[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
twitch chat
June 2017

It's not gay if it's ANIME

twitchquotes: IT'S KappaPride NOT KappaPride GAY KappaPride IF KappaPride IT'S KappaPride ANIME KappaPride
twitch chat
July 2017

KappaPride

peepoClap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀⠔⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠠⠔⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢔⠤⠀⢤⣤⡀⠠⣢⡭⠋⡙⢿⣭⡨⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠆⠀⠀⠀⣪⣴⣿⠐⢬⠀⣿⡗⣾⣿⡇⠈⠦⢸⣿⠗⢠⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠄⠀⠠⠋⠀⠈⠛⠻⠆⠀⠈⢀⡠⣬⣠⢣⣶⢸ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣶⡌⣇⣿⢰⠷⠦⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠞⡛⠁⣿⣿⣾⣱⢸ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣬⣽⣿⣿⢸⡜⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣦⡲⣾⣿⡇⣿⠀⣌⠿⣿⠏⣼ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡿⢫⡈⠻⢦⡹⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣡⠿⣫⡼⠃⠀⣿⡷⢠⣾⣿ ⣿⡇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⡀⠀⠙⠳⠦⣭⣭⣭⣵⡶⠿⠋⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣇⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⣉⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣉⣩⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Peepo

Pepe

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

Domino's Pizza and Hatsune Miku

Hello everyone. I'm Scott, President of Domino's Pizza. Have you heard of Hatsune Miku? Today I'd like to announce a new collaborative project featuring Hatsune Miku: Domino's App, featuring Hatsune Miku. Hatsune Miku exists in a software called Vocaloid. Vocaloid enables you to produce songs. A character called Hatsune Miku sings the songs you create. A great feature is you can create songs as you like. I knew our talented Domino's Pizza crew could work together and create great Vocaloid songs. Bokuro P, Eshi, Chiyo Kiyoshi, Furitsu Keshi, everyone! Amazing Vocaloid songs have been created with the fantastic imagination of the crews all over Japan. The challenge was successfully carried out and this new collaborative app was produced. D O M I N O S P I Z Z A Based on Miku's image, the Domino's App changes its appearance. A lot of music and illustrations produced by Domino's crew are here. From the menu to the order, it looks very cute, just like Miku. Once your pizza's delivered, have some fun with Miku! It comes with a social camera function and you can take various poses, pictures of Miku, very cool. And last, but not least, the live performance! Start the pizza stage live and point the camera towards the pizza box, and the pizza box will turn into a live dancing venue. A live performance of Luv4Night produced by Domino's crew! Here we go! D O M I N O S P I Z Z A Let's enjoy the rest of the performance with the app!
January 2022

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing