[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021

Anime girl 3

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
ascii art
January 2017

Weebs

I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!

twitchquotes: I'm SICK of STREAMERS referring to all us all as "Twitch Chat" as if we're some sort of hivemind. I am NOT a DRONE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
twitch chat
May 2015

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene

twitchquotes: I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene. They use the local community college to host this and TOLD ME BY EMAIL IF I CAME THERE THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW ME IN. This was out of nowhere so I immediately called the TO, who told me why. He said it was because I was frequently toxic and angry. He said that I yell at players and make them uncomfortable and scared, and that a girl quit because of me. While I DO sometimes get frustrated and vocalize it, so do many other people I am simply being discriminated against my voice is naturally deeper than most. also the truth is a girl never quit that is a complete lie, she was just butthurt that she was worst than everyone there. I'm so fucking irate. I've been a member of this community FOR YEARS and just now I'm a nuisance? I am entitled to a certain level of RESPECT for being a veteran player. I'm looking into finding a lawyer who get me unbanned. There MUST be a law that prevents people from arbitrarily banning others from certain locations without written documents proving it (the TO just SAID I was banned he did not provide any evidence.) The TO isn't rich or anything so I don't think I would have to ask a lot from him, I think he'd break under just pressure of lawsuit.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

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