[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dex sits in a huge doghouse

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Bowsette copypasta

twitch chat
October 2018

Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019

AYAYA star

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡴⠶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠶⢦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠈⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠁⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠸⣇⠉⠻⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⠟⠉⣸⠇⠄⠄⠄⠹⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡆⠄⠄⠙⠷⣦⣴⠾⠋⠄⠄⢰⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣧⠄ ⢰⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢀⣤⡾⠋⠙⢷⣤⡀⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡆ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣷⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠟⠉⢻⡄⠄ AYAYA ⠄⣾⡟⠉⠻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⢀⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⡀⠄⠄⣿ ⠸⣧⠾⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢾⣷⠶⠶⠶⠶⣾⡷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠷⣼⠇ ⠄⢻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡟⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⠄⠄⣾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣇⣸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠳⠶⣦⣤⣼⣧⣤⣴⠶⠞⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Weebs

NaM

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣍⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡩⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢷⣝⣞⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠉⠂⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡉⠄⢹⣿⡀⠐⠂⢁⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⣀⣥⣦⡾⠄⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⡀⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠄⠂⠛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠸⣿⣼⡏⠁⠄⠘⢻⡛⢓⡛⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠏⠃⠄⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢻⣾⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣽⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣈⠙⢉⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing