[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
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Sloth

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠈⠉⠉⠄⢠⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⡬⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠅⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠁⠤⠄⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⣀⣠⣀⠄⢈⣑⣢⣤⡄⠔⠫⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠂⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣔⠂⡙⣿⣿ ⡿⠄⠄⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⣿ ⠇⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣼ ⠄⠄⠽⠿⠟⠋⠁⠙⠄⢠⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡠⢌⣧⠄⠈⠛⠉⠛⠐⡋⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⡿⠑⠚⠋⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠈⠄⢸ ⣄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⠟⠋⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠂⠛⡿⢟⠻⠃⠄⢼⣿⣿⣷⠤⠁⢸ ⣿⡄⠄⢀⢝⢓⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠠⠶⢺⣿⣯⣵⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠠⢾⣷⣄⢄⣀⡈⡀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢏⣀⣾ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠈⠈⠙⠑⠗⠙⠙⠛⠄⠈⠹⠻⢿⡻⣿⠿⢿⣝⡑⢫⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠐⠚⣨⣤⣾⣿⣿
November 2018

My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument

Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily. Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up. I've never been so proud. UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.
December 2021

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called “Talking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words “sing like dick”. The robot said “sing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said “sing like dick”. I was crying in fear, “is this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said “no”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: “666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

roleplay with you as your online gf

twitchquotes: I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don’t know me at all and i know it’s kinda weird. I just thought maybe it’d be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you’re straight. I’m a boy that’s why I was saying roleplay.. this isn’t a troll. again, I know it’s really random and weird. I’m sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here
twitch chat
July 2019

Classic

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing