[Copypasta] someone who shares my passion for drinking water

twitchquotes: Finally someone who shares my passion and enthusiasm for drinking water. I'm more of an alkaline person, I often like to drink from water bottles, Contigo brand specifically. I don't really like Reverse Osmosis, it kind of leaves a funny feeling in my mouth, but I'll drink it if needed. The only problem with Alkaline is that when you get a new filter the water is cloudy for a bit and the taste is off. My house has Two taps at the sink, one for alkaline, one for reverse osmosis.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Taco Bell's new Salty Sriracha Quesarito

twitchquotes: Wow Kripparian, you seem salty today! But not as salty as Taco Bell's new Salty Sriracha Quesarito for only $2.99! Packed with tbSpicy and PJSalt its got everything you want in a tbQuesarito !
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

sellout

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

Roblox has taken over my sons life

Roblox has taken over my sons life, I need someone here to help me, it started off pretty small, he told me he was into this game called Roblox. I looked it over, seemed nice. That was 5 years ago, now my son has locked himself inside his room, using a pile of roblox toy plastic to guard me from opening it. When he comes out (The 1 time he does a week) he carries 5 bottles of empty soda pop filled with human waste and empty bags of food and throws them away. He will not speak to me, and will not leave the house, only will play Roblox. I've tried it all, but he seems to find a way to play roblox. I tired killing the WiFi but he payed someone in robux to let him have his, so he has his own wifi source, and trying to take away his PC causes him to go into a fit of terror, where he'll scream "ROBLOX ESCAPE THE BOSSBABY RAINBOW OBBY FIGDET SPINNER" until he gets it back please someone tell me how I stop this. I've tried doing a thing I call "Good Robloxian Robux" where I give him Robux when he does good things, like come out of his room, or doesn't use more then 20+ hours of wifi a day but it only works so much please someone tell me how I can get my son back, I miss that boy, he's 25 now, and needs a job
March 2021

KappaPride

twitchquotes: KappaPride = Rainbow face (no space)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

What is a GOAT?

twitchquotes: The domestic goat or simply goat (Capra aegagrus hircus) is a subspecies of C. aegagrus domesticated from the wild goat of Southwest Asia and Eastern Europe.
twitch chat
February 2019

Overwatch

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing