[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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FOR THE HORDE tank

twitchquotes: β–ˆ SMOrc β–ˆ β–ˆ ]β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ ............β–‚β–„β–…β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–…β–„β–ƒβ–‚ ...........β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ] ...........β—₯βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β—€FOR THE HORDE
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Till I realized Kripp is a dude...

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½ I was m*sturbating to this stream for 10 minutes till I realized Kripp is a dude....... ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I legit LOVE this emote

twitchquotes: TehePelo <--- I legit LOVE this emote, but because of normie people I rarely (if not at all) get to use this emote. It's depressing having something you love, being taken away from you by a despicable small group.
twitch chat
December 2017

Weebs

Your deck is insane, Trump said

twitchquotes: "Your deck is insane." Trump said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to top-deck me?" protests Kripp, as Trump blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. "Weak tempo play, Trump." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Trump places his Leper Gnome into Kripp's Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing