[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

wake up this is all a dream

twitchquotes: wake up thijs PepeHands this is all a dream, but we don't have enough money to keep you living through your coma PepeHands we tried everything, if you don't wake up in a week we'll have to unplug you. PepeHands we love you PepeHands
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Donald Trump with mic

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⡉⣉⡛⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⡯⢙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡀⠄⢀⣀⣉⣉⣉⠁⠐⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣀⠈⠿⢟⡛⠛⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠰⣄⣴⡬⢵⣴⣿⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡉⠻⣿⡿⠁⠘⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⠻⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣧⣀⠾⠿⠶⠦⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⢀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⢣⣶⡒⠶⢤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠄⢘⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠻⠺⣼⣿⠟⠋⠛⠿⣿⣿ ⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠄⠰⡆⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⢦⣀⡀⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⠟⡋⠄⠄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢺⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⣿⡄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⢹⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘
August 2019

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

Male music with vocals of Gachirian era

twitchquotes: Dear host EZY WineTime of digital streams EZY WineTime gentlemen from chat EZY WineTime ask you to include male music EZY WineTime with vocals EZY WineTime of Gachirian era EZY WineTime
twitch chat
September 2020

KappaPride

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

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