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｅｄ ｆｏｒ ａｔｔｅｎｔｉｏｎ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅａｍ ｏｆ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ．
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's high time in coma

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is doctor Jeffrey Shih from the Athens General Hospital. You’ve been in a coma for several years now due to an overload of copypasta. I’m trying out a new method to get through to you. Please wake up! Your family misses you very much. Please wake up, you *** retard!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

When chat spam my kripp stream crashes

twitchquotes: Hey guys. I am living in poor family with low interneting and very cheap pc barely handle kripp stream at 5 fps and when chat spam my kripp stream crashes so please dont spam the chat thank you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Life is good

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Stay positiveヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Kripp is excellent (◕‿◕✿) Chat is excellent ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Kitty is soft (◕‿◕✿) ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Life is good (◕‿◕✿_)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Silence the silenced watcher

twitchquotes: Silence the silenced watcher to counter the silence
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'

twitchquotes: My favorite streamer is the Kripparrian. I often find my self watching his old vods just to stare and look at his 'salty boy' body. Any BM plays he performed really showcased his pristine hearthstone skill. Sometimes i pause the stream and masterbait numerous times. The reveal of his diablo t-shirt never ceases to excite me. Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

United Chat of Kripperica

twitchquotes: Wᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ɪɴ Oʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ sᴘᴀᴍ, ɪɴsᴜʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʟ, ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ OJ, ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟᴇssɪɴɢs ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀᴠɪᴏʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs, ᴅᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ ᴛʜɪs Kʀɪᴘᴘsᴛɪᴛᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ Uɴɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪᴄᴀ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward! I've never heard of you before but I just finished watching your HILARIOUS #FAIL video and I can safely say that it was one of the funniest and most erotic videos I have ever masturbated to in my time. Please keep making them so that my left arm will continue to grow stronger every day also BTW I am left handed
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

MIC VOLUME TOO LOW

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｓｕｂ ｍｏｄｅ ｏｆｆ， ｉ ａｐｐｌｙ ｃａｎｃｅｒ ｄｉｒｅｃｔｌｙ ｔｏ ｃｈａｔ． ｉ ｓｔａｒｅ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｔ ａｎｄ ｓａｙ ｔｈｅ ＭＩＣ ＶＯＬＵＭＥ ＩＳ ＴＯＯ ＬＯＷ ａｌｌ ｍａｋｉｎｇ ｒｅｙｎａｄ
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord 🤖+🤴 Jeff Divorcedzos 💔 Salmonella 🐔 Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🤡 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole 🥒💦 👉👌😳 🥒 Z 🥒 U 🥒 C 🥒 C 🥒 Tim 🍎 Bottom 🅱️ENIS Jack Ma MIA 🤷‍♂️ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods 🙏✝️
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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