[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
twitch chat
June 2017

Yuno Gasai

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September 2018

Weebs

Is there an anime character stronger than Imaqtpie?

twitchquotes: @Imaqtpie, Is there an anime character stronger than Imaqtpie? And I’m referring to TWITCH TV Imaqtpie with the Eternal and many PJSALT (with the REDDIT MEME ability) equipped with his 4-20 Heimerdonger and control over Jhin and Lucian, a completely monochrome screen, with Faker's DNA implanted in his chest so he can masterfully type /ff, demoted to D3 as well as being extremely skilled in League of legend
twitch chat
August 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Taco did we come back?

twitchquotes: Taco: "Actually, I remember one time we were playing against Virtus Pro, Nuke, and it was 15-5 to VP. We were playing as T. VP are CT. And Fallen said, guys if you think we are good, let's prove it now." Teammate: "Did you come back?" Taco: "Of course not. 16-5."
twitch chat
November 2019

CSGO

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. The procedure is popularly known as "Running it down mid". Let me know
twitch chat
January 2020
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing