[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Sneed's Feed & Seed

The joke is that the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" which is clever in itself and quite funny to those with a mature sense of humour but what's really just hilarious about it is that if you look closely at the front of this store, Sneed's Feed & Seed, you can see a line that reads "Formerly Chuck's". Now, this might go over the average viewer's head as this, THIS, is peak comedy. I doubt anything will ever be as funny as the joke about Sneed's Feed & Seed. Are you ready for this one? So, like I said, the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" and this sign says "Formerly Chuck's", which means that when Chuck owned the place, well, I don't have to tell you...
January 2021

Pika girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠤⢄⣀⡏⠉⠁⠒⠢⢷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠖⠚⡏⠉⠉⠁⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠠⢄⠀⠎⠁⠀⠰⣀⠀⠀⠄⠈⠙⠆⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠻⣧⡀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠀⣀⡤⠤⠖⡒⠿⠥⣄⡀⠀⢠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠲⢼⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛⠁⢀⢴⡘⠰⡀⡦⡀⡍⠲⢄⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠁⡄⣠⣧⠎⠘⠁⠀⠣⠁⠱⡏⢆⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⢀⡇⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠬⣼⡀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠸⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⢸⢹⠄⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠉⢇⠀⣽⡄⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣏⢠⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢪⢷⣸⠀⣹⣴⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠉⢌⣄⠟⣤⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⡵⠋⣾⣻⢡⠃⡇⡆⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠘⠀⠀⠪⢴⢸⠙⠊⠉⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠯⠞⠁⠹⡹⠐⠀⠁⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⡰⠁⠙⢦⡀⠘⡄⠀⠑⠄⣀⢹⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡃⡇⡀⠀⠀⢀⠇ ⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀⠹⡘⡌⣢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠴⠚⠓⡇⡏⢀⣠⠔⠊⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠑⠒⠒⠒⢣⣩⣀⡞⠉⡽⢄⣀⣵⠛⢭⠑⡖⢲⣳⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠋⣻⠢⠀⠈⢇⠺⡘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠢⣄⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠝⣆⠀⠀⠸⡀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠠⠧⡤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠙⠀⠀⠀⢪⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠠⠴⢮⣁⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⠉⢢⣄⡀⠀⢸⠄⡇⠀⠀⡠⠋⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠑⢤⠎⠁⠀⠀⠙⠫⣍⠁⠀⡽⠒⠋⠀⠀⠀⠑⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠒⣼⣀⠠⡪⠭⠩⢔⠄⠑⡎⢀⠀⣀⠤⡀⠀⠀⠈⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠉⡠⠐⠛⠂⠤⠀⠀⠙⢄⠅⠀⠀⡠⠇⠓⠒⠓⡙⠀⠀⠑⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡇⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⣠⠤⠬⠮⠶⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⠴⠢⠬⠥⠀⠄⠍⠍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⠀⠈
March 2021

Weebs

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I like pom

twitchquotes: I like pom. You read that wrong. You have a dirty mind and I hope you have a bad day. Goodbye and please go to church. Cleanse your mind, soul and body. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The year is 2025. MoonMoon lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he hits the hardest dab known to humanity
twitch chat
January 2018
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing