[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Kill cummand face, huntard hardest deck in the game

twitchquotes: ｒｅｙｎａｄ ｉｓ ｄｅｅｐ ｉｎ ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔ． ＇ｄｏ ｉ ｐｌａｙ ｍｙ ｏｖｅｒｐｏｗｅｒｅｄ ｄｏｇ ｃａｒｄ ｎｏｗ ｏｒ ｌａｔｅｒ？＇． ｈｅ ｍａｋｅｓ ｔｈｅ ｍｉｓｐｌａｙ ｂｕｔ ｉｔ ｄｏｅｓｎ＇ｔ ｍａｔｔｅｒ． ｈｅ ｋｉｌｌ ｃｕｍｍａｎｄｓ ｔｈｅ ｆａｃｅ． ｈａｒｄｅｓｔ ｄｅｃｋ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｇａｍｅ．
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Copy whatever that brain dead moron types

twitchquotes: I swear all this chat ever does is pick the one idiot with the lowest IQ and copy whatever that brain dead moron types.
twitch chat
November 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

GivePlz

⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⡈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⢳⡄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠖⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢄⡙⠋⠻⡄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣩⠟⠟⠀⣼⣿⡄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣷⠀⠛⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣶⣄⠈ ⣏⣉⣛⣛⣛⣛⣥⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠟⠀ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢀⣼ ⡇⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣾⣿⣿
ascii art
May 2019

I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

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