[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
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BREAKING NEWS

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS: After brutal anal fisting performed by Romanian gypsy Kripparian, Sandown's anus had an emotional breakdown and cried for attention on the stream of Kripparian.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

forsenSanta

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⡛⣉⣉⣉⣩⣭⢥⡶⢒⣶⠖⣒⡤⢤⣄⡈⣩ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⡿⠛⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣭⠛⠩⠁⠘⣾⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠥⢶⣤⣄⠘⢻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡿⠟⢛⡉⠉⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠘⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⠜⡛⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡇⠄⠐⠧⣀⡀⠄⠲⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠔⠁⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣦⣄⡐⠄⢘⣭⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣀⡀⣀⣀⣴⣮⣶⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣴⣶⡄⠈⡀⠘⣿⡿⣿⡯⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⢼⣿⣿⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣿⣶⣦⣤⣥⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⢀⣀⣉⣋⣏⡑⠄⠙⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣭⣬ ⠁⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣬⣭⣟⣛⣛⠋⠿⠿⠿⠛⠯⠥⠦⠝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠴⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣥⣬⣭⣽⣶⣶⣯⣥⣴⣭⣭⣭⣭ ⠄⢠⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠸⢱⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old"

twitchquotes: Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
twitch chat
November 2017

I want to smash

twitchquotes: I want to smash. No, not sex, not even in a physical way. I want to sit down and play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate while laughing and having a good time. I want to play 1v1’s. I want to play on your team against lvl. 3 CPU’s. You can be Kirby. I can play Jigglypuff. No items.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Not your naked body

Learn to spell you fucking idiot

It's 'forget' not 'forgor'. It's 'remember' not 'rember'. How many fucking times do I have to tell you this? Go to a fucking school and learn how to spell you dumbass. Seriously, these 'forgor' and 'rember' things are NOT funny and will make you look like a loser.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing