[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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More Copypastas

I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body? 🤔 I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒
twitch chat
April 2021

Sense of pride and accomplishment

twitchquotes: The 💰 intent 💰 is 💰 to 💰 provide 💰 players 💰 with 💰 a 💰 sense 💰 of 💰 pride 💰 and 💰 accomplishment 💰 for 💰 unlocking 💰 different 💰 heroes. 💰 As 💰 for 💰 cost, 💰 we 💰 selected 💰 initial 💰 values 💰 based 💰 upon 💰 data 💰 from 💰 the 💰 Open 💰 Beta 💰 and 💰 other 💰 adjustments 💰 made 💰 to 💰 milestone 💰 rewards 💰 before 💰 launch. 💰 Among 💰 other 💰 things, 💰 we're 💰 looking 💰 at 💰 average 💰 per-player 💰 credit 💰 earn 💰 rates 💰 on 💰 a 💰 daily 💰 basis, 💰 and 💰 we'll 💰 be 💰 making 💰 constant 💰 adjustments 💰 to 💰 ensure 💰 that 💰 players 💰 have 💰 challenges 💰 that 💰 are 💰 compelling, 💰 rewarding, 💰 and 💰 of 💰 course 💰 attainable 💰 via 💰 gameplay. We 💰 appreciate 💰 the 💰 candid 💰 feedback, 💰 and 💰 the 💰 passion 💰 the 💰 community 💰 has 💰 put 💰 forth 💰 around 💰 the 💰 current 💰 topics 💰 here 💰 on 💰 Reddit, 💰 our 💰 forums 💰 and 💰 across 💰 numerous 💰 social 💰 media 💰 outlets. Our 💰 team 💰 will 💰 continue 💰 to 💰 make 💰 changes 💰 and 💰 monitor 💰 community 💰 feedback 💰 and 💰 update 💰 everyone 💰 as 💰 soon 💰 and 💰 as 💰 often 💰 as 💰 we 💰 can. 💰
twitch chat
November 2017

We subbed because we have cash, non-subs are trash

twitchquotes: Hey you poor, underaged trash. You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am sub. Means im VIP. Means I got cash. What you got? You got sh!t. You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. We subbed because we have cash. Real life jobs, real life credit
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 4

⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣤⢸⣿⣿⣆⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣦⡀⠙⢶⣦⣄⡀⠄⡠⠞⠁⢀⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣎⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⢄⡙⠻⠿⠷⠶⠤⢐⣋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⢤⣤⣄⣠⡘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠂⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡇⢰⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⡄⠄⠈⠄⣷⢠⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢹⣿⣼⣿⣯⢁⣤⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣴⠶⣲⣵⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣟⣡⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠰⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣷⣿⣿⡏⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣞⢸⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018

Weebs

Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics

Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage? Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down Then I find a dead body Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe? Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete Who's the impostеr? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can wе trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher I'm paying attention using my 360 vision If it gets quiet, I listen Make sure there's nothing I'm missing Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? It wasn't me (or me) It definitely wasn't me No one can be trusted because someone is lying We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win Everyone is sus so let this last round begin There's an imposter among us Trying to take something from us We're still over here working While she's just ghosting above us Someone's under suspicion Sabotaging our mission Doing my task in the kitchen Until I stop, look, and listen Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us We can discuss whoever took your life But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah That's me holding this knife I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing