[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022

PogChamp

░░░░░▒░░▄██▄░▒░░░░░░ ░░░▄██████████▄▒▒░░░ ░▒▄████████████▓▓▒░░ ▓███▓▓█████▀▀████▒░░ ▄███████▀▀▒░░░░▀█▒░░ ████████▄░░░░░░░▀▄░░ ▀██████▀░░▄▀▀▄░░▄█▒░ ░█████▀░░░░▄▄░░▒▄▀░░ ░█▒▒██░░░░▀▄█░░▒▄█░░ ░█░▓▒█▄░░░░░░░░░▒▓░░ ░▀▄░░▀▀░▒░░░░░▄▄░▒░░ ░░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░▒░░░ ░░░▓▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▄██▀░░░░ ░░░░▓▒▒▒░▒▒░▓▀▀▒░░░░ ░░░░░▓▓▒▒░▒░░▓▓░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░
November 2014

The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed

twitchquotes: I looked at this pasta originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a pasta, and you spam this pasta. The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed, so you’re spamming a pasta. So it is one thing to spam a pasta if your chat doesn’t really have any pasta. The pasta will screw up the pasta pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good pasta.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder

twitchquotes: ╠═ OSFrog ═╣ This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder. To make him feel better, enslave his frog brothers too by spamming this.
twitch chat
April 2015

Harambe Fresh Prince of Bel Air

twitchquotes: In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where i spent most of my days, Chillin out hanging out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool, When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gun shot just before I stopped breathing air...
twitch chat
October 2016

Harambe

Text-to-Speech Playing