I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
How it feels to be a CSGO Liquid fan
I wake up from my slumber as the ray of sunlight passes the curtains and falls on my eyes, I sit on my bed for a while scrolling down through social media and then I make my way to the washroom. I sit on the toilet knowing this Liquid roster will never work out and as I defecate and the waste masses exit my body I look down and all I see is the current state of Liquid. As I flush the toilet I see the memories of the Intel Grand Slam run and all the other titles getting flushed and fading away into the pit of abyss.
I look in the mirror and the flashbacks of last year's performances hit hard, I grab onto with the sheer force of hope. I hope that we shall rise one day, resurrect as a phoenix from the ashes but now it seems inevitable. The players on the team are way too passive and lord NAF himself cannot do anything. If you want to know how it feels to be a Liquid fan. It hurts everyday, every minute, every second, seeing my favorite team suffer. Seeing my lord NAF struggle in pain. The agony in his face and the sadness that multiplies every time they lose.
CSGO
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, letβs say π£ hypothetically, you π, my mother πͺ. Were to give π me, your 
son πββοΈ, your credit πΈ card π³ information ππΌ. So I π₯ could make π a purchase π² of 500 π― robux π on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister π±ββοΈ will have you π believe π
π», I π₯ have done β
a very βΌ good π job πββοΈπ€΅ of doing my chores π§Ό, including π², but π not limited π to; The dishes π³π½ππΌ, the laundry and the taking π out the trash βΉοΈββοΈπΆπ.
son πββοΈ, your credit πΈ card π³ information ππΌ. So I π₯ could make π a purchase π² of 500 π― robux π on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister π±ββοΈ will have you π believe π
π», I π₯ have done β
a very βΌ good π job πββοΈπ€΅ of doing my chores π§Ό, including π², but π not limited π to; The dishes π³π½ππΌ, the laundry and the taking π out the trash βΉοΈββοΈπΆπ.
Ben Shapiro
Sense of pride and accomplishment
twitchquotes:
The π° intent π° is π° to π° provide π° players π° with π° a π° sense π° of π° pride π° and π° accomplishment π° for π° unlocking π° different π° heroes. π° As π° for π° cost, π° we π° selected π° initial π° values π° based π° upon π° data π° from π° the π° Open π° Beta π° and π° other π° adjustments π° made π° to π° milestone π° rewards π° before π° launch. π° Among π° other π° things, π° we're π° looking π° at π° average π° per-player π° credit π° earn π° rates π° on π° a π° daily π° basis, π° and π° we'll π° be π° making π° constant π° adjustments π° to π° ensure π° that π° players π° have π° challenges π° that π° are π° compelling, π° rewarding, π° and π° of π° course π° attainable π° via π° gameplay. We π° appreciate π° the π° candid π° feedback, π° and π° the π° passion π° the π° community π° has π° put π° forth π° around π° the π° current π° topics π° here π° on π° Reddit, π° our π° forums π° and π° across π° numerous π° social π° media π° outlets. Our π° team π° will π° continue π° to π° make π° changes π° and π° monitor π° community π° feedback π° and π° update π° everyone π° as π° soon π° and π° as π° often π° as π° we π° can. π°
twitch chat
Spy from tf2 disguised himself as demoman
twitchquotes:
Bruh wharf if, if the spy fromb tf2 disguised himself as demoman to get an N-word word pass.
twitch chat
I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing
I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.