PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC
twitchquotes:
(sponsored message) WOW! I love the way this game looks. The graphics are great and the framerate is perfect! I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC and just moving over to mobile because this seems like the far superior product. Thank you Kripp for showing me this amazing new game.
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds
I hate that guy's emotes so much
twitchquotes:
I hate that guy's emotes so much. They all look like some 6 year old made them in MS Paint, and I'm not talking about the purposefully bad ones. And all they do is portray emotions already done by the default emotes; The best custom emotes are ones that do things you can't easily do with the defaults. And the insufferable people who use those emotes find any reason to use any of them, even if they're not related, because they're that proud of a 4.99 purchase. I'd rather sub to a guy I liked watc
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Pennywise 2
⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⠄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
⠈⢿⣿⣿⣏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢅⠄⠶⠿⣿⡿
⠄⠈⣿⣿⡏⣀⠉⡍⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⢠⣆⢆⡀⠄⠄⠈
⠟⢃⣼⣿⣿⭕⣀⣶⣬⣛ ⠈⠄⢀⣠⣼⣿⡿⡁⠄⭕⠄ ⠄
⣼⣿⣿⣿⢷⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⣛⠛⠿
⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖
⢀⣾⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄
⢿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰
⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣏
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⠎
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⡤⣼⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡴
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⡟⠑⠋⠄
I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!
twitchquotes:
"I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" 
"Get on the plane." 🎶🎵I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎵🎶
"I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" "Get on the plane." 🎶🎵I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎵🎶
twitch chat
Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom
twitchquotes:
Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?
twitch chat
Kripp