[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Forsen's only spectator

twitchquotes: Forsen, hello. It's me - your only spectator. Over the years I have created the illusion that many people are watching you, but it was me. Now I will write this message from all accounts.
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How do you do, fellow homosexuals?

Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
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Sorry, I dropped my chess set

twitchquotes: โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™™โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž Sorry, I've dropped my chess set โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™™โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™™โ™— โ™˜ โ™Ÿ โ™› โ™• โ™œ โ™ž โ™Ÿโ™› โ™™โ™— โ™˜
twitch chat
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No one this year has a chance against TL

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A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing