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Only way I can feel safe

twitchquotes: When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to Kripps youtube, turn the brightness all the way up and watch the video with the laptop screen close to my eyes. When the video is done I close my eyes and can still see Kripps face while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

REKT Not REKT

โ˜ Not REKT โ˜‘ REKT โ˜‘ REKTangle โ˜‘ SHREKT โ˜‘ REKT-it Ralph โ˜‘ Total REKTall โ˜‘ The Lord of the REKT โ˜‘ The Usual SusREKTs โ˜‘ North by NorthREKT โ˜‘ REKT to the Future โ˜‘ Once Upon a Time in the REKT โ˜‘ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT โ˜‘ LawREKT of Arabia โ˜‘ Tyrannosaurus REKT โ˜‘ eREKTile dysfunction
May 2014

Classic

Shrek

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

GME to the moon

.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€*ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜€๏ธif we holdใ€€ใ€€. ,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆ โœฆ ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šโ€Š๐Ÿš€ gme ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€หšใ€€ โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€* ใ€€ใ€€ โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ๐ŸŒ‘ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ ๐ŸŒŽ โ€ โ€ if we sell โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ,ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€* .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€*ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ”ŠTHIS IS A ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐ŸธALERT. INCOMING ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEME๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ŒHEADING STRAIGHT ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€YOUR WAY. ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐Ÿšง๐Ÿšง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐Ÿธ ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹ .BUCKLE UPโ™ฟโ™ฟโ™ฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ‘ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ“ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฌ๐ŸšฌDANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing