[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Me and you know the real struggle

twitchquotes: Reynaldo, I have consistently around ten viewers, and its so annoying whenever I stream because I constantly get sniped, these plebs wouldn't understand, me and you know the real struggle. I have an 100% win rate when im not streaming and only a 5% when I am, just like you.
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Keepo

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ascii art
November 2014

Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real?

I’m not trying to be an asshole. Think about this before answering. Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real? God, the Bible, Jesus, death on a cross, resurrection … all of it. What then?
June 2022

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena

twitchquotes: KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena and pry their dirty leeching talons from your spine. that app is complete trash and the only reason the meta is the way the meta is, is because literally every drooling fucking noob uses that app and just mindleslly picks whatever cards they recomend. DELETE that SHIT and start forging a new meta with your skill and creativity. you have a high IQ but you arent fucking using it. youre being sapped kripp
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

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