[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Running dog

┈┈┈┈╱▏┈┈┈┈┈╱▔▔▔▔╲┈┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈▏▏┈┈┈┈┈▏╲▕▋▕▋▏┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈╲╲┈┈┈┈┈▏┈▏┈▔▔▔▆┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈┈╲▔▔▔▔▔╲╱┈╰┳┳┳╯┈┈┈ ┈┈╱╲╱╲▏┈┈┈┈┈┈▕▔╰━╯┈┈┈┈ ┈┈▔╲╲╱╱▔╱▔▔╲╲╲╲┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈╲╱╲╱┈┈┈┈╲╲▂╲▂┈┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╲╱╲╱┈┈┈┈┈
November 2014

THATS RIGHT IM TALKING ABOUT EU LUL

twitchquotes: OUR TEETH ARE EWWWWW LUL THE PEOPLE WHO WATCH US ARE FEW LUL SJOKZ IS THE ONLY GOOD THING TO VIEW LUL THATS RIGHT IM TALKING ABOUT EU LUL
twitch chat
August 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit ✔ already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔ We're actually scaling ✔ last loss ✔ it's a fast 9 ✔ going eif
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Decided I will no longer be paying taxes

Decided I will no longer be paying taxes. What are they gonna do, tax me more? Go ahead. I wont pay those either Oh im going to prison? The one paid for by my tax dollars? Sorry. Didn't pay em. Now there is no prison. I am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times.
June 2021

Kripp is a professional children's card game streamer

twitchquotes: Who the hell do you think you kids are? Kripp is a professional children's card game streamer and mobile games salesman, and you think you can just come in his chat and criticize him and his plays like you know something he doesn't? Get real. Maybe if you ate your veggies like my boy Kripp, you'd have the brainpower to make crazy split-second analytical decisions that can beat the other kids on the playground. Show some fucking respect
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing