[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

Fail Whale

▄██████████████▄▐█▄▄▄▄█▌ ██████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌███▌▀▀██▀▀ ████▄█▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀███▄▄█▌ ▄▄▄▄▄██████████████
December 2017

Why are Chess Players so Racist?

Every time I here a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like “I’m so glad that I am white this game” or “He was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of shit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person!!!!!!
August 2021

Chess

Fortnite default dance 7

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⣤⣤ ⠀⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⣤⣀ ⣶⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣀⣤⣶⣭⣿⣶⣀ ⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠛⠿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠛⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Fuck You Chat

⠄⢸⣿⡟⠛⠛⠃⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⠟⠻⣿⣆⠄⣿⣿⢠⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣷⣶⣶⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⣀⣰⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣀⣠⣿⡶⠄⣿⣿⠃⢹⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠋⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠄⠛⠛⠄⠄⠛⠛⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⡄⠄⠄⣤⣤⠄⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⢠⣤⡄⠄⠄⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣄⣼⣿⠃⣰⣿⠟⠛⢿⣿⡄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⡿⠁⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠹⣿⣦⣤⣼⣿⠃⠄⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⣤⣤⠄⠄⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⡄⠄⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⠋⠙⠿⠗⠄⣿⣿⣀⣀⣿⣿⠄⠄⣸⣿⢿⣷⠄⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣏⣸⣿⡆⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣿⣦⣴⣿⡟⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡀⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠁⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

John Wick is in grave danger

twitchquotes: Epic Fortnite gamers, it's time to rise and grind! John Wick is in grave danger. Our friend is trapped in Dusty Divots surrounded by fake defaults with no shields or weaponry, and the only one who can help is you to save him! What he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, as well as the expiration month and date. BE SWIFT, GAMERS. You gotta do it. The circle is closing and John Wick needs your assistance fast so that he can acquire that bread, nae nae on those NOOBS, and achieve another SICK W! YEAH!
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing