PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Happy Thanksgiving emoji
Happy π¦ Thanksgiving π¦! Guess what π―βitβs that time β° of year π to gobble π¦ gobble π¦ gobble π¦ up β¬οΈ those dicks π chicks π₯ and bicks π€¨ (big dicks) ππ«π«π«π« I bet π youβre all π€π€π€ HORNY-copia π½ π₯π₯πΆπβοΈπππ for SKANKS-giving π€ͺππ€€π€€πππ youβll be saying π¬ thanks π for giving me all π« this π« COCK π₯³π₯³π₯³π₯³ send this to π of your thiccest sluts with those hot π₯΅ hot π₯ tasty π€€π peach pies π₯§ π ππ if you know 
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Thanksgiving
Kripp commits sudoku over spilled OJ
twitchquotes:
The Kripp goes to grocery store. He sees the OJ and yells : Well met ! An old lady next to him get so startled she drops her OJ. Kripp commits sudoku, overcome by grief. RIP in piece Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
Scary face
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββ(β)ββββ(β)βββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
My dad works at twitch dude
twitchquotes:
My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son
twitchquotes:
Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
DisguisedToast