[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

forZeDong

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September 2021
Forsen

Emote

Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading

Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

T U C K F R U M P brofist edition

twitchquotes: ╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey F R U M P, here's a " T U C K " for you. ╭∩╮( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

HandsUp

⣿⣻⢹⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⡏⡿ ⡏⠋⠘⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣸⣝⣯⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠃⢳ ⡇⠀⠀⢘⣱⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠾⣻⣿⠏⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡛⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠊⠉⢡⣠⣶⣶⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠀⣾ ⣿⠁⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⢁⡾⠿⢿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠟⢻⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⠶⢿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡂⠈⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
September 2020
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