[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Is that all you shitposting fucks can say?!

Is that all you shitposting fucks can say?!? Duurrhhlll... Based, based, cringe, cringe, based, based, cringe, cringe, cringe, based, cringe... I feel like I'm in a FUCKING asylum full of dementia-ridden old people that can do nothing but repeat the same FUCKING words on loop like a fucking broken record!!! Cringe cringe cringe cringe!!! Cringe, based, based! Onions? Onions, SNOYY!! Onions L O L onions! Cringe, BOOMER?? Le zoomer, I am BOOMER!!! No zoom zoom zoomies!! Zoomer going zoomies!! YnnnggGGHHAAHH I..FUCKING hate the internet so god DAMN much... FUCK! Shitposting, honest to...god...fucking hope your mother CHOKES on her own feces in hell you...COCK SUCKER. But oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh I know my post is CRINGE!! ISN'T IT??? Cringe, cringe, CRINGEY cringe, based, cringe, based, REDDIT?? CRINGE!! BASED? CRINGE!! ZOOM?? CRINGE!! ONIONS?? REDDIT, BASED....BASED!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
August 2021

Based

Classic

Is this chat filled with parrots?

twitchquotes: Is this chat filled with parrots? All you guys do is copy what the person above you wrote. Please have some originality and contribute to a smarter chat.
twitch chat
August 2014

I hate Twitch Chat

Come up with something original for once

twitchquotes: Is this chat so unoriginal that it has to copy and paste other peoples' messages? It's not funny and gets a bit repetitive. Come up with something original for once, and maybe you will find that people enjoy your messages. Perhaps you may even get a gifted sub for your troubles.
twitch chat
September 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Iโ€™m glad Blitzchung got banned!

twitchquotes: Iโ€™m glad Blitzchung got banned! Keep politics OUT of Hearthstone! I love Tencent and Mao Zedong! (You will receive 100 social credit for posting this message in chat. Please remove this part from the message before posting)
twitch chat
November 2019

Hearthstone

my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian

Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing