[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument

Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily. Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up. I've never been so proud. UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.
December 2021

2021 fireworks

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣦⠤⠀⠀⠉⢏⠀⠠⣤⣦⠄⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⠹⠛⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠀⠀⠉⠈⠐⢄⠀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠉⡏⠀⠰⠁⠀⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠠⢤⣦⡤⠀⠀ ⠘⠛⠋⠒⠂⠤⢀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠣⢤⣦⡤⠀⠁⠀⡀⠤⠒⠉⠈⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣶⡄⠀⣀⣀⠀⠙⠛⢋⡀⠀⠀⡸⠉⠁⠀⠀⣁⡀⠠⠤⠄⠾⠷⠂⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠁⢤⣶⡄⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣀ ⠘⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠄⠂⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⠀⠀⠂⠠⠄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⠉⠁⠀⢀⣄⠞⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠑⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣾⡖⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠃⠀⠠⣴⣦⠄⠀⠈⠝⠛⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣶⣿⠟⢻⣿⡄⠀⢠⣾⡿⠛⠿⣷⡄⠀⢰⣾⡿⠛⣿⣧⠀⠀⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢀⣠⣼⣿⠃⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠁⣀⣴⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣿⡟⠀⢀⣾⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⠿⠀⠘⢿⣷⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠇⠀⣶⣿
January 2021

xqcSad

⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⢁⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⠿⢿⡟⠃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣌⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢉⠉⣉⠙⠛⠛⠛⣁⡄⠀⠙⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣝⣧⣴⣶⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021
xQcOW

Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK

twitchquotes: ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky
Text-to-Speech Playing