[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

Stop making fun of NA

twitchquotes: Stop making fun of NA, we are the second best wildcard this year and it took these players work and dedication to stand next to real teams from real regions. This is a step closer for NA to be recognized as the best wildcard region.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Dragon

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣲⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠖⠋⢀⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠊⠀⠀⡠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠚⠁⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠤⠖⠈⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠓⠲⢤⣸⠒⣊⣭⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢿⡶⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠎⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⢀⡠⠔⢊⡥⢺⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠁⣠⠞⠁⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⡠⠊⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡊⠁⠁⠀⢊⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣉⣓⣦⡤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡤⠊⠁⠸⠀⠀⠀⡠⡖⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⡩⠭⠒⢋⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠛⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠤⣀⡀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⡰⠚⢧⠉⠒⠒⠮⠽⣾⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠁⡠⣖⠂⠀⠀⠀⡠⠋⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠁⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠙⢌⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠐⠁⣀⡠⠔⠋⣀⣀⡴⠚⠓⡶⣞⣉⣀⣀⡠⢤⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣃⡀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣠⡊⠁⡀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⠑⢄⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣽⢻⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠑⠦⠤⠤⠤⠄⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⣆⠀⠀⠘⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⢏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⠦⠤⠤⠄⢲⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⣀⣹
July 2022

Mario

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November 2014

What the hell are both of these teams doing?

twitchquotes: What the hell are both of these teams doing? I'm in bronze and I could compete better than all of the players in this tournament. I can't believe I'm being held back by my teammates this bad. Any orgs feel free to DM me.
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing