[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Art of Conquest Developer visits Kripp's stream

twitchquotes: 🔧(Art of Conquest™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to read the script we sent at the appropriate times, as stated. We have arranged for your requested reward of various veggies and rainbowed colored 10-inch cucumbers to arrive within a week at your house. We will send you some thick broccoli if you include "not sponsored" in your stream title. We hope you will enjoy your rewards and wish you and your vegan family a good day.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Something about Qtpie's play...

twitchquotes: i'm lying on my bed watching Qtpie stream.. my knees are up.. i'm trying to close my legs... but something about Qtpie's play makes me want to force my hands.. lower.. and lower.. i'm so embarassed...my fist is clenched so tight.. as i bite hard.. on my lips
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
June 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

Stop objectifying Kripp

twitchquotes: I am honestly so sick and tired of people objectifying Kripp. Like yeah I get it he's a hyper-attractive vegan with large muscles and a beautiful aesthetic but that's not the point of the stream. I remember the good old days when he played PoE and everyone was just here for the memes and the gameplay but things have changed. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the healthy lifestyle Kripp has adopted and I find it hard to look away from the camera but it just feels wrong. Maybe I'm just jealous
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Fancy Schmancy F

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July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing