[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018

Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle

twitchquotes: As Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle with his long hard white sword, he fondly remembered the time that Doug Bowser pounded him until he became bald. Aura was so entranced that he was distracted from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

VoHiYo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠀⠀⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠿⠿⠿⠣⣶⣿⡏⣶⣿⣿⠷⠶⠆⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⡅⠀⠀⠠⢶⣿⣿⣷⡄⣀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⡶⣦⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠸⠟⢸⣿⣿⣷⡆⠢⣉⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⣧⣿⣇⠀⠀⡇⠀⢠⣷⣲⣺⣿⣿⣇⠤⣤⣿⣿⠀⢸⠀⣤⣶⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⢇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⡜⣾⣿⡃⠇⢀⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣮⡆⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⡿⠋⢀⠞⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⠇⣶⣤⣄⢀⣰⣷⣶⣿⠁⡰⢃⣴⣿⡿⢋⠏⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣿⣿⣿⣞⠿⣿⣿⢿⢸⣷⣌⠛⠋⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⢿⣿⣿⠟⡁⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⢩⣥⣾⣷⠐⡌⠙⠃⠀
October 2020

Weebs

ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018

Bush outdated, Obama overrated, Hillary eliminated

twitchquotes: Jebaited BUSH OUTDATED Jebaited OBAMA OVERRATED Jebaited HILLARY ELIMINATED Jebaited TRUMP CONGRATULATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE EMIGRATED Jebaited
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

Text-to-Speech Playing