[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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More Copypastas

Secret Puerto Rican lover

twitchquotes: Hola, Kripp, this is Antonio, Rania's secret Puerto Rican lover. I mistakenly left a package of my Magnum XXL Heavy-Duty Condoms at your place last night while you were complaining about a children's card game. I was hoping I could swing by tonight and pick them up. I'll just go in through the backdoor just like how I do with Rania, the dirty girl! Thanks, and good luck with your funny little computer game!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Classic

Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

agontfConcern

⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⠕⠕⢕⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠁⣁⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⡄⢑ ⢕⢕⢕⠅⢁⣴⣤⠀⣀⠁⠑⠑⠁⢁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⢔ ⢕⢕⠕⠀⣿⡁⠄⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⠤⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡟⠀⢔⢕ ⢕⠕⠁⣴⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣇⠐⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠐⢕⢕ ⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠐⢕ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠐ ⢄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢕⢔⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢄⠈⠳⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⡍⢭⡍⢨⣯⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⠀⠈⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢕⠁⢠⣾⣶⣾⣭⣖⣛⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢕⢕⠅⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇ ⢕⠕⠀⠼⠟⢉⣉⡙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣛⣭⡴⠶⠶⠂⠀⠿⠿⠇
May 2022
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

Emote

For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky

twitchquotes: For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky. He climbs up from Bronze 3 to Diamond over the course of 4 years. Finally the day comes; he gets to play with Mr Scudderi. He picks Braum goes 1/10 gets flamed. He turns to alcohol and hard drugs. Starts beating his dog. Ends it in his mother's basement.
twitch chat
August 2019
Sneaky

League of Legends

stop babyraging

twitchquotes: let's put out some rant here. you babyrage guys are pathetic. whenever kripp judges an aspect of the game, all of you take it as being salty and babyraging. its simply talking and discussing the game, dont be so closed minded, chat please.
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing