[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hello Mr. Squirrel it's nice to meet you!

twitchquotes: You're acting similar to a squirrel eating his peanuts! XD Guess who's an adorable squirrel? It's you Reynad!! Wooo. Let's see how many peanuts you can hide in your cheeks! Hello Mr. Squirrel it's nice to meet you!
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May 2015
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EVERYONE GET IN HERE

twitchquotes: เผผ ยบู„อœยบเผผ ยบู„อœยบเผผ ยบู„อœยบ เผฝยบู„อœยบ เผฝยบู„อœยบ เผฝ ๏ผฅ๏ผถ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผฅ๏ผŒ๏ผง๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ ๏ผจ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผฅ เผผ ยบู„อœยบเผผ ยบู„อœยบเผผ ยบู„อœยบ เผฝยบู„อœยบ เผฝยบู„อœยบ เผฝ
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mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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