[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp sends Hafu a romantic letter

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Hafu... Remember when i asked you to unleash your hounds on my freezing trap but instead you gave me an explosive shot to the face with your acidic swamp ooze? While i always love a good multishot to the face... you finished so quickly it fealt like i was having sex with Nozdormu or something... i mean, i am not just some succubus for you to shiv any time you please..
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

STFU

β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€β €β£€ β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β‘žβ »β €β ›β’»β‘Ÿβ ›β €β‘žβ ‰β €β‘‡β €β’Έβ €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β ³β’¦β €β €β’Έβ‘‡β €β €β£§β£€β €β‘‡β €β’Έβ €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β£¦β‘Όβ €β €β’Έβ‘‡β €β €β‘β €β €β’§β£€β‘Όβ €β €β‘œ β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œ β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β ’β ‰β €
August 2021

There is no need to be angry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, "Truesilver Champion" is a common rarity card! This means that there are many chances during an arena draft to choose it compared to the rare, epic or legendary cards! It is not unreasonable for a Paladin deck to have 1 or more of "Truesilver Champion" so there is no need to be angry!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

TWITCH RAIN

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” β”β˜†οΎŸ. * ο½₯ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†οΎŸ. * TWITCH RAIN゚ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†. * ο½₯ ο½‘οΎŸβ˜†β” β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch
twitch chat
March 2019

My husband said I have "boy pussy."

My husband said I have "boy pussy." I am a biological woman and a female. I haven't spoken to him since. For context we were having sex, and at some point with his eyes closed he moaned "yeah that boy pussy..." and then stopped, realising he spoke out loud. I'd feel better if he mentioned another woman because we're (somewhat) open but I'm pretty sure he's bisexual and instead of speaking to me about it, fantasizes about me being a twink.
May 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing