[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

The ogrelord. Shrek.

November 2014

Shrek

4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent

twitchquotes: What chat is glossing over with this "misplay" is the 4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent. He's making the opponent think he's a terrible player, and therefore more likely to make bad choices, when in reality he's playing against Kripparian the master of salt, and salty plays. He's a real wiz at juking people in a children's card game.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Gen G logo

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July 2021

Response to Pokimane saying she's disgusted by cum tributes

Really tired of being treated like Public Enemy #1 sometimes. There are a lot worst things going on in the world than a bunch of guys whipping out their cocks and sharing pics and vids of them and our loads. Especially when a lot of us are some of your biggest fans and simps who wouldn't hurt a fly and are just showing support in our own way. Just leave me in peace when I've had a bad day, need a release and you helped me through it.
July 2022
Pokimane

Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing