[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Kurumx and Soju fanfic

twitchquotes: "THIS GAME IS FUCKIN GARBAGE!" Kurum yelled, voice cracking slightly in exasperation. "What's wrong Huney-Krum?" Soju called out from the kitchen. "I JUST WENT 5TH TO A FUCKIN BOT... and what the hell did you call me, bowl cut?" Kurum responded, still fuming. "Well, you told me if I called you 'My little Krummy Wummy' one more time you were gonna kick my ass..." Soju pouted, his head peeking around the kitchen door frame "Look, if you take a little break, I know where you can still be top 1..
twitch chat
February 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

SPAM THIS ANT

twitchquotes: SPAM 🐜 THIS 🐜 ANT 🐜 TO 🐜 SPAM 🐜 AN 🐜 ANT
twitch chat
May 2019

Rhyme Chant

Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Time is tickling

Time is tickling ⏰⏰ SEND πŸ’ŒπŸ“² this 🀳 to TEN (πŸ”Ÿ) FESTIVE FREAKS πŸŽ…πŸΏπŸ‘―β€β™€οΈπŸ•Ί if u get πŸ”Ÿ BACK your a 🀀😏 STUFFED STOCKING SLORE πŸ˜πŸ§¦πŸŽπŸ’πŸ˜»πŸ‘€πŸ˜³ get 5️⃣ BACK and ur a 😈🐎😈 Horny Xmas Ham πŸ™ˆπŸ·πŸ€ͺπŸͺ΅πŸ”₯πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ but if u get 0️⃣ back 😡 u got a πŸ”₯ DRY CπŸ…ΎοΈAL CUNT πŸ§†πŸŒ΅πŸ˜°πŸ˜­πŸ˜±πŸ₯²πŸ‘
December 2023

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Christmas

Text-to-Speech Playing