PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky?
twitchquotes:
(β Ν‘β’ ΝΚ Ν‘β’) Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky? γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ Call on me! (β Ν‘β’ ΝΚ Ν‘β’) Yes little Dong? γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ Kripp is never lucky, sir! (β Ν‘β’ ΝΚ Ν‘β’) Wrong, Kripp is lucky a reasonable amount of time. Come see me after class for your punishment . Κβ Ν‘β’ Να΄₯ Ν‘β’Κ
twitch chat
Kripp
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro
twitchquotes:
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
Classic
After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...
twitchquotes:
After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
Reynad
I hate British people
Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say βOH WHAT BLOODY WANKERSβ towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say βsee youβ and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldnβt tolerate people who put the letter βuβ into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, theyβll say βOH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUSβ like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
British People
GME to the moon
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