[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S 🍆🍌🌽 DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES 👬👬 of our nation 🇺🇸🇺🇸 George SLUTsington 👯👯, Benjamin SPANKlin👋🍑, John HanCOCK 🍆🌽💦💦💦 These POUNDING 🔨⚒ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their 😻📃CUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY 🗽👅🙀 Raise that ASS 🍑 to 💦💦 Abraham LinCUM 💦💦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson 😏🌲😉, Bill CLIT-on 👌👈, and the CUMmander in chief, 👦🍆👀BarCOCK Obama 👦🍆👀 Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE 👀😩 DICKlared war 🔫💣 on those CUMMIES 💦💂💂 Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding 🔨that presidential PUSSY 🙀🙀 Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get 🔟 back and ur the SUCKretary of state 📔😙🇺🇸 Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan 😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS 🍑🍑🍑
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mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole

twitchquotes: lmao mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole with a huge ego maybe the cool streamers like mitch jones would come over and learn mario 64 speed running tricks with you. lmao but ur just depressed its actually sad ur sad, i would know i'm a hate watcher that used to make $600k a month... anyway my dad's coming downstairs gotta go
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twitchquotes: It doesn't really matter how much money you make, or how much money you have 😄 That's really the thing because I'm not asking you large financial contribution! 20$ is quite alot of money. A sub is 5 dollars! It doesn't matter how broke you are 😄 If you have time to watch Twitch, you have 10$, if you don't, you should be working and earning money. Or you're saying you're so irresponsable with your money you won't support the entertainment you enjoy?! 😆
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Dubstep

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twitchquotes: Here we can observe the Twitch Memer in his natural habitat, stuck as usual in this intricate limbo of carefully crafted memes, emote spam and endless copypastas that no one even bothers to read anymore. The Memer actually used to be a very functional human being way back then. Will he ever claim that state back and finally manage to reproduce?
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Text-to-Speech Playing