[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming

twitchquotes: Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming, the reigning World Champions, 3-1? This series is going down in history. No one will ever dare to call NA a wildcard region again. It's not just C9 anymore, the gap is closed. 8 years of being memed as a 4fun region, 8 years of people laughing at Doublelift being an international choker, enough is enough. We poked this monster too much, it finally got pissed, woke up, and it's fucking hungry.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Reynad's guitar is a prop, not an instrument

twitchquotes: Dear reynad why is that guitar used as a prop only and not an instrument. it saddens me to see that little guy sitting all alone without some to pluck his strings. he will never realize his full potential without your love. pls no copy pastarino bambino cappuccino.
twitch chat
October 2014
Reynad

Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski

twitchquotes: My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

forsenLevel

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡶⠤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣏⣀⣿⣿⣿⢳⣤⣜⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠾⠯⣭⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠙⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣽⣿⠄⠐⢦⣴⣶⢚⠋⠄⠄⣁⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠁⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠸⢷⣾⡄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠇⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿
April 2022
Forsen

Emote

One off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing