[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

LS, aka "Lucian Senna"

LS, aka "Lucian Senna", is the most boring top lane match up that is often ridiculed for it's low interactivity, freezing and questionable skill expression. It is especially notorious for endless lane pushing and cheater recall abusing. It is often played by a low platinum solo-queue 130 BPM LCS costreamer.
March 2021
imls

Losing to NA in viewership

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in viewership FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in content creation FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in personality FeelsBadMan NA lul i guess....
twitch chat
August 2018

EU vs NA

If SINATRAA and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: if SINATRAA👽and my girl👧😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one😤😬Catch me at the enemy spawn door🚪🔴 with my boy on tracer 🌈🕰
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Chat stop spamming XD

twitchquotes: Hey chat, right now im very sleepy and unable to read chat. I got my dog reading chat out loud for me so i can enjoy chat with you guys. He keeps yelling "XD" to me so i suspect chat is spamming XD. Plz stop as youre confusing my dog and hes getting upset. Thank you much appreciate.
twitch chat
May 2019

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing