PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
It seems you've tarried Mrump
twitchquotes:
Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
Kripp
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐ฑ๐
Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โบ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐ฑ but when I came, ๐ป I started floating, ๐ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐คค ๐ ๐ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐คช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐ช
โIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ
I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐คค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐๐๐โน๏ธ
She then said I was going to a magical place called the โmental asylumโ 
Iโm not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐ฎ
Iโm not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐ฎ
Among Us / Amogus
Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?
Hey, vsauce, Micheal here!
Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?
Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection.
Erection.
The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights.
But what is "gay"?
To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow.
But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay.
Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
TL waiting for TSM at the airport
twitchquotes:
๐ 
HELLO TSM? ๐ TL HERE ๐ WE ARE WAITING AT THE MCDONALDS BY GATE 06 ๐
HELLO TSM? ๐ TL HERE ๐ WE ARE WAITING AT THE MCDONALDS BY GATE 06 ๐
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
EU vs NA
We subbed because we have cash, non-subs are trash
twitchquotes:
Hey you poor, underaged trash. You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am sub. Means im VIP. Means I got cash. What you got? You got sh!t. You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. We subbed because we have cash. Real life jobs, real life credit
twitch chat
Kripp