[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as McCree

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you can’t accept me you’re a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

That's some bad shit right there

twitchquotes: do NOT sign me the FUCK up 👎👀👎👀👎👀👎👀👎👀 bad shit ba̷̶ ԁ sHit 👎 thats ❌ some bad 👎👎shit right 👎👎 th 👎 ere 👎👎👎 right ❌ there ❌ ❌ if i do ƽaү so my self🚫 i say so 🚫 thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ 🚫 👎 👎👎НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ 👎 👎👎 👎 🚫 👎 👀 👀 👀 👎👎Bad shit
twitch chat
April 2016

Shia LaBeouf "Just Do It"

DO IT, just DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just… do it! Some people dream of success, while you’re gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you’re not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? … DO IT! Just… DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you’re tired of starting over, stop. giving. up.
March 2021

Which one of you got reddit to send me this

Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit "Hi there, A concerned redditor reached out to us about you. When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Moonmoon subs are the most toxic?

twitchquotes: Is there any particular reason that your subs are the most toxic, useless wastes of life on all of twitch? I get that streaming gaming tends to attract a lot of losers, but what is it about your subs that makes them so uniquely cancerous? What makes them want to venture out of their trailers and basements to spam and shitpost where they aren't wanted? Is it too much to ask that you savages contain yourselves to the bowels of twitch?
twitch chat
July 2017
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing