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Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police

twitchquotes: Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police. You are in violation of Penal Code 420: Not Playing The Meta. You are hereby sentenced to 69 years in jail with Scarra and Dyrone.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Reports gather, and now my chat restriction begins

twitchquotes: ʀᴇᴩᴏʀᴛs ɢᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍy ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇsᴛʀɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇɢɪɴs. ɪᴛ sʜᴀʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴍy ᴩᴇʀᴍᴀ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀʀᴅ ɴᴏ ʙʀᴜsʜ, ᴡɪɴ ɴᴏ ɢᴀᴍᴇs, ғᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ᴛʀɪʙᴜɴᴀʟ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ʙᴀᴅɢᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɴᴏ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ᴩᴏsᴛ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏss. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴩᴀᴍs ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ғʟᴀᴍᴇs ʜɪs ᴛᴇᴀᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪᴅᴀʟᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴜᴩᴩᴏʀᴛs, ᴛʜᴇ sʜɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅs ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍs ᴏғ ᴍᴇɴ. ɪ ᴩʟᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴍy ᴍᴏᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴇyʙᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪs ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
What happened to this ad? :(

Leifman, please go back to work in the salt plant

twitchquotes: Stop it, guys. I'm Leifman's sister, and mother of our beautiful little daughter, Leifgirl. The spam and constant harassment in this chat is driving my beloved Leifman insane. Since he became moderator, he's spending all his time here, and can't provide for his family, anymore. Please, Leifman, get back to work in our salt plant, we need the money.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Let's snipe

twitchquotes: "PARFAIT!", says the Chief of the French Police. "We now have ze best one! Come my friend, together we can stop ze terrorists! Welcome to our ZNIPER TEAM!!". A smile appears on HufferNudes face. "Let's snipe".
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Imaqtpie, where are you listening to this VILE music?!

twitchquotes: QT have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that. I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Michael 'imaqtpie' Santana.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: NAXX BETA OUT Iɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ғʀᴇᴇ Nᴀxx ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ's ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ (ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜʟɪɢʜᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ). Gᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɢᴏɴᴇ, ᴏɴʟʏ 463 ɴᴀxx ᴋᴇʏs ʟᴇғᴛ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Kripp starts a salt mine

twitchquotes: As Kripp frantically tries to fix his router and internet issues. The stays dedicated and vigilante. After trying to fix these issues that arose at hand he finally came to realize that this was all worth nothing. He stopped fixing the issues and threw his computer out the window. He started up a Salt Mining company in the Himalayan mountains called Kripp Salt. He is starting a family and all is well. Thanks Kripp. BibleThump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018

Trent from high school

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name here] this is Trent from highschool. Remember that girl you liked, Jessica? Yeah we're married now. Sucks for you wasting your life away playing stupid video games. I have a big job in a huge company, a beautiful wife, two kids, and a nice car. What do you have huh? A PC? HA! I own five of those. And your chat is stupid. Bye loser!
twitch chat
January 2019

Tanner from High School

Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

Why are we whispering

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ʷʰʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʷᵉ ʷʰˢᵖᵉʳⁿᵍ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
August 2014
Riot Games

Lazy gypsy man Kipparian

twitchquotes: Every days the lazy gypsy man Kipparian plays the game on computer when he make future wife Rania cook foods for him all day in kichen. Kripp stream can see Rania deliver food to him on Twich every day like slavery. Romani kripp must be stop rania is edcated woman who to good to be make food and babies for horrible gypsy man Kripparian all day. I be beg you all to help save good girl rania from life of barefeet in kichens.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

SHOW YOUR KNEECAPS TO THE WORLD QTPIE

twitchquotes: All my life has led to this one moment. It could happen. But it could also dissipate before my very eyes. This is it. This is MY DREAM. Show them to me Qtpie, fuck dude, SHOW THEM TO THE WORLD! KNEECAPS. We all know you have them. NOW GIVE THEM TO ME. Plz no copy pasterino....
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Eredar Lord of the Casual Legion

twitchquotes: YOU FACE KRIPPARRIAN: EREDAR LORD OF THE CASUAL LEGION
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

When drums play, my hands automatically type Kreygasm

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ when drums play, my hands automatically type Kreygasm , i live for the moment and when Kripp comes i feel i have sex with the stream, all becoming well met. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

An anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle? And I'm referring to supercharged Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle with Princess Celestia's guidance, full understanding of the Power of Friendship, control of The Elements of Harmony and Spike, equipped with her royal tiara, the Castle of Friendship, and the Rainbow Friendship Kingdom, as well as her Rainbow Sheen and Rainbow Power, with the magic of all the Alicorns implanted in her chest to give her full control of magic?
twitch chat
September 2017

All is then right with the world

twitchquotes: Maybe his long Journey away from the evil drug that is Hearthstone has brought moral clarity to his life. Kripp rises up and breaks away from the shackles the succubus has locked Kripp in. Papaparrian holds the key and sets Kripp's mind free. He swears to never go back to Greece or play Hearthstone ever again. Kripp moves back in with Papa and finally gets his OJ sponsorship. The beautifully creamy wall is vibrant as Kripp uploads his newest video in the old wonderland. "Hey guys how's it going, Kripparian here." Kripp starts up PoE again in anticipation of the new expansion being released, theory crafting builds. He is happy and filled with life each day of streaming. All is then right with the world.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

I am a heron

twitchquotes: i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
twitch chat
July 2014
Stivitybobo

The One Who Brings Salt

twitchquotes: Tells the legend that a long time ago all sea's water was fresh. But one tragic day a baby came out of the sea and was found by a group of african sea men. One week later, after the little baby saw the sea men play Hearth of Stone all the water turned salty. So they named him Kripp, which in Afrikaans means The One Who Brings Salt
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing