[Copypasta] someone who shares my passion for drinking water

twitchquotes: Finally someone who shares my passion and enthusiasm for drinking water. I'm more of an alkaline person, I often like to drink from water bottles, Contigo brand specifically. I don't really like Reverse Osmosis, it kind of leaves a funny feeling in my mouth, but I'll drink it if needed. The only problem with Alkaline is that when you get a new filter the water is cloudy for a bit and the taste is off. My house has Two taps at the sink, one for alkaline, one for reverse osmosis.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
June 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary

My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him. On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I don’t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. It’s also the first time I’ve received Reddit gold. When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured I’m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit. Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. He’s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming. But Reddit, it’s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I don’t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
September 2021

Reddit

NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN

twitchquotes: To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
twitch chat
July 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing