[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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Peter Pistachio

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Pแด‡แด›แด‡ส€ Pษชsแด›แด€แด„สœษชแด สแดแดœส€ แดสŸแด… สœษชษขสœ sแด„สœแดแดสŸ แด›แด‡แด€แดแดแด€แด›แด‡. Cแดแด€แด„สœ Dแดษดษขแด‡ส€ แด„แด€สŸสŸแด‡แด… แดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แด›แดสŸแด… แดแด‡ สแดแดœ'ส€แด‡ ษดแดแดก แด˜สŸแด€สษชษดษข แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸs แด€ษดแด… ษดแดแด› แด›สœแด‡ สœแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ แด€แด› แด€สŸสŸ. Iา“ แดแดœส€ แด…แด€สs แดษด แด›สœแด‡ า“แดแดแด›ส™แด€สŸสŸ า“ษชแด‡สŸแด… แด›แด€แดœษขสœแด› แดœs แด€ษดสแด›สœษชษดษข ษชแด›'s แด›แด แด€สŸแดกแด€สs แด˜สŸแด€ส Hแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ 100% แดา“ แด›สœแด‡ แด›ษชแดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษดแด‡แด แด‡ส€ sสŸษชแด˜ ษชษดแด›แด แด›สœแด‡ แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸs. Mแด€สส™แด‡ ษชา“ สแดแดœ ษขแด ส™แด€แด„แด‹ แด›แด สœแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ แดกแด‡ แด„แด€ษด แดแด€แด‹แด‡ แดกษชแด›สœ แด›สœแด‡ สœษชษขสœ า“ษชแด แด‡s แด€ษดแด… sสœแด€ส€แด‡ แด›สœแด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ส€s แดกษชแด›สœ สแดแดœ แด€ษดแด… Rแด€ษชษดแด€ษดแด€. แด˜สŸs ษดแด แด„แดแด˜แด€ส€ษชษดแด แด€สŸ แด˜แด€แด„สœษชษดแด ษขษชส€สŸา“ส€ษชแด‡ษดแด… sแด›แด‡แด€สŸแด€ส€ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Poop

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„TSMโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
June 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

Genuine Kripp Smile

twitchquotes: Look at him, look at that smile. That's a genuine Kripp Smileโ„ข there if I ever saw one. Now chat, if you pay close attention you'll realize that these rare, genuine demonstrations of happiness only actually happen when Kripp is playing Hearthstone. Not Artifact, not Magic, not anything else. Hearthstone is where Kripp's heart really is at. We just have to understand and support that, no matter what.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Mutant Seagull

ascii art
April 2017
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