[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
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The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

moon2A emote

⣿⡇⣰⣶⣶⣭⠻⣏⠁⠀⠀⣠⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⣿⡀⠀⢹⣧⣿⠀⠀⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠟⢿⣝⠷⣶⡾⣿⡟⢀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⡀⠉⠛⠶⢟⣫⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠾⠛⢻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⠿⠗⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣾⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
August 2021
MOONMOON

YoDa

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣴⠈⠉⠁⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠁⠉⢿⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡀⠀⠑⡀⠘⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡀⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⡿⠛⠉⠛⠿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢠⣦⠀⡉⣑⣤⣿⣇⢀⠛⣠⢀⣆⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⣤⠠⣤⠤⣠⣿⠏⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠹⣿⣶⣶⣶⣴⠟⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠅⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
YoDa

When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛ ɪ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ʜᴇ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ɢᴏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴇᴛ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜʀᴏᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴍ ɪɴ ᴡᴀʀᴍ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴏ ᴅᴇᴇᴘᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɢᴏʟᴅ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ sɪᴛs ᴏɴ ᴛᴏɪʟᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴇᴇs ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴀᴅ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ғᴏᴏᴅ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴇᴀᴛs ᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

XL Super Sized Monster

twitchquotes: "Oh my God," gasped Raina. That thing is HUGE, its going to make me so wet!. Kripp smirked, "Yup." He began pumping furiously as the pressure built up and his Vegan strength began to dwindle. "Are you ready?" Kripp said cheekily. "I don't know about this, I think we should..." but it was too late. Kripp blasted her point blank, gentlely bruising her skin with a pressure rating well above 2. "Next time you can do me," said Kripp as he put away his XL Super Sized Monster.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing