[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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The Emoji Movie summary

The Emoji Movie unlocks the never-before-seen secret world inside your smartphone. Hidden within the messaging app is Textopolis, a bustling city where all your favorite emojis live, hoping to be selected by the phone's user. In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression - except for Gene, an exuberant emoji who was born without a filter and is bursting with multiple expressions. Determined to become "normal" like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his handy best friend Hi-5 and the notorious code breaker emoji Jailbreak. Together, they embark on an epic "app-venture" through the apps on the phone, each its own wild and fun world, to find the Code that will fix Gene. But when a greater danger threatens the phone, the fate of all emojis depends on these three unlikely friends who must save their world before it's deleted forever.
August 2021

Hi I 15 year old somalian rhinoceros

twitchquotes: BibleThump hi I 15 year old somalian rhinoceros i need surgery for gud horn pls send money to my owner nigerian prince pls no pasterino my story BibleThump
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Big eyes WeirdChamp

⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⣴⣾⣿⡟⠋⢁⣩⣭⣭⣭⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡇⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣯⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡍⢣⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡟⣁⡀⠄⢹⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣿⡠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠈⠙⣿⣼⠄ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣷⡀⠄⢈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠛⣿⣿⣿⡄⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣍⣫⣭⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣻⣿⣿⣦⡉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⣎⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣾ ⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⣁⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⡀⠄⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣆⠉⢿⣿⡟⢃⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⠄⠠⣿⡄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠉⠍⠉⠻⠿⠯⠽⠛⠿⠈⠋⢠⣾⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣔⣲⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠒⣠⣤⣤⣤⣿⡯⡓⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡉⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣀⡀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019

I sexually Identify as your mom

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as your mom. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of cooking for your father and you and fuck your father and make you more sisters. People say to me that a person being your mom is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. im gonna marry your father. From now on I want you guys to call me " Mommy" and respect my right to cook food and fuck your father. If you can't accept me you're a mommyphobic and need to check if your mom is still alive. Thank you for being so understanding
twitch chat
September 2019

I sexually Identify as

Doesn't mean I'm a virgin

twitchquotes: 😡 Just because I watch Kripp 😡 doesn't mean I'm a virgin 😡 It's just a coincidence 😡
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp
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