"why are you gay"
i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him πππ so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&Mβs wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Itβs that kind of party."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, canβt resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)
At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocadoβs asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". Theyβve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriendβs brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking heβs keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesnβt know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brotherβs LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. Iβm literally pissing myself as I write this.
30% Salty
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββSALTY
what's the point in correcting me
what the fuck is the point in correcting me. You think I don't know how to spell "your"? I shortened it to "ur" because I was eating chips and typing one handed and didn't want to bother with those 2 extra letters just to please a fucking lifeless fat neckbeard like you.
Stop thinking you're smart just because you can correct somebody's spelling, you seem like a total fucking idiot jackass and I'm ashamed and disappointed that on the internet where there are millions of comments and commentors, I was still stuck with a response written by somebody like you.
You obviously knew what I meant, it's not like I spelt "your" as "s;ldkfjs;dlfkj". Take your fucking dildo keyboard out your crusty ass and realize that maybe you have no friends and plans tonight because you're an unlikeable cumstain who repels everybody away like opposite poles on a magnet.
The next time you comment like a fucking moron, ask yourself "would I rather write this useless comment or would I rather clean my fucking act up and stop being a little shitter". My New Years resolution is to never have the misfortune of you coming across any more of my comments and throwing up your shitty insight at me.
Harambe I'm coming
twitchquotes:
π« HARAMBE I'M COMING π«
π« HARAMBE I'M COMING π«
twitch chat