[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp please supply the world with some salt

twitchquotes: Dear nl_Kripp with the Earth's salt mines running low near depletion. We can always rely on you for stepping up to the plate and supplying the world with some PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I'M SO STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT

twitchquotes: YOU SHOULD OF LEROYED OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Kripp subscribes to life

twitchquotes: ๏ผฉใ€€๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝใ€€๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ†๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆใ€€๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ†ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ใ€€๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ผ›ใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ—ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝใ€€๏ผฉใ€€๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ„๏ผŸใ€€๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ“ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ†ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผฆ๏ผฅ๏ผใ€€iโ€™๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ’๏ฝ™ใ€€๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ”ใ€€๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผณใ€€๏ผญ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผจใ€€๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝŽโ€™๏ฝ”ใ€€๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ใ€€๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŒใ€€๏ผต๏ผฎ๏ผณ๏ผต๏ผข๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผค๏ผŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Yee

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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May 2016
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