twitchquotes:
ABORTION TEST If the arms ⊿?⊾ touch the coat hanger, you are ARRESTED ⎝ 
⎠
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
Yao Ming Face / Bitch Please
░░░░░░░░███████████████░░░░░░░░
░░░░░█████████████████████░░░░░
░░░░████████████████████████░░░
░░░██████████████████████████░░
░░█████████████████████████████
░░███████████▀░░░░░░░░░████████
░░███████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███
░████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██
░█░░███████░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░██
█░░░░█████░░░░░░▄███████░░██░░█
█░░█░░░███░░░░░██▀▀░░░░░░░░██░█
█░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░▄██▄░░░░░░░███
█░░▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀▀█▄░██
█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░██░
░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░█░░
░░█░█░░░░░░░█░░░░░██▀▄░▄██░░░█░
░░█░█░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░
░░░██░░░░░░█░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░█░░
░░░██░░░░░░░█░░█▄▄▄▄░▀▀██░░█░░░
░░░██░░░░░░░█░░▀████████░░█░░░░
░░█░░█░░░░░░░█░░▀▄▄▄▄██░░█░░░░░
░░█░░░█░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░
░█░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░████████░░░░░░░
I will become the Fiora master
twitchquotes:
As the pain of hunger overtook the people of Africa they began to feel hope. "I will become the Fiora master!" said Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana. The people of Africa cheered.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
People watch reynad just to masturbate
Porn scene fanfic
Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?"
THEY FUCK