[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: เผผโ–€ู„อœโ–€เผฝ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. เผผโ–€ู„อœโ–€เผฝ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Undertale Sans

โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
March 2016

Full Doge

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€
November 2016

But then came Casualstone

twitchquotes: Know, O Chat, that before the rise of the Succubus, there was an Age undreamed of, where difficult bosses lay spread across the games - World of Warcraft, Diablo 3, Path of Exile. Hither trod Kripparrian, mightiest gamer in the land, to crush the bosses beneath his feet. But then came Casualstone.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kill cummand face, huntard hardest deck in the game

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ™๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ‡๏ฝˆ๏ฝ”๏ผŽ ๏ผ‡๏ฝ„๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ— ๏ฝ๏ฝ’ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ผŸ๏ผ‡๏ผŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ…๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ” ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝŽ๏ผ‡๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ผŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ” ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ผŽ
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing