[Copypasta] Fuck you all, I’m never listening to this sub again.

Yesterday I said we’d see a rally like we’ve never seen before I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts. My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully I’ll make something. Somehow oil also tanked. Fuck you all. I’m only listening to myself now. You’re all retarded and so am I for listening to you. Edit: not sure why some of you degens think I’m blaming you. Of course it’s my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards See you tomorrow
March 2022

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/t9mm8e/fuck_you_all_im_never_listening_to_this_sub_again/
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Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Which one of you got reddit to send me this

Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit "Hi there, A concerned redditor reached out to us about you. When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

HODL

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
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February 2021

WallStreetBets

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. “Are you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. “Soon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

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