PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
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That's an extremely unfortunate loss Kripp
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That's an extremely unfortunate loss Kripp, even though you outplayed him on every possible level he still beat you, i've never seen anyone as unlucky as you that match, nor anyone as lucky as he was that match. It shouldn't even be legal for someone as bad as him to beat someone as amazing as you are at this game
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Kripp
Classic
salty
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
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Do not fear a man that spams 1000 memes
Do not fear a man that spams 1000 memes, instead fear a man that spams a meme 1000 times legs man or a breasts man
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One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now Iām "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
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Wow! I love Verizonā¢!
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Wow! I love Verizonā¢! Iām glad that the internet is so free! Isnāt it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! Itās really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed Iām sure they wonāt abuse it! Thank you Verizonā¢! I love Verizonā¢! Donāt you love Verizonā¢?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizonā¢! Canāt you see theyāre protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Donāt you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizonā¢! Thank you Verizonā¢! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying āthis is whatās best for a free and open internetā and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
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