I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
(â̿Ě̯ââŹâ´âŹâ´ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...
twitchquotes:
Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. Itâs boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. Iâm not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though theyâre not.
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Twitch Chat created a strategy that revolved around...
twitchquotes:
Twitch Chat created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your livestreamer in one minute with a bunch of copypasta in the chat. Fighting for chat control and battles between mods make an overall chat more fun and compelling, but taking the same pasta and copying it 20+ times is not particularly fun or interactive...
twitch chat
Kripp
KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR
twitchquotes:
KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR! MR. KRABS IS IN THERE! STANDING AT THE CONCESSION! PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION!
KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR! MR. KRABS IS IN THERE! STANDING AT THE CONCESSION! PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION!
twitch chat
Classic
Discord user cracks after seeing the word âsusâ
oh my god
among us isnt FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE
ITS BEEN MONTHS
MONTHS
IM SICK OF THIS SHIT
JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE PEOPLE OH MY GOD
EVERYTHING ABOUT AMONG US IS UNCOOL
LITERALLY EVERYTHING
IT SCREAMS âIM A VIRGINâ
AND GODDAMNIT THAT WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS SHITB
ITS NOT FUNNY
ITS A DUDE ON METH
WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS
LIKE WHAT THE HELL BRO
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
HOLY SHIT HUMANITY IS FUCKed
THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE ALL TIME LOW
OH MY FYCKING LOOORDDD DUDE
@everyone STOP MAKING AMONG US JOKES
ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY
holy shit
fuck anybody who finds among us funny
im done with this shit
Among Us / Amogus
Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youâre going to be in a great mood all day, because youâre going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereâs a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donât have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatâs why you donât have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
Youâre going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youâre going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youâre going to have an exciting life now.
Look hereâs a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youâre going to love this. You donât have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
Youâre going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnât that beautiful on your ice cream.