[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
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More Copypastas

Spending New Year on Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: No Friends BibleThump ๐Ÿ‘ No Girlfriend BibleThump ๐Ÿ‘ Spending New Year on Twitch Chat BibleThump ๐Ÿ‘ Must be us chat BibleThump
twitch chat
January 2018

I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021

One condition: let me touch the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripparian, I see you have less viewers than your sexual partner, Reynad. I can guarantee you 5,000 viewers, bringing your count above his. There is but one condition - you must come to my home and let me touch the Kripparian. No copy pasterino dongerino kappacino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden

The results ๐Ÿ“ˆare in and our gurl ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป sanders is out ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ. Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden. He's cumming ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ to DOMINATE๐Ÿคผโ€โ™‚๏ธ our HEAD of state ๐ŸŠ and his bitch๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ mike pence. He may be a donkey but he's big as a horse ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿด and is ready to touch ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ˜ˆ the hearts ๐Ÿ’žof all Americans ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ. Cum erection day ๐Ÿ—ณ y'all sluts better fill that hole ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Œ next to biden and relaseโœŠ America's aching ๐Ÿคคthrobbing ๐Ÿ˜ฎ desire for green ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘energy, a ban ๐Ÿ›‘on those naughty big black guns๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ, and more money to pay๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ธ those slutty nurses ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ to make us all feel better ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿฅด. Cum ๐Ÿ’ฆ hoevember help the needy ๐Ÿ‘…๐ŸงŽ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ by supporting big daddy Biden ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณand naughty Nancy๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ and give dirty Donald ๐ŸŽฉ, bitch McConnell ๐Ÿข, and those filthy ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ reSUBlicans๐Ÿ˜ blue balls๐Ÿ”ต. Send to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ of your most deviant ๐Ÿ˜ˆdemocrats. If you get 5๏ธโƒฃback ur a Biden bitch ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ต. if u get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ u will spend a hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ Decemberโ›„๏ธnight with those skanks at the ERECToral ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ† college ๐Ÿ›.)
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Joe Biden

Terminating your casual account

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp this is BLIZZARD, remember how we gave you every card...golden! Just to get you to legend. And you're stuck at 9? Its the end of the season Kripp... were gonna have to terminate your casual account.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing