[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye πŸ˜‚ Yuh πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘€ Uh πŸ˜”πŸ˜€ Skrrrt πŸ’¨πŸ€” I πŸ‘ hate 😑 people πŸ‘« who have a different 😑 skin πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘‘ color 🎨 from me (x32) instrumental 🎺 break πŸ’” I πŸ‘πŸ‘€ hate 😑🌚 people πŸ‘« who have a different πŸ‘€β“β‰ skin πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘‘ color πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Can the mods ban us all?

twitchquotes: can :thinking: the :thinking: mods :thinking: ban :thinking: us :thinking: all :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017

MODS

Classic

As I approached the Kripp with my bulging juiced up biceps

twitchquotes: As I approached the Kripp with my bulging juiced up biceps, I heard a snicker. "Soda is healthier than milk, dude" says the Kripp. With one look at him I can already tell the only thing he lifts is card packs. Just as I'm about to punch him, he top decks Big Game Hunter and I am shot dead. "Who's juiced now?" smirks the Kripp.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing