[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on

twitchquotes: If you need me, I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a salty balding vegan.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Simps

STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US!

STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My friends on TikTok send me memes, on Discord its fucking memes. I was in a server, right, and ALL the channels are just Among Us stuff. I showed my Champion underwear to my girlfriend, and the logo I flipped it and I said "Hey babe, when the underwear sus! HAHA! Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding DiDiDing!" I fucking looked at a trash can and I said "Thats a bit sussy!" I looked at my penis, I thought of the astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PEN-SUS!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Making poops of different shapes

twitchquotes: Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴘᴏᴏᴘ, I ᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴘɪɴɢ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ᴏʟᴅ Pʟᴀʏ Dᴏʜ ғᴜɴ sᴇᴛ. I ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴜs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs ɪɴ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ sʜᴀᴘᴇs. Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. I'ᴍ ᴀɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ, ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs sʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ sᴛᴀʀs, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ. Tʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN

twitchquotes: ᶤ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵏʳᶤᵖᵖᵃʳʳᶤᵃᶰ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Clap

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September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing