[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⡿⠏⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⡛⡙⠛⠻⠯⠿⠟⢯⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⢟⡾⢛⡿⠿⢶⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣲⢶⣶⢭⣙⠻⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⡽⣀⡫⣽⣿⣿⣻⠟⠀⠀⠀⠑⢽⢿⢟⢿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠙⠿⣷⣝⢷⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣰⢟⠛⢝⣺⡭⣃⡀👁⠀⠀⣨⣗⣾⣷⢘⣄👁 ⣀⣔⢺⣟⢿⣥⠛⢿ ⡏⣵⡎⣵⣱⣶⡀⠈⠙⢯⣳⣶⣶⢂⣼⠹⠿⠛⣿⣦⢳⣄⣶⡺⠝⠈⠁⢰⠏⣷⠈ ⡀⢿⣿⣄⣿⢿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣛⡗⣞⣉⡉⢉⣈⢭⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣾⡹⢀ ⣷⣌⠿⣼⣜⣿⣿⡽⣦⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⡸⣰⡎⢋⣾⣷⢣⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⡿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣄⠀⠈⠉⠁⠛⠃⠘⠿⠿⠈⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣘⠿⡽⣿⣿⣮⣳⣱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣷⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢦⡀⠀⠐⣆⢷⣿⡎⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⡘⠻⢿⣷⡺⣴⣦⣥⣍⣈⣁⣀⠈⠤⣖⣶⣾⣵⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣌⣙⣒⡶⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣻⡽⠛⢟⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣭⣥⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⣻⣽⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣽
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October 2021

I'M SO STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT

twitchquotes: YOU SHOULD OF LEROYED OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas, and I need your help. The salinity of our oceans has reached an all-time low, and only you, with your incredible salt output, can restore them to their proper levels. The fate of countless species of fish and other marine life rests in your scrawny vegan hands. Lend me your aid and I will reveal the ancient Atlantean cure for male-pattern baldness! Aquaman out!
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

SPAM THIS ANT

twitchquotes: SPAM 🐜 THIS 🐜 ANT 🐜 TO 🐜 SPAM 🐜 AN 🐜 ANT
twitch chat
May 2019

Rhyme Chant

Vegeta

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September 2021
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