[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

♿ IMAQTPIE COMING THROUGH ♿

twitchquotes: ♿ IMAQTPIE COMING THROUGH ♿
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie

A young Ben Shapiro insults his classmate

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

DIO walking

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡛⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠨⡀⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢁⠼⠊⣱⡃⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⡧⠁⡴⣦⣔⣶⣄⢠⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠭⠏⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡧⠠⠠⢠⣾⣾⣟⠝⠉⠉⠻⡒⡂⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡪⠘⠄⠉⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠁⢐⣷⠉⠿⠐⠑⠠⠠⠄⣈⣿⣄⣱⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠷⠈⠉⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣴⠤⣬⣭⣴⠂⠇⡔⠚⠍⠄⠄⠁⠘⢿⣷⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠂⣠⠄⠸⡜⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⡙⣿⣷⣭⣷⠃⣠⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣁⣿⡄⠼⡿⣦⣬⣰⣿ ⣿⣷⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠲⠄⢠⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⡨⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠐⠄⠈⣙⣩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠕⠁⠈⢠⢃⢸⣿⣿⣶⡘⠑⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⡉⢿⣧⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣨⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠆⠄⠠⡀⡀⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡅⠄⠄⢀⡰⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing