PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I hope your sub's $5 are in Zimbabwean currency
twitchquotes:
Wow, Kripp, I was really impressed by how you drew adequate cards and played them in the same ball-numbing, drone-like motions you always do. I hope your sub's $5 are in Zimbabwean currency. ( ยฐ อสอกยฐ)โญโฉโฎ
twitch chat
Kripp
I'm already Tracer
twitchquotes:
โ Maybe Iโll be Tracer ๐๐จ๐ฐ๏ธ โ Iโm already Tracer ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉ โ What about Widowmaker ๐๐ท๏ธ โ Iโm already Widowmaker ๐ธ๏ธ ๐๐ฟ๐ฏIโll be Bastion ๐ค ๐ซ NออEออ RฬทอFอ ออ BASอฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอาา โฐ๏ธ ๐คท Youโre right; so, Winston ๐ต๐๐ฟ ๐ I wanna be Winston ๐ฆ ๐ก๏ธ I guess Iโll be Genji ๐ฑโ๐ค ๐ Iโm already Genji ๐ค ๐ Then Iโll be McCree ๐ค ๐ ๐ซ I already chose McCree ๐โ ๏ธ โ I have an idea ๐ โ Whatโs your idea? 
๐ You should beโ ๐๐ฆถ ๐
Iโm not gonna be Mercy โผ๏ธโจ
๐ You should beโ ๐๐ฆถ ๐
Iโm not gonna be Mercy โผ๏ธโจ
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Overwatch
Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3
twitchquotes:
Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3 , but he manages to think positively... If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything... he continues to lose another game.... I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past... is what he tells himself... he loses another one ... and reaches for the glock
twitch chat
Annie Bot
Boosted Animal Jared
League of Legends
Timed out for 525 seconds for typing hahaha
twitchquotes:
I got timed out for 525 seconds for typing hahaha, In this time I realized that twitch originated from Nazi Germany and thus I grew the most manly pubic hair in my entire life and ate it to sooth my pains. Please no copy seig heil pasta
twitch chat
strifecro
British "person" (๐คข) in Godzilla vs Kong
I can't believe it, one of this year's biggest movies and they added a bri'ish "person", it's a well known fact by now that the so called "British" and the entire country of "Britain" aren't even real things. Why would the director decide to ruin the realism, the immersion his audience should feel when watching a huge monke and lizard fighting, by adding one of these imaginary "individuals". I must admit I was excited for Gozdilla vs Kong when I first saw the trailer but now... I don't know what to feel. I don't know if I have the will to watch this movie and be able to enjoy it while there's a bri'ish person on my screen.