[Copypasta] Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–’โ–„
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing