[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Olombo Bongo from Somalia

twitchquotes: hi kripp i em olombo bongo frm Somalia. erryday i watch u strem u are favourit stremmer i sell kidney for a laptop 2 i can watch u strem. i work in bannana facotry an 1 day i cum to america LAND OF FREEDDOM so i be lyke u and strem 4 monies insted of pick banana, WOO USAsss al pacino, malcolm in middle, stevo-o, mike 'the situation' sorrentino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Puppy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣖⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠛⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠉⠛⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣄⠀⣀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡘⠻⣥⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡉⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⠇⠀⣸⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⡿⢿⡋⠉⢧⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠴⠛⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⡟⠀⠀⠙⠦⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠦⠤⣤⠤⠖⠋⠙⠦⢤⠼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⡄⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛⠉⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣇⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠃⢀⡴⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢀⡴⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⣾⡴⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠻⠤⠴⠶⠿⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣀⣀⣀⣤⡤⢤⡀⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣇⠀⠙⠶⠶⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⡼⠁⠈⢳⣄⣀⣀⣽⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⢀⡤⢞⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠞⢁⣀⡴⠞⠉⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠾⠗⠺⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⡆⠀⠸⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣀⣠⣤⠤⠖⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2024

Kripparrian is NEVER lucky?

twitchquotes: (•⌣•) Daddy, is it true as the legend says. That Kripparrian is NEVER lucky? ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° ) Yes little dong. The legend holds true even to this day.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

neverlucky

Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you

twitchquotes: Kripp if you're here right now reading this I want you to know I dream of you. Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you. I'll say things like "hey guys how's it goin' Kripparrian here", and for a brief moment I feel you inside me...
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

WHO let the dogs out

twitchquotes: BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Text-to-Speech Playing