[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
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My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
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December 2014
Forsen

I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰Β·οΈ»Μ·β”»ΜΏβ•β”δΈ€I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS
twitch chat
January 2015
strifecro

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€      
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

some times i supper glue my thumbs

twitchquotes: some times i supper glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend im a t rex
twitch chat
June 2018

Classic

I meet Nigerian Princess on Internet

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp. You say you welly unlucky last few days. I've been unlucky last few years. But ever since i start watch your stream last week my luck improve. I meet nigerian princess on internet who promise me 100 billion usd and a full golden Ragnaros
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing