[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

"Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said

twitchquotes: "Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Moon's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to insert your payload?" protests Moon, as Seagull blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Moon. "Weak tank play, Moon." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Seagull charges like Reinhardt through Moonโ€™s symmetra portal.
twitch chat
August 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

you're only a entertainment puppet for us

twitchquotes: haha damn must suck that you're hardstuck Masters all season :) . Maybe now you finally realize you're only a entertainment puppet for us and not a skilled player, like imaqtpie. EU sends their regards :)
twitch chat
November 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

NaCl deficiency disorder

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, your stream has changed my life completely. I suffer from severe NaCl (salt) deficiency disorder. I had to visit the hospital 5 times a week for salt injections. However, watching your stream supplies me enough salt through the screen. You saved me money time and effort. I can't thank you enough. I owe u my life.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

salty

Pikachu

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€
September 2016

Pokemon

Please play AD Sion

twitchquotes: แดษชsแด›แด‡ส€ sแด€ษดแด›แด€ษดแด€, ษช แด€แด ษดแดแด› แด˜แด€สษชษดษข แด€แด…ส™สŸแดแด„แด‹ า“ษชแด แด‡ แด…แดสŸสŸแด€ส€s แด€ แดแดษดแด›สœ ษชษด แด แดสŸแดœษดแด›แด€ส€ส แด„แดษดแด›ส€ษชส™แดœแด›ษชแดษดs แด›แด แดกแด€แด›แด„สœ สแดแดœ ษดแดแด› แด˜สŸแด€ส แด€แด… sษชแดษด. ษดแดแดก สŸแด‡แด›'s sแด‡แด‡ sแดแดแด‡ แดา“ แด›สœแด€แด› ษขแดแดแด… sสœษชแด› แดส€ แด‡สŸsแด‡ ษช แดษชษขสœแด› สœแด€แด แด‡ แด›แด แด„สŸษชแด„แด‹ แด›สœแด‡ sแดœส™sแด„ส€ษชส™แด‡ ส™แดœแด›แด›แดษด.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing