[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Putin v3

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⡀⢀⠄⡀⡀⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠠⢀⠄⡅⢔⠰⡨⢢⢡⢑⠔⠅⠕⠄⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠅⢔⠨⢐⠅⡌⢆⢣⠪⡪⡘⡌⡮⡱⡡⣊⢌⢀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⡐⢄⠕⡡⡘⢔⢱⢨⢪⢪⢪⢪⡺⣪⢞⢮⢫⢮⢺⢔⢆⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠐⠈⠄⡠⡊⢌⠢⡑⡌⡆⡇⡇⡇⡇⣇⢗⣝⢮⡺⣪⡳⣹⡪⣞⢵⢝⡵⡝⣕⠡⢀⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢊⢂⠁⡔⡌⡢⢑⠌⡢⡱⡸⡸⡸⡪⡺⡸⣕⢵⡳⣝⢮⡺⣪⢞⣵⣫⡳⣕⢯⡺⡬⠄⠕⡕⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⡇⡂⢢⢣⢣⠨⡂⡊⢔⢕⢱⡱⡝⣜⢝⡺⣜⡵⣝⢮⡳⡽⣵⣻⡺⣼⡺⡵⣳⢝⡮⡃⡕⡺⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⡱⡱⡨⢪⢪⢢⠡⢂⢊⠢⡱⡱⡱⡝⡮⡳⣝⢞⢮⢗⡯⣯⢯⣗⡯⣟⣮⢯⣟⢮⡳⣝⢇⢇⢎⢵⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣕⢵⢣⢣⢑⢅⢆⢃⠢⠡⡡⡱⡱⡹⡪⡯⣺⢕⡯⣫⢯⢾⢽⢽⣺⢯⣗⡯⣗⣗⢗⣝⢮⡫⣏⢮⢒⢅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠮⡪⢪⠪⠢⡃⡪⡂⠅⢕⠰⢱⢸⢸⡱⣝⢮⡳⡽⣪⢏⡯⡯⣟⡾⣽⣺⢽⣳⡳⣝⢮⡳⣫⣳⢳⡱⡱⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⡃⡫⢔⢨⢕⢕⢔⢌⢌⠢⡑⡱⡘⢜⢜⢮⡳⣝⣞⢵⣫⢿⢽⣺⡽⡾⣾⢽⣳⢯⢮⡳⣝⣕⢗⢵⡑⡕⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⠢⡱⡐⢕⢵⣑⡑⢕⢐⠕⠸⠰⡑⠕⢕⢕⠽⡕⣏⢗⢽⢝⢽⠺⠽⠽⢽⢻⢽⢽⢵⢽⡸⣪⢳⢱⢱⡱⡽⡡⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠨⠈⢆⢊⢎⢖⢂⠃⠡⠐⠈⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⢹⢘⣜⢕⠑⡈⠄⡈⣈⣐⠨⠘⡜⢕⡳⣝⢮⡳⡱⡱⡵⡯⡪⠂⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠅⢂⠑⡕⡕⠄⡢⢀⠄⠠⠄⠁⠁⡌⠠⢠⠄⠸⣸⣺⡪⣐⠅⢢⢈⠄⢬⢍⣆⢧⣳⡽⡮⣺⡪⡺⣘⢼⣝⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠨⡢⡢⡣⡳⢑⢰⢐⠠⡊⡪⣢⡣⡪⡰⠑⡀⠨⣪⢷⣝⡮⡫⡪⣪⢾⢝⣯⢾⣝⣗⡯⣟⢮⡪⡯⡷⣗⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢕⠄⡇⡣⡑⠔⢅⠇⡇⡏⡖⡕⡕⣌⢂⠂⠌⢮⢷⡳⡯⡯⡾⡵⣫⢯⢞⣗⡷⡯⣯⡳⣱⢱⢝⡽⣺⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠡⡡⢱⢐⠨⠨⠐⡡⢃⢇⢇⡏⡞⡔⡐⠠⢑⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⣝⢗⡯⣟⢾⢽⢝⡞⣜⢜⢜⣽⣺⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠃⠂⡐⠄⠅⡐⡈⡢⡃⢇⠕⡢⠄⠨⢘⢮⢯⢯⣳⡫⡗⣗⢽⢝⡮⡯⡮⡣⡏⣎⢎⠞⠺⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⡁⢂⠐⡈⡢⢑⠅⡕⡐⠈⠨⡨⢯⣻⢽⣺⢺⡺⡪⣏⢷⢽⢕⣯⡫⣞⢜⢜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⠂⡂⠌⠄⢕⢐⠌⢄⠄⠨⠨⢘⢥⢅⡵⣝⣝⢮⡳⡽⣝⡮⣺⢪⢎⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢀⠡⠄⠌⠌⢂⢂⠪⠐⡌⢰⢰⢘⢼⢝⣞⢞⣞⡵⡯⣞⢵⣫⢮⡳⡣⡳⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠐⠄⠊⠄⠨⠐⠠⠈⠌⠘⠜⠵⡢⢳⢹⢜⢕⠕⠱⡹⡪⡳⣕⣳⢹⡸⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢄⠡⠁⠠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠐⠔⠔⠔⡢⠦⣒⢎⣎⢦⢢⢩⡫⣎⢮⢣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣇⠄⠐⠠⠄⠁⠄⠡⢀⢂⢅⢔⢄⣆⣆⢕⢵⡹⣪⡳⣕⢵⢱⢕⢇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡿⣵⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠨⠨⡂⢇⢎⢕⢎⢞⡽⡵⣝⢮⢺⢸⠸⡘⣜⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣺⣳⣧⣄⡀⠄⠄⡀⠂⠌⡂⠕⢌⠊⢎⠪⠪⠪⡊⡆⣕⣕⢧⣓⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢪⢞⣾⡽⣷⣮⡄⠐⠄⡂⠌⢌⠢⢑⢐⢄⢅⢇⢇⣗⣕⢗⡵⣽⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡾⣽⣯⣷⣿⡿⣮⣰⢱⡱⣜⢔⡑⡜⣜⢮⣣⡳⣪⢷⣽⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡷⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣮⣗⣽⢵⢕⣕⢮⡺⢝⣵⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠈⠽⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡵⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠈⠄⠄⢸⣹⡪⣿⣿⣿⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣯⣿⣢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⢸⣿⣿⣮⢞⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2022

Goodbye vegetable man. Goodbye.

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, i am the manager of the supermarket where you buy packages of vegetables everyday. After you leave every morning we are left with no vegetables. People are started to complain about you and asked me to ban you from coming to this supermarket. They threatened me if i don't ban you they won't come here anymore. I am so sorry that i have to do this. Goodbye vegetable man. Goodbye.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom

twitchquotes: Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of seizing the means of production from the dirty bourgeoisie. People say to me that a person being a historical communist revolution is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon instal hammers, sickles, and other assorted proletariat farming tools on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Comrade" and respect my right to seize the means of production and free the working class. If you can't accept me you're an oppressor and need to check your capitalist privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
June 2017

I sexually Identify as

.future gens will sit down and listen to...

twitchquotes: people sit with their children, tell them memories about mario, zelda, half life , dark souls, god of war , silent hill, resident evil , metroid.....future gens will sit down and listen to tales of T-Posing, fortnite dances and frying pans in battle royal games....and teach their kids the carlton and listen to the back pack kid and his flossing song.....may god have mercy on us all...
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing