[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
Formatted in markdown for Reddit comments
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

When a stream sniper looks at a stream, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun

twitchquotes: When a Stream Sniper looks at a stream, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when Kripp orders a 420YoloQuickSc0peR MLG 5000 Stream Sniper Rifle with a 10/10 BM magazine, orange juice holder, Cattarian reticle, with custom well met rounds, and an optional built in asshurt detection system, he's a casual.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi Godโ€™s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradลซฤten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the โ€œInternetโ€? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spฤ“king wit minen aspฤซeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spฤซen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spฤซtว’us frivลl thou namest โ€œthine lifโ€. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cว’uthest hauen knouen what unblessed pลซnฤซciว’un thine littel โ€œgleuโ€ glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tว’ng stille. But thou cว’uthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจHAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom๐Ÿ—ฝloving hoes๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…who put the ๐Ÿ‘in IM๐Ÿ‘MENT๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›looks like donald๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿคฎfinally got caught๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โœˆ๏ธtrying to call daddy ukraine๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ to take out hoe biden๐Ÿง“๐Ÿป๐Ÿ”ฅ but now we need to RIDE๐Ÿ‡CUMgress ๐Ÿ›raw๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘… so they canโ€™t back down๏ธ, send this to๐Ÿ”Ÿof your๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿปwokest๐Ÿ“woes๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŒor say ๐Ÿ‘‹BYE to ur independence๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฉeating that IMPEACHMENT๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธDAY๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธASS ๐Ÿ‘is the only๏ธ ethical๐Ÿ‘Œform of consumption๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹under late capitalism๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ’ถso WEโ€™RE ALL EATING TODAYโ˜ญโ˜ญโ˜ญ๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…
twitch chat
December 2019

Muffet from Undertale

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
March 2016

Show browser history or riot!

twitchquotes: ใƒฝเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰ SHOW BROWSER HISTORY OR RIOT ใƒฝเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ riot เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing