[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
Formatted in markdown for Reddit comments
I used to be a real ad
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Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?

I don’t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. There’s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I can’t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like they’re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. I’m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that I’m not being weird for it. Please tell me there’s someone who feels the same thing
May 2022

Reddit

Auto Chess Tanner

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Reckful" now nerd? Haha whats up rook-4, it's Tanner from DotA Underlords. Remember me? Me and the guys used to stop your win streak in the early rounds. Sorry you were just rolling a lot of pairs lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Katarina the girl you needed for assassin synergy? Yeah she’s in my imperial comp now. I have over 2 3 stars by round 3-5 and use an epic avatar. I guess some things never change huh 8ht place? Nice catching up lol.
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Tanner from High School

Teamfight Tactics

hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog

twitchquotes: hey hafu i saw that u keep calling your boyfriend "dog". as a new viewer this is kinda off putting and gives the vibe that u hate men. is it possible to call him david instead
twitch chat
June 2019
Hafu

Patrick Star

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–’β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
ascii art
July 2015

xQc toxic twat

twitchquotes: I mean, it’s XQC. We expected anything different? Did any of ya’lll watch him as an OW pro? Let’s be honest here, was only a matter a time. and his channel won’t die, it’s filled with toxic twats just like him. he gets banned from twitch, he’ll go to FB or YT and continue to make bank.
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW
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