[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripparian here with VEGAN FACTS

twitchquotes: Hi guys Kripp here with VEGAN FACTS! Did you know that milk is literally !Worse Than Hitler! and also killed many people during the Twitch Chat-ocaust in the 1940's? If you drink milk your bones will be as frail as Reynad's Rag RNG and you'll basically be Leifman's brother. Well, that's all for today's vegan facts! Bye guys! BRO FIST!!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Rooster

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February 2017

A card game that requires an intense amount of skill

twitchquotes: Nice job kripp! You won at a card game that requires an intense amount of skill. I pray that my sons will be like you and win card games with the amount of skill that you win with! If not I'll sacrifice them to RNGesus and pray that they are decent and competent enough to be as incredible as you!
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Creepy NaM smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣉⡉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣉⢭⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⣶⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⡳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠙⠻⣞⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠙⣞⠼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢼⣿⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠻⡀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣸⡿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠄⢀⣾⣿⡇⠄⢠⠄⠄⣹⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⠄⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠻⣿⠄⣠⣄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⡀⢸⣿⣦⡀⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⡛⠛⠉⠠⠐⢰⣿⢠⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣷⣄⠛⠁⢹⢗⡿⢉⠁⠄⣠⣿⣣⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣬⣧⣥⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Can I get my dick sucked by a tornado?

If you get pulled by a tornado, would the intense winds and stuff on your cock make you cum? And what would happen if that cum get thrown on something like a public park or near a school? Would you get registered if they found out it's your cum?
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing