[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro asks a girl out to prom

Ok, so l-let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, that, perhaps, I, Ben, was to ask you, Stacy, to the prom, right now. Now let me ask you, in that situation, would it not be in your best interest to say yes? I mean the answer is obvious, right? Now let's suppose, that in fact, I was doing so right now, in this room. Now, hypothetically, what would your response be?
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Uganda Knuckles

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣋⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣠⣴⣭⣹⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⠛⠁⠘⠿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠛⠛⠁⣿⣿⡯⣫⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣭⣛⡸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣷⠬⣉⣀⣈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⣛⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠈⠉⣽⣶⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢛⡛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢻⣿ ⣀⢰⣿⣦⡝⠛⢷⣮⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣣⣾⣿ ⣿⢸⣿⡿⠀⣿⣶⣝⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⣵⣶⠇⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⢸⣿⠀⡇⢹⣿⣿⡶⠎⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣸⣿⣿⠇⣸ ⣿⡇⠛⢠⣿⡀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⣿⡿⠃⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⡇⢸⣦⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠼⢋⣴⡇⠸⢋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⡃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⢀⣠⣾
November 2018

later dweebs

twitchquotes: wow! almost 16k people sitting inside watching some dude play video games on Memorial Day LMAO. bout to hit the pool with some dime I matched on tinder and her friends to play beerpong. she wants me so bad its not even funny haha. not gonna smash til i get something to eat tho cause sex kills gains. have fun watching the stream i guess lol. later dweebs
twitch chat
May 2018

When spam, my text automatically go to the smallest size

twitchquotes: ʷʰᵉᶰ ˢᵖᵃᵐ, ᵐʸ ᵗᵉˣᵗ ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵐᵃᵗᶦᶜᵃᶫᶫʸ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫᵉˢᵗ ˢᶦᶻᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᶦᶻᵉ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᵖᵉʳ ᵖᶦˣᵉᶫ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᶰᶜʳᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦᶠᶠᶦᶜᵘᶫᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᶜᵃᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ ᶠʳᵘˢᵗʳᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᶦᵉʷᵉʳ⋅ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᵘᵐ ᵉᶠᶠᶦᶜᶦᵉᶰᶜʸ
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

Pornhub

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⠀⢠⣤⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠿⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⣤⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠿⠿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠤⠤⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣄⡀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⢉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢉⣩⣭⣭⣭⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡟⠋⠉⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣾⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣾⣏⠀⠀⣹⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020
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