[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Silence Liberal

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February 2021

My pasta is really just not salty enough

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I just finished writing my most recent copypasta, but it needs something else and I was wondering if you can help. My pasta is really just not salty enough and needs some PJSalt. Pls help me finish my masterpiece.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Teddy Roosevelt messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, This is Teddy Roosevelt calling! I am concerned that you have formed a monopoly on the hearthstone section of twitch dot telly. You must renounce this darkness immediately or I will SMITE YOU like I did Andre Carnegie and Nelson Rockemsockem. You must give up your monopolistic ways or face the mighty wrath of the White House and the US Judicial system. Much love to Rania and the baby. Regards, yo boi TD
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Moderators you have no right to ban me

twitchquotes: Dear moderators. You have no right to ban me or remove my messages. Do you even know who my father is? He is a very powerful and rich man. I strongly advise you not to mess with me or consequences will be met in court. I hope you understand all the seriousness of the situation. Have a good day.
twitch chat
September 2019

MODS

fire fox is sus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣠⠴⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣎⠁⡀⠀⣀⡀⣩⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣏⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢔⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣬⣿⣿⣷⣿⠿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣶⢾⣤⢤⠀⢀⡈⠛⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣷⣿⣿⣧⡤⠄⠀⠀⢀⣳⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣟⣃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⡾⣟⣋⣲⠁⠘⣿⣿⣴⡆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣟⣀⣎⣁⣠⣼⣶⣿⠃⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡁⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣽⣻⣿⣟⠶⢶⣒⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⢟⣛⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣾⡫⠿⣯⣿⠿⣿⡿⡿⣊⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣝⡿⣿⣿⡿⡟⢈⢰⡽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣏⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣾⣷⣯⣿⣴⣶⡞⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣦⡤⠶⠛⡳⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡗⠀⢸⠓⠢⠘⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣇⣤⣄⣿⣷⣤⣨⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣏⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣟⣶⡿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡄⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⡀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠛⠋⠙⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠟⣫⣽⣿⡿⠷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡟⠉⣀⣀⣉⣻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠁⢀⣾⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣿⠀⢸⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣼⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣩⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣦⣶⣠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣶⣾⡿⠁⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢟⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠤⠄⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿⣿⡽⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing