[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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The current meta is so good STUNNED

twitchquotes: hey chat *STUNNED* the current *STUNNED* meta is so *STUNNED* good, as a *STUNNED* tank main i *STUNNED* find myself *STUNNED* getting more *STUNNED* compliments for *STUNNED* shatters
twitch chat
July 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Who is this salt vegan casual - Rania's cat

twitchquotes: Here i was, minding my own business, when suddenly this potato headed idiot just waltzes right into my life alwasy yelling 'topdeck this' and 'insane that'. who the *** is this salty vegan casual? i just want to eat and sleep all day, not listen to this oj guzzling nerd. Rania pls. -- sincerely, cat
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

AYAYA NaM tank

twitchquotes: โ–ˆ AYAYA โ–ˆ โ–ˆ ]โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ ๐Ÿ’ฅ NaM ..............โ–‚โ–„โ–…โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–…โ–„โ–ƒโ–‚ .............โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ] .............โ—ฅโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ–ฒโŠ™โ—ค
twitch chat
July 2019

Weebs

krippO

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
August 2016
Kripp
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