I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Trainwrecks that's true
twitchquotes:
True aaaaaaaaaaaand... Yeah, that's pretty true. That's true and- yeah that's true. That's true. That's true- That's pretty true. That's pretty true, I mean-... That's true. Yeah. That's true. Uhm- That's true. That's fuckin' true. Uhm... That's how it is dude
twitch chat
Trainwreckstv
Sheldon says BAZINGA
"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
MLK day emojipasta
heyyy 👋 Marthin Luther QUEENS 👯♀️ i have a dream 😴 🛌 that you will be dicked 🍆 down ⬇️ tonight like DADDY 👨🏿🦳 Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted 😌✊🏿 so MARCH 🚶♀️ on down ⬇️ to his washington monument 🇺🇸 and have a SIT IN 🧎♀️ on that DICK 🍆🍆 Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK 🗽 like a TRUE PATRIOT 🗽 segregate those cheeks 🍑 tonight it doesn’t matter 🙅♀️ if his fountain 🍆💦 is BLACK or WHITE 🤝 we are all CUMRADES 💦💦 in the fight against discrimination 😍 SOAK those PANTIFA 🩲 our TWERK is not over ‼️ SEND this 📤 to ✌️ every WOKE HOE 🤯 you know 🆘 Get 2️⃣0️⃣ BACK to END racism ✊ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL 👉👌 HARMONY ☮️
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
MLK Day
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! 
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
Among Us / Amogus
Ugandan Knuckles 2
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