[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Bungie messages Dr Lupo about Destiny

twitchquotes: Hi DrLupo, it's Cliff, from Bungie. Yea I work two jobs, it's to afford my sick v6 BMW. Heard you were having some issues connecting to our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, with the notes 'Fortnite made you' and 'Tarkov Daddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only real Destiny streamers can play today. Feel free to submit an appeal, loser.
twitch chat
November 2020
DrLupo

Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name

twitchquotes: Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name. Thy Bad RNG come. Thy topdecks be done. On Arena as it is in Ranked. Give us this day our daily rant. And forgive us our button presses as we forgive those who don't press theirs against us. For thine is the never lucky. The bullsh*t RNG. Forever and ever. Ameno.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

HAHA Just kidding, it's still Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: H-hey kripp, do you remember me from 2000? Freshman year? It's Diablo 2. I just wanted to stop by since I haven't seen you in 18 years, I've been looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Diablo Immortal you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the cell phone awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing