I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."
AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?
My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
Fortnite
Am I The Asshole?
Among Us wikipedia entry comment (The Amogus Effect)
To: Talk:Among Us The heavy amount of shitposting which satires the videogame "Among Us" seems massive and relevant enough to me to have some sort of brief mention in this article. As there is a lot of satire about whether or not Among Us is "dead" or "overpopulated by 5 year olds". Of course, this section would maintain the formal and encyclopedic tone of Wikipedia articles, but things such as the "Among Us Effect" As seen here:1st or in the Lego Piece 26047 (Image of the aforementioned piece, which looks like the Crewmate in Among Us. This internet phenomenom is so big that you can literally post the Image of a trashcan without any context and many people will get the "Amogus" reference But take all of this with a bit of salt. My goal here is not to get the funnies, but to make wikipedia a better place, and I think this is a way to do it, but If you don't feel like this is the right way feel free to tell me.
Among Us / Amogus
AMONGUS AMONGUS AMONGUS
โผ๏ธโผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐๐ฆ SHITโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐ฉ๐ AMONG ๐ฐ US ๐บ๐ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐ฑ! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ AMONG ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ US ๐จ IS THE BEST ๐๐ฏ FUCKING ๐ฆ๐๐ GAME ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ 
๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐
พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR 
CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think 
it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐
๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐
พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐
Among Us / Amogus
Emoji Pasta
We didn't start the fire (emoji pasta)
๐ซWE ๐กDIDNโT๐คชSTARTโTHE๐พ FIRE ๐ฅ IT ๐คจWAS ๐คฌALWAYS๐คฉBURNING๐ฅต SINCE ๐งTHEโจWORLDS๐ BEEN๐ปTURNING