"why are you gay"
i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:
I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
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Gimme gimme chicken tendies
twitchquotes:
Gimme gimme chicken tendies, be they crispy or from Wendys. Spend my hard-earned good-boy points, on Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints. Mummy lifts me to the car, to find me tendies near and far. Enjoy my tasty tendie treats, in comfy big boy booster seats.
Gimme gimme chicken tendies, be they crispy or from Wendys. Spend my hard-earned good-boy points, on Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints. Mummy lifts me to the car, to find me tendies near and far. Enjoy my tasty tendie treats, in comfy big boy booster seats.
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Reynad
If PLTR hits 35 today
If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
WallStreetBets
Ben Shapiro
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Ahsoka Tano
twitchquotes:
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
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