[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” ☑ “My deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” ☑ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" ☑ “He extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” ☑ "His cards defied logic" ☑ “There was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” ☑ “I played impeccably”
twitch chat
October 2014

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Chibi Vayne

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠭⣭⠻⠟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠁⠨⢰⠤⡐⡘⡙⠻⠟⠛⠻⡿⣷⣜⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣨⣤⣥⣦⣦⣤⡂⠱⡞⢸⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⡇⠂⠄⡀⠄⣕⣵⢿⣿⢿⣿⣟⣿⣝⡆⠁⠨⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⢁⠄⠤⠁⠉⢫⠮⡻⡿⠿⡓⠑⠩⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢉⣶⣿⣿⢁⡢⠑⢅⠄⠐⠈⠄⣬⣾⣳⣄⢂⠠⡠⢹⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⣄⣦⣾⡿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠌⠢⡫⡪⡾⣽⢿⣺⣯⣻⣯⢯⣫⣿⣿⢞⢾⢜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣮⣿⣖⢀⠄⠈⠎⠝⠹⡹⡳⡋⡓⠽⣑⢺⣻⡏⣽⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠁⣿⡷⠆⡐⠐⡐⡀⣲⢳⠨⡚⢞⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡥⣼⢝⡠⣥⣦⣔⢆⡩⡼⣤⢵⣮⢸⡪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡈⡁⠠⣿⣿⣿⣐⠈⠊⡊⠂⠯⠻⠁⠁⢼⣿⢰⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠌⠄⠠⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡆⡎⡔⡐⠄⠁⢈⠅⢢⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⡪⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⠂⠄⡂⠨⡈⠏⡇⢀⠄⠘⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣾⣻⣬⣮⠏⠈⠌⡂⢁⠄⠣⡣⡂⠠⠐⠄⢌⠉⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠁⠪⡢⠐⠄⡁⠠⠑⠷⣶⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⠂⡐⢰⡊⠠⢀⠡⠐⡭⡌⠄⠐⡀⠅⢐⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠠⠁⡐⡈⢴⣀⠁⠐⡈⢀⠡⠄⣳⣤⣂⣡⠈⢛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠄⠄⡀⣿⣿⣮⡄⠨⠄⠠⠁⠄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢰⣤⣟⣻⣿⡀⢁⢡⣬⣐⣀⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣤⣦⣟⣻⡟⣿⣟⣧⣔⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

Iron Man

░░░░░░░██████████████████░░░░░░░ ░░░░████▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓███░░░░░ ░░░██▓▓█▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█▓▓█░░░░ ░░██████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██████████░░ ░░██──────███████████───────██░░ ░███───────██▓▓▓▓▓▓█────────███░ ░████───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────████░ ░█▓██───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────██▓█░ ░██▓█───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────█▓██░ ████▓█──────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█──────█▓████ █▓██▓█──────▀██████▀──────█▓██▓█ █▓██▓█────────────────────█▓██▓█ █▓████────────────────────████▓█ █▓██▀──────────────────────▀██▓█ █▓██──█▀▀▀▀▄▄──────▄▄▀▀▀▀█──██▓█ ███───█─────▀██▄▄██▀─────█───███ ░██───▀█▄▄▄▄█▀────▀█▄▄▄▄█▀───██░ ░███────────────────────────███░ ░░█▓█──────────────────────█▓█░░ ░░█▓▓█────────────────────█▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓█──────────────────█▓▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓█──────────────────█▓▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓▓█▄──────────────▄█▓▓▓▓█░░ ░░░█▓▓█▀█──▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄──█▀█▓▓█░░░ ░░░░█▓█─▀▄▄▀────────▀▄▄▀─█▓█░░░░ ░░░░░█▓█─────▄▄▄▄▄▄─────█▓█░░░░░ ░░░░░░█▓█▄▄▄██▓▓▓▓██▄▄▄█▓█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░█▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░████████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
September 2021

SKROINK!

twitchquotes: [ ᕤ ಠ (oo) ಠ ]ᕤ ︵┻━┻ SKROINK! [ ᕤ ಠ (oo) ಠ ]ᕤ ︵┻━┻
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Second breakfast

twitchquotes: "Rania, where's my breakfast?" asks the Kripp. "You already had it!" she replies. "Yes, I've had one, but what about second breakfast?" asks the Kripp. As Rania walks away, Kripp is startled. "I don't think she knows about second breakfast," Kripp panics, "What about brunch, elvensies, afternoon falafel?"
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing