[Copypasta] someone who shares my passion for drinking water

twitchquotes: Finally someone who shares my passion and enthusiasm for drinking water. I'm more of an alkaline person, I often like to drink from water bottles, Contigo brand specifically. I don't really like Reverse Osmosis, it kind of leaves a funny feeling in my mouth, but I'll drink it if needed. The only problem with Alkaline is that when you get a new filter the water is cloudy for a bit and the taste is off. My house has Two taps at the sink, one for alkaline, one for reverse osmosis.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Reynad's Lawyer

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽_•︻̷̿┻̿═━一 Greetings, I am Reynad's new lawyer, Gino Pasterino. It appears you are playing one of my client's decks, which is now under copyright at the US patent offices. Please desist immediately or be subject to monetary fines and penalties. No cappuccino.
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Kappa salute

twitchquotes: Kappa 7
twitch chat
May 2017

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021

POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid

🚶‍♂️are you the👁👄👁new girl😜heh☺️ i thought so😌i’ve never seen👀 you before🤔 cone e chee wah ✋🏻 i’m david-kun😚it’s so nice😛to finally meet you🤪you look just like😳my waifu🥵HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹anyways😐i’m so sorry😔about the jerks😡in class😤theyre all👊🏻BAKA👊🏻they only want😭one thing😫not me🥴i just like🤓to watch📺my favourite anime😍jiu jitsu kaisen😍and read manga😎mmmalso👉🏻👈🏻ithinkyourereallycool😅kawaee desu neigh😳🐴HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹nghuuh😣i’m sorry😤i’m just nervous😭okay😡it’s just😉well😋it’s just🥵mm I JUST WANT TO KNOW🤔IF I CAN SUCK👅ON YOUR NIPPLETS🤭OKAY❓well😰what do you 👊🏻👊🏻NNGGGH😵
February 2021

Weebs

Anime girl excited

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠴⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣀⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣠⡾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⢷⣄⠀⠀⠹⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠯⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣤⡀⠘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠢⣀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡙⡳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠃⢀⡴⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣾⡀⢐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣴⡀⠁⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠈⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠳⡈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⠽⠿⠿⣿⣷⣶⣌⡳⡀⠀⢹⣷⡄⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⢥⠀⠀⡾⠋⣰⡿⡟⠊⠀⠚⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠉⢹⠀⢳⠀⢸⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⠰⢻⠋⠀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠈⠀⠀⢃⢘⡏⢿⣿⡄ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣼⡇⠈⢿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⣿⠀⠀⡨⠂⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠈⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣐⠊⠀⠀⠀⢉⠶⠶⢂⠈⠙⠒⠂⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⠀⣀⠂⢣⡀⠀⠀⠘⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠷⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡀⡙⠀⠈⢧⠀⠡⡀⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡫⣋⣥⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡗⠃⠐⠀⠈⣷⡀⢳⡄⠂⠀⠀⣸⣿⡛⠑⠛⢿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⡀⠂⡀⠀⣸⢱⡈⠇⠐⠄⡠⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡐⡀⠀⢠⠏⠀⢳⡘⡄⠈⠀⢿⡿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣧⠐⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⢳⡴⡀⠀⢸⣿⡄⠀⠉⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⡀⠀⠃⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠱⣕⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢄⠈⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Weebs

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