[Copypasta] I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

WutFace

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣤⣭⣋⣻⣋⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣛⠛⡉⠩⣭⣍⣷⢮⣤⡉⢧⣀⣀⣈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠟⠑⠘⢿⣿⣿⣶⡂⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⢾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠩⠤⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⡇⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠒⢺⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠟⠄⠄⠼⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Brofist straight in your pepperonis

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, I ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ. Mʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs sᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ "ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴜᴘ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. Iғ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟɪғᴇ, I'ʟʟ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs. Tʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ, ᴀssʜᴏʟᴇ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021

Peruvians and Dota 2

twitchquotes: Let's look at this statistically. Assuming you are not Peruvian, your team has four chances to spawn a Peruvian. The other team has five chances to spawn a Peruvian. Overall, you will have less Peruvians then your opponents, and will automatically rise on the ladder. If you aren't rising, you are probably secretly a Peruvian, ruining the statistical balance of sweet victory.
twitch chat
February 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Discovering a way to produce eggs much like a chicken does

twitchquotes: Hello, i come to seek help. I am interested in trying to discover a way to produce eggs much like a chicken does. i have tested inserting the egg into myself and hoping it will act like a seed and grow like a tree in my belly but so far it has not been successful. Please help i struggle to sleep at night without an answer.
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing