[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

If I see one more AYAYA

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm really trying to fucking watch the fucking channel and you all fucking spam your fucking copypastas non-fucking-stop and it's getting really fucking annoying. If I see one more fucking AYAYA, monkAS, "Press 1 if", :), counting, dancing emotes, "Only the true champion can champ this pog", or worst of all LONG TEXT COPYPASTAS, I'm going to fucking sign up for the fucking mars mission you fucks.
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021

Crewmate Amogus Spiderman

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡿⠛⠻⠷⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠟⠉⠀⠙⣦⣀⣀⣀⣠⡤⠴⡿⣄⡀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠙⠓⠒⡶⢯⣙⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠁⠀⠈⣳⡤⠤⠴⠚⣟⠛⠒⠒⠒⣺⠳⢤⣀⣉⣻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠶⠶⣤⣾⡁⠀⠀⢀⡜⠉⣧⣠⣤⣴⣾⣶⠶⠶⠶⠷⣶⣶⣶⣬⣭⣙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⠀⠙⢲⣞⠁⣠⡾⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠏⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣦⣾⠃⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⣸⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡄ ⠀⠀⣠⡿⠿⡄⠀⠀⠈⣿⡀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⣴⣃⣤⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⣰⡿⠁⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⣿⠿⣶⣴⡷⠒⠋⠻⡄⠀⢹⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃ ⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⣀⣴⡏⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠻⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠋⠀ ⢸⡿⢧⠀⠀⢀⡼⠯⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡄⠀⣇⡤⠞⠉⠻⢷⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠈⢧⣠⠎⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡞⠛⠢⣄⠀⣠⠏⠈⠉⡿⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⠉⠁⣴⠟⠁⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⠃⠀⡼⠧⣄⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠘⣶⣁⡀⠀⡼⠁⢀⡀⠀⠘⡇⣀⣠⣤⣬⣷⣾⠏⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣀⡞⠁⠀⠈⢣⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⡼⠁⠀⠉⣹⠛⠉⠉⡉⠉⢙⣏⠁⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⡿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡾⠁⠀⠀⢀⡇⢠⠂⣜⣠⣤⠸⡟⢣⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⣨⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡗⠒⠲⢤⣸⠀⣸⣄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣞⣠⣤⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⢸⣇⠀⠀⢹⡀⡰⠃⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣹⢉⡽⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀ ⠘⣿⡀⠀⠈⡿⠁⠀⢸⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⡟⠘⡅⢇⢸⣿⣿⠇⡇⡸⠀⠀⣿⠀⢀⣀⣠⣼⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⢻⣇⠀⣰⠛⠒⠦⣼⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⢻⣷⣦⣼⡏⠉⠓⠦⣿⠤⠵⠾⠾⠿⢿⣸⣯⠧⠖⠚⣿⡾⠟⠋⠉⣹⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⣶⠇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣼⣀⣈⣙⣃⡀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣸⣁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⠶⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⢘⣧⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢉⡉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⠻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡷⠶⠶⠶⢶⡶⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⠶⠿⠛⠋⠁⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡍⠙⠛⢿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⠿⠟⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠉⠁⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠲⢦⣼⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⠖⠚⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣧⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

Text-to-Speech Playing