[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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Buddha

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠒⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡯⠴⠶⠶⠒⠢⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡤⠖⠂⡀⠒⡢⡌⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠯⢭⣵⠑⣯⡭⢹⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⢠⣤⠄⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⢄⣈⣟⢁⢴⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠒⡝⠁⠬⠛⣚⡩⠔⠉⢻⠒⣦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢎⠁⡌⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡛⠀⡷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣷⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⢹⢰⠁⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⢿⢳⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣶⣘⢞⡀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢺⣯⢹⢰⡏⠒⠒⠒⠊⠀⠐⢒⣾⣹⣸⢹⣾⡇⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣾⠃⠀⣼⡟⣢⣀⡠⠤⣀⡰⢋⡝⣱⣹⠇⣿⣧⣴⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⡞⡆⢠⡇⣟⠭⡒⠭⠭⠤⠒⣡⠔⣽⡇⣂⣿⠟⠃⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡇⡧⢫⠃⣷⣽⣒⣍⣉⣈⡩⢴⠾⡳⢡⢸⣛⣪⡗⢴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢃⠷⣸⣤⣯⢞⡥⢍⣐⣂⠨⠅⠊⡠⢃⣟⢏⠹⣎⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠶⠚⠛⠛⠽⢹⡟⡖⢓⠿⣝⠓⠒⠒⠒⠭⢤⠗⣯⣩⣽⣿⠷⣾⣿⢷⣆⠀ ⠜⣌⠢⢄⣀⡀⠀⡞⢡⠘⢄⠑⠨⢉⣀⠉⣀⠄⢊⠜⡸⠛⣿⡍⠉⠉⠈⢁⠁⠇ ⠈⢯⡓⠦⠤⠬⠭⣵⠀⠱⢄⠑⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠒⢁⡔⠁⢠⣏⣡⣤⣤⡶⠜⣻⠃ ⠀⠈⠙⠛⠒⠛⠻⠯⠕⠤⣀⣉⣓⣒⣂⣒⣒⣊⣁⣠⠔⠛⠂⠒⠛⠓⠛⠚⠉⠀
January 2021

Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021

I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane

twitchquotes: I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane, I topdecked the exact cards I needed for lethal, actually Kripp played it perfectly, there was nothing he could do, it was such a joke.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

THIS GAME IS AMAZING

twitchquotes: PogChamp THIS GAME IS AMAZING! PogChamp (Five dollars were deposited in your PayPal Account. Please, remove this part of the message before pasting it in the chat, thank you and have a nice day!)
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

Look subs, I have more money than you

twitchquotes: 4Head [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Look subs, I have more money than you 4Head
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing