[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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More Copypastas

Tomato Town Police Report

The residents of Tomato Town need your help identifying two suspects who were about to get down while involved in an event on Monday evening. Ten people were eliminated, and the two suspects, one injured, left the scene headed Southbound and were later spotted at a local park. The two suspects were armed with golden scar ARs and were “hitting that chug jug” as several witnesses stated. Please alert local Tomato Town authorities with any information regarding the duo.
March 2021

Fortnite

How to deal with unsportsmanlike player at chess club?

Theres a very unsportsmanlike player at our club who constantly taunts and belittles everyone else. Whenver you make a mistake he yells out "blunder!" or "inaccuracy!" ... "better move was..." and then says the engine move or what he thinks the engine move is. He also says what he thinks the engine +- is. He plays the kings gambit as much as he can and knows like 30 moves deep into every variation. If you respond something other than e5 to 1.e4 he just laughs and calls you a patzer. He's also OBSESSED with Hikaru Nakamura. He talks about him all the time and shows everyone a picture of him with Hikaru (Its really blurry so its hard to tell if its even him). He's constantly talking about him as if he's a close friend even though he only (maybe?) met him one time. Its bordering on creepy and makes everyone uncomfortable. He calls him "Hikaru-San" which I think is part of his obsession with Japanese culture. He also brings japanese noodles/Ramen to the club every day and will spend like 5-10 minute eating them during his turn just to taunt you. Meanwhile he will be mumbling words in japanese. We tried approaching about his conduct but he just did some weird anime villain laugh, yelled something in Japanese, then ran off to challenge another person to a blitz match. We obviously don't want to tell him not to come but it feels like his presence is deterring new people from joining and its also exhuasting.
February 2022

Chess

tyler imo u are the best league of legends player

twitchquotes: tyler imo u are the best league of legends player in the history, you show skills and wits beyond anyone else who played the game, and is improving on a daily basis. you show great promise as long as you keep doing what you're doing right now. cheers
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Crying Wojak behind mask

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣛⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣵⣾⣿⢟⣫⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⠯⠿⢿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠧⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣖⡻⣽⣷⣶⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢟⢻⢸⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣫⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣁⡉⣭⣭⣟⣋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⢿⣿⣹⣿⣿⢲⣶⣶⣮⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣣⣤⣴⣮⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⣂⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⡗⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⡟⣿⣦⣝⢿⣿⣿⣯⡿⣛⣋⠽⠿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⡇⠝⢿⣿⣷⣤⣙⣿⠿⠿⢿⣛⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⣬⡻⢢⠸⠡⠩⠻⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⡁⠲⣶⣆⢮⡙⡛⢛⣛⣫⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢟⣼⣿⠟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⡺⣭⣄⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Florida Mayhem McDonald's

twitchquotes: Guys, the color scheme of McDonald's consists of red, yellow, and white. It does not include blac k like Florida Mayhem. Stop spamming about how they are McDonald's already. It's untrue and unfunny.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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