[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

Reynad you are the biggest influence in my life

twitchquotes: Reynad you are the biggest influence in my life. Sadly I seem to have turned into a salt shaker, please no copy pasterino macarino
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

salty

The mods are doing a good job

twitchquotes: The mods are doing a good job of stopping the copying and pasting trolls. It's a shame that people ruin an entire chat with their immature behavior. Go mods, keep up the good work!
twitch chat
March 2018

MODS

Morpheus

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February 2021

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

I'll be back when there is real spam

twitchquotes: You call this spam? I've seen better spam in Hafus chat. This is pathetic. I came to this stream expecting to see some real spam. I am dissapointed in the sad excuse for a chat. I'll be back when there is real spam.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing