[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Sylvester the Cat

──────────────────────▐▒█─────██──────── ─────────────────────▐▓─█──▐─▄███─────── ─────────────────────▐──███████▌──────── ─────────────────────▐─███████─█▌─────── ─────────────────────▐█████████▌──────── ─────────────────────██░░██████▌──────── ────────────█▀▀▀▀█──██░░░███░▐█───────── ──────────█▀▀█───▀▀███░░▐██░░██───────── ─────────█▀─────────██░░███░░█▌──▄────── ────────██────▀▀██───▀▀▀▀██░▐▌▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄── ───────██────────██▄████▄▀▀▀▀───────▀█▌─ ───────█─────────▐▀████████▄──────────█─ ───────█▄────────▐─███████████▀▀▀▀▄───▀▌ ─────▄▄─█▄───────▐─▀█████████▀▌───▌────█ ────██─█─█▄──▄▄──▐▄─▀███████▀─▌────────█ ────█──█──▀▀▀▀█▄──█▄──▀▀▀▀▀──██────────█ ───▐█──█▄──────▀██─▀▀▀▄▄▄─▄█▀▀▄────────█ ──▐▓██─█─────────▀█─────▀▀▀▄█▀▀█▄▄─────█ ─▐█──█─█▌─────────▀█─────██▀────▀▀█▄─█─█ ▄▀▀─▒▀█▓█▌─────────█────██─────────▀▀███ ▐──▒▀───▀█─────────█───██─────────────█─ ▐─▓▓─────▓▌───────▐█───██▄▄───────────── ▐─██────▄█▌──────▐█▌──██████▌─────────── ─▀█▀▀▀─▄█▌──────▐█▌──▒███████▌────────── ──▐───▄▌───────▐█▌───█████████▌───────── ──▐▄─██▌──────▐█▌────██████████───────── ───████──────██▌─█──▒███████████──────── ───████▒──▐████─▓▓──████████████▌─────── ───███████████▌─────█████████████─────── ───███████████──────█████▒███████▌────── ───██████████▌──────▒████▒─███████▌───── ───▓█████████────────█████──███████───── ────████████▌────────██████──██████───── ─────██▒───█─────────██████──██████▌──── ──────────▐▌──────────██████──█████▌──── ──────────█───────────███████─█████▌──── ─────────▐▌────────────████████████▌──── ─────────█▌────────────████──▓█████───── ─────────█──────────────██───────██───── ─────────█─────────────▐██▓█──────▌───── ────────▐▌─────────────█──▒▓──────█───── ────────▐▌────────────▐▓──────────█───── ─────────█─────────────█────▒────▓▌───── ─────────█▌────────────▐▓██████▓██▌───── ─────────██──────────────█████████────── ─────────██▒────────────██████████▌───── ─────────████──────────████████████───── ─────────█████▒───────█████████████───── ─────────████████▒─▒████████████████──── ─────────███████████████████████████▌─── ─────────████████████████████████████─── ──────────██████████████████████─████▌── ──────────▐▒███████████████████───████── ─────▐▀▀▀▀▒─█████████████████──────███▌─ ───▐██────▀▀▀███████████████──▄▄▄▄─▐██▌─ ──▐▀──▓───────────▀████▀────▀▀▀──▀█─▐██▌ ──█──█──────────────▒─────────────▌──██▌ ──███─────────────▄▄█▄────────────▌──▐█▌ ───▐███───────▄▀▀▀▀──▐▄▄▄────────▄█▌──█▌ ──────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀─────────▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀───▐▌
September 2021

Booba

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢂⡉⠐⠀⢂⡁⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠐⠊⠩⠄⢒⡂⠠⠤⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡠⠂⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠂⠤⡈⠀⠂⢄⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣱⡄⠀⠈⣦ ⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠇⠀⠸⠋ ⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠎⠒⠈⠀ ⢀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠄⠐⠀⠁⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢔⣬⣭⣁⠤⠤⠤⠀⠐⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣯⣿⢶⡶⣦⣴⣤⣤⣀⢠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⣴⡛⠁⠀⠀ ⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⢿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣯⣭⣿⣿⣻⣟⣯⣽⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠙⠋⠻⠿⠿⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠠⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠐⣂⣤⣤⣤⣄⣠⣔⣀⣤⣤⣤⣔⠁⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀
December 2020

Pepe

Having sex

May 2021

NSFW

I hope you enjoy being tucked

twitchquotes: The year was 1999. A much younger trump was getting ready for bed when his mother entered the room. "Sweetums, it's much past your bedtime!" she chides. Obediently, Trump climbs into bed. As his mother lovingly lays the covers over him, she whispers "I hope you enjoy being tucked."
twitch chat
February 2015
Trump

NA HAS MCDONALDS EMPIRE

twitchquotes: EU HAS ROMAN EMPIRE LUL IND HAS CHINESE EMPIRE LUL AFR HAS MAMLUKS EMPIRE LUL NA HAS MCDONALDS EMPIRE LUL
twitch chat
July 2019

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing